


Giving In

by centauri2002



Category: Mai-HiME
Genre: Emotional, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-08-27
Updated: 2010-09-02
Packaged: 2017-11-07 07:29:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 48,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/428465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/centauri2002/pseuds/centauri2002
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Both Natsuki and Shizuru struggle to come to terms with their emotions and one another after the tumultuous events of The Carnival. After things returned to a semblance of normality, Natsuki and Shizuru settle into a routine they both seem to be comfortable with. But it is only a matter of time until something gives and the entire dynamic of their relationship is thrown into turmoil. </p>
<p>The first chapter was initially intended to be a one-shot smut but the story evolved into something more emotionally charged.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. For You

**Author's Note:**

> Since fanfiction.net’s recent witch hunt for stories involving intimacy between characters, I’ve begun relocating my fiction here. This was actually first published back in 2007. I’ve removed the author’s notes from the end of the chapters since they’re not too relevant any more. I think the story speaks for itself. ;)
> 
> Warning: This was originally intended to be only a smutfic but it's kind of evolved into something more. However, it will eventually get around to that and will focus on the intimacy of two female characters. If you don't appreciate that (though I couldn't understand why) then look away now before your eyeballs melt! Now that those people have left, let’s get on with the lemon-y goodness!

The air gave way, almost in fear, as the whistle of a blade sliced through it. Natsuki's heart stammered in her chest at the sight before her.  _Is this the place?_ She inwardly questioned. Her hand tightly gripped a door handle and she had one foot inside the room and one outside. She had frozen as soon as she'd opened the door and the scene before her registered in her mind. Another whistle sounded out and Natsuki's eyes followed a blur of metal sweep in an arc through the air. The owner of the weapon was dressed in unusual attire. Unusual to Natsuki anyway. Black armour adorned their legs, waist, chest and head. Underneath the armour were black pleated pants and a white shirt tied at the upper arm by white cloth. It was as if the armoured form was dancing, weaving the deadly weapon to an unheard beat. The facemask hid the identity of the owner and Natsuki squinted at the piece of armour to try and catch a glimpse through the metal bars.

A quiet cough broke the spell that held Natsuki in position and she blinked a few times, turning her head from side to side to find the source. Similarly dressed women stood around the edge of the large hall, all but one focused on the weapon wielding dancer in the centre of it. All of them held their facemasks at their sides and she was surprised to see not one man among them. The woman who had been gently coughing to draw her attention now stood a few feet away, a soft smile and a curious look on her face. Feeling a little embarrassed for her staring and state of indecision, Natsuki drew herself fully into the room and carefully closed the door behind her.

"Can I help you?" The woman's soft tone was hushed.

Natsuki shot her a cold look, her eyebrows drawing together to cause irritated creases to appear. "No."

The other woman's eyes widened in surprise at first but soon narrowed in suspicion. She took a step closer but paused at the hostile glare she received. "This area is for members only..." She trailed off, expecting Natsuki to understand the remainder of the sentence.

The raven-haired teenager's jaw clenched. Why was this stranger butting into her business? She turned away from the annoyance and her eyes were drawn back to the lone figure in the centre of the hall. Each placement of the foot, each tense of a muscle, each arc and thrust of the blade was made with precision and such grace that Natsuki could only gawk in awe. A spark of recognition tugged at her mind, stirring disturbing memories. There was something about those movements that reminded her of the way Shizuru had wielded her element during The Carnival, yet there was also something distinctly different. The weapon itself was very different from the extravagance of the red naginata her friend had used to kill so many. This one was merely a long wooden shaft with a blade akin to a katana's attached at one end of it. Just before the blade was a small circular guard and below that was the naginata's only decoration; red cloth that had been wrapped around it to about halfway down the shaft. Each of the weapon's movements was lacking in that murderous intent she had witnessed before, replaced with the want to show the beauty of the kata.

Feeling a pressure on her shoulder, Natsuki spun around to face the same woman as before. She flinched away, scowling at her. "What do you think you're doing?" she forced through clenched teeth, attempting to control her anger at the lack of respect towards her personal space.

The surprise appeared on the other woman's face once more and lingered. "I'm sorry but I'll have to ask you to leave."

Natsuki let out a frustrated breath. "Look, I'm here to meet someone." She raised her voice a little, hoping she'd get the point and leave her be. Besides, she had come to meet someone; she was just a little earlier than expected. She'd often come to pick up Shizuru outside this building and give her a ride back to her apartment on her Ducati. But curiosity and an early dinner and pushed her inside to see what exactly it was her friend did in here.

She knew Shizuru participated in many activities during the day and evenings but she hadn't divulged every single one to her. She guessed her friend thought it might bore her. Perhaps if she'd been talking of tea ceremonies she would have been right in her assumptions but this was an entirely different matter. In the past, she'd never really thought of Shizuru as an active sort of person, she always seemed to expend as little energy as possible, doing only enough and nothing more. Certainly, this seemed to be the case with her work as Kaichou of the Student Council. In everyday tasks, she seemed to move languidly yet always with grace and poise. Yet, she had seen another side to Shizuru entirely when The Carnival had come. That Shizuru had done everything in her power to ensure Natsuki's enemies were destroyed. And that was an awful lot of power she had discovered.

It made sense to her now that Shizuru would be involved in naginatajutsu but she was still surprised to find her here. She knew Shizuru felt immense guilt over her actions during The Carnival and had expected that she'd want to sever herself from any reminder of them. Again, Shizuru had proven that she was stronger than she had given her credit for. She hadn't spotted her in this hall though.  _Where could she be?_

"I still need to ask you to wait outside," the woman said almost apologetically.

Why wasn't she giving up? Natsuki crossed her arms across her chest defiantly and took on a stance that, she hoped, told the other woman she was going nowhere. The other woman's brow knotted in confusion and irritation. Obviously, she couldn't understand why this girl was being so obstinate. Now she had drawn the attention of a few others in the hall. Just as the woman next to Natsuki was about to open her mouth and repeat her remark, she glanced behind the girl clad in biker leathers, her eyebrows rising.

"It's okay, Arao-san," came a muffled voice from behind her and she turned quickly, her arms still folded across her chest, the leather creaking slightly at the sudden movement.

Stood there, just feet away, was the one who had been performing the kata in the centre of the hall, holding the naginata with its blunt end resting against the polished floor. "Sensei?" The questioning voice of the woman who had been annoying her drifted to her ears but she didn't turn to look at her.

In one fluid motion, this Sensei reached up behind the facemask and pulled at the black cloth tied behind it before grasping it firmly with the same hand. The protective garment was then tugged at, releasing a mane of chestnut hair to fall around and frame a refined face. Deep crimson eyes pierced her own, never faltering, a smile gracing her calm features. Natsuki's heart fluttered at the sight and she was slightly surprised to see there wasn't a single sign of perspiration on the captivating beauty. Those eyes then flicked away from hers and settled upon the woman nearby.

"She is my guest," Shizuru explained and then turned around to address the rest of the class. "That is enough for today. Ensure you practice your katas. I will want to see you performing them next time." The other women bowed to their sensei and she returned it before facing Natsuki once more.

"Shizuru..?" Natsuki asked a little uncertainly.  _She's a sensei?_ Her brain finally registered the new information. The armoured woman cocked her head to one side and smiled at her, a hint of fondness seeping into her expression.  _It's so strange... seeing her like this,_ she thought. Her emerald gaze dropped down over the contours of the protective clothing, finally coming to Shizuru's bare feet and then back up again to meet crimson which now held a touch of amusement.

"Ara, is something wrong? Natsuki is early," came the instantly recognisable Kyoto-ben accent.

Natsuki shook her head slowly, still stunned by the revelation.  _And that kata... I knew she was graceful but... that was beautiful._ She shut off her inner monologue and concentrated on replying to Shizuru instead. "No, I just finished up early and got fed up waiting outside." She jabbed her thumb in the direction of the door behind her to emphasise her words.

"As impatient as ever." The corner of Shizuru's lips twitched upwards as she spoke. At Natsuki's roll of the eyes and huffed breath she glanced around the room. Natsuki followed her gaze, seeing that most of the women had filed into an adjoining room but some had remained, chatting to each other. She then looked back at Natsuki. "I need to get this armour off, can Natsuki assist me?" There was a twinkle of something in those crimson orbs but Natsuki barely registered it. When she continued to look blankly at her friend, she continued. "It is hard to get on and off."

"Oh," Natsuki grunted out and shrugged. Shizuru smiled again and turned, lifting her naginata and walking towards a lone door in the opposite wall. One of the students shuffled over eagerly and Shizuru passed her naginata to the woman. Natsuki couldn't help but glare as a blush filled the student's cheeks when Shizuru looked at her.  _Stupid fangirls,_ she inwardly cursed. Apparently sensing something was awry, the girl hurried away to place the weapon back where it belonged whilst the sensei wasn't using it.

Natsuki's attention was drawn back to Shizuru when she heard the jangle of keys and she saw the door being opened. Her friend glanced back at her before stepping inside and she followed, donning a demeanour of disinterest. Noting this, Shizuru merely smirked and closed the door behind them. The room itself was fairly small, housing a small table with a lamp, some paperwork and some stationary. A wooden chair sat under the table and nearby were two metal lockers. There was a long wooden bench against one wall with a large comfortable-looking blanket folded atop it. There was an alcove set into another wall that led into a small shower room. She guessed this was the club leader's office, which would make it Shizuru's, though she wasn't sure how many clubs convened here.

Shizuru crossed the room and opened the left hand locker, turning back to Natsuki once that was done. She stepped forwards closing the distance quickly and waited. Natsuki shifted uncomfortably under her gaze, red orbs burning into her. That look made the heat rise under her skin. "W-what?" She cursed herself for stuttering. Why couldn't she ever gain immunity from that look.

Shizuru smiled her first fully genuine smile since Natsuki had arrived. It held a great many things within it and she was happy that it was just for her. "Natsuki is meant to be helping me," she said cheerfully.

Heat rose up to the biker's cheeks and she quickly stepped around Shizuru to hide the blush. She was standing around like an idiot. Why did Shizuru always do that to her? She surveyed the armour, quickly ascertaining how they were fastened to the slim body beneath them. She decided to start with the shin guards first and knelt down beside Shizuru, her hands moving to the armour. As she removed those, the pleated pants fell away from the other woman's legs and she could tell they were quite baggy. She placed the two items to one side and she could feel crimson eyes upon her but she didn't look up.

Next, she moved onto the gloves. "I don't think you need my help for these," she complained though her tone held no hint of agitation. Shizuru merely chuckled, her mirth causing chestnut strands to dance around her face and over her shoulders. Natsuki pulled at the armour and it slipped off, her fingers unintentionally dragging against the skin of the other woman's wrist and palm. Her well-trained ear picked up Shizuru's hitched breath but she ignored it, continuing on to the other hand. The sound of the other woman's quickening breaths were soon drowned out by the pumping of blood through her own ears, as if it was trying to make her oblivious to what was going on around her. She swallowed, her throat suddenly becoming dry.  _What's wrong with me?_

She placed the pair of gloves next to the shin guards and then eyed Shizuru. That calm expression remained on her face, but her gaze was averted this time, focused on the wall ahead of her. Only the armour at her waist and chest remained and those would probably be the most difficult to remove.  _In more ways than one,_ she found herself thinking. She stepped forwards and searched for the fastenings on both pieces. "You could help me, you know," Natsuki scoffed.

Shizuru turned her head to look her in the eye. "Where's the fun in that?" she asked with a devious smirk, one Natsuki recognised all too well.

Deciding to concentrate on her task, she turned her attention to the chest armour. At a guess, it appeared to be bamboo and lacquered too. There was a pattern etched into it and it looked pretty expensive. It was certainly of better quality than those of Shizuru's students. There appeared to be three ties to this piece, one at each shoulder at one at the small of the back. Not wanting to damage it in any way, she set about removing it as carefully as possible. Her nimble fingers made short work of the knot at Shizuru's back and she slid the dark cloth out of the way. She moved her hands up to the tie at the right shoulder. Grasping the chest plate with one hand, she untied the knot with the other. Then she moved onto the final tie and expertly undid that one as well. The armour dropped into her hand and the weight of it surprised her. It was quite light yet solid. She stepped around Shizuru, stretching her other arm out to grip the opposite side of the chest piece. The older woman shivered slightly as Natsuki's arm grazed her chest.

Natsuki placed the item carefully with the others and returned to stand in front of Shizuru, eyeing the final piece of armour suspiciously. She hadn't been able to figure out where the ties on this one was. It didn't help that she was constantly being distracted by the now heaving chest of the other woman.  _What's up with her?_ She grumbled in her head, more annoyed because her eyes were being drawn to it. She focused on the waist armour for a moment, noting that the flap in the centre held Shizuru's name and what she guessed to be the name of the dojo. Slightly smaller flaps flanked that one, providing ample protection for the legs and groin. "So how do I get this off?" she asked, not looking up at Shizuru's face now.

Shizuru's right hand moving caught her attention and it made a motion which caused Natsuki's cheeks to flare up with embarrassment. She was pointing to the centre flap. "There," was all Shizuru said, her voice even. How could she do this to her?  _Damn you, Shizuru._

"There's no way I'm... No. There's no way. You can reach down there yourself," Natsuki huffed, her arms folding tightly over her chest. She turned her head to the side in a sorry attempt to hide her blushing face.

"Ara, Natsuki doesn't want to help me?" came the feigned hurt she'd come to expect at this point in their interaction. No matter how many times she told herself she was teasing her, it still caused a sinking feeling in her chest. She pushed down the sensation, her embarrassment outweighing that at the time being. After a few moments she heard a heavy breath come from the other woman. "Alright, I'll do it." The resigned tone in her voice was even more crushing than the feigned hurt as she knew this one was real.

Natsuki dropped her arms to her sides and sighed. "Fine. I'll do it." She rolled her eyes and knelt down in front of her friend. She looked up into that crimson gaze and saw a hint of amusement, along with something else she'd seen before but hadn't been able to name yet. She'd often thought of asking what Shizuru thought when she saw that in her eyes but knew she'd get an evasive response. There wasn't much point in trying to get something out of the Kyoto woman unless she wanted to offer it freely. Shizuru shifted her feet slightly, spreading her legs to give Natsuki better access. The burning heat in the biker's face flared up at that thought.

_Why do I keep thinking like this? What the heck is wrong with me?_ Now staring at the flap, she reached out and tentatively pulled it upwards to see what was behind it. The curve of Shizuru's thighs were masked a little by the pants but because of the black cloth tied at where her legs met, she got a clear indication on what was beneath the clothing. Natsuki was sure she was going to pass out with the amount of blood that was rushing to her head. It didn't help that her head was level with Shizuru's groin either at this point, her face all too near for her liking. Swallowing hard, she lifted her free hand and wrapped her fingers around part of the thin cloth, her knuckles brushing the pants and she could feel the heat of Shizuru beneath them.

She sharply pulled on the material, satisfied when the knot yielded, loosening the grip the ties had on Shizuru's waist. She could see now that it was wrapped once around her slim form. She reached around her hips with her other hand, allowing the waist armour to rest on her shoulder for now so it wouldn't fall to the ground when she freed it. Leaning in a little too close, she reached behind Shizuru and pulled on the thin piece of cloth. Her fingers fell to the curve of the other woman's behind when the armour dropped onto her, released at last from its hold. If it hadn't been for the item between her and Shizuru she would have found her cheek resting against her belly right now.

Natsuki quickly shot backwards, the armour falling into her arms and looked up at Shizuru's face. Her head was tilted to the side, her eyes shut and her lower lip was held firmly between her teeth. There was even a slight tint of pink colouring her cheeks.  _Oh Shizuru, why do you do this to yourself?_ She inwardly asked, sadly. But then it hit her. Natsuki was really the one doing this to her. She could have quite easily removed the armour in a less invasive manner but, even if it was sub-consciously, she had chosen to do it the way she had.  _Shizuru certainly didn't force me. Why did I do that then?_

"S-sorry," she stuttered out. That was the only thing she could think of to say with the way her mind was whirling right now.

Crimson orbs found hers and she was sure she could see shame hidden beneath their swirling depths. Shizuru turned and walked back to her locker. "Ookini, Natsuki," she muttered, her voice quieter than usual.

Natsuki shook her head.  _Why do you continue to feel ashamed of how you feel?_ She really wished she had the courage to speak these questions aloud. She was being a bit hypocritical in thinking that though. Didn't she feel ashamed of her own feelings?  _How do I really feel? Gah, why is this so hard to figure out?_ She stood and placed the armour with the others before walking over to where Shizuru stood at her locker.

The older woman reached up with a hand and grasped the white cloth bound around her upper left arm, her head slightly lowered and her eyes focused on something within the locker. She tugged on the cloth and it unwound, freeing the sleeve of the shirt she wore. Natsuki recognised the type of clothing; it resembled a kimono shirt in the manner it was worn and tied. She watched with fascination as the wide sleeve slid down, hiding smooth creamy flesh as it went. It finally came to rest just at the slender wrist, above delicate hands and long fingers. She found herself staring at that hand, unable to tear her gaze away and was glad when it reached up to free the other sleeve, disappearing around the other side of Shizuru's body.

Attempting to distract herself, she leaned forwards and peered into the locker, her eyes scanning the small place quickly. There wasn't much inside it. There were some articles of clothing; trousers, a sleeveless top, a sweater, shoes, and to Natsuki's embarrassment and curiosity - underwear.  _Doesn't she wear any under those clothes?_ She found herself thinking which only furthered the heights of her embarrassment. Images flashed into her mind and she became acutely aware of how close to Shizuru she was standing.

"Ara, if Natsuki wanted to know what bra I was wearing today she could have just asked," came the Kyoto woman's teasing voice.

Natsuki's face flushed further and she snapped her head around to glare at her tormentor. She immediately regretted the action though as she found herself only inches away from Shizuru's face. The first thing to come to her was the sweet scent of Shizuru, the smell reminiscent of green tea and the armour she had just removed. Then came the even sweeter scent of her breath as it brushed against her face, bringing every nerve under her skin to attention. She became aware of the heat emanating from the other woman's body and the smouldering warmth filled her, fanning her own temperature. Her pulse quickened, adding to the speed at which the blood filled her cheeks and her stomach fluttered nervously.

Her emerald gaze settled upon burning red, the emotions beneath them becoming all too clear to Natsuki. Realisation hit her and she found herself knowing exactly what it was she saw there. That carnal desire, that raw need, that uninhibited yearning for someone else. To feel them close, to be able to touch them. And she saw the engulfing sorrow in those crimson pools as well. The sadness of desiring so much but never being able to have. Her chest felt as though it were being crushed.  _Why do I have to realise this now? Why couldn't I have acknowledged it and saved Shizuru all this pain? Why have I always been so damn selfish?_ The questions burned at her but that fear remained, the terror of being hurt, of being abandoned.

And then she saw a flicker of something else. What was it? Hope? It was a small glimmer but it was there, forcing everything else away and it wanted to pull her in, to allow her to take away all that pain Shizuru felt. And she saw it die as she pulled away, the light dulling as quickly as it had come. She turned away and walked to the table, wanting to lean on it but she merely stood there. She felt as though she couldn't breathe.  _Why does this have to be so hard? Why can't I just tell her that what she feels is okay... that I... feel it too? Do I?_ She let out a forced sigh. Emotion was so damn confusing and she found she could never find an answer, no matter how many questions she asked.

The pain from the woman behind her was almost palpable. She couldn't turn to look at her, she couldn't see that look in her eyes any more. She wanted so badly to take it away and she knew she had the power to do so. Yet another thing that tore at her heart. She tried to steady her breathing; the close proximity of the two had really thrown her body into turmoil. At least she was beginning to understand the reason for that now. Perhaps she always had but hadn't been ready to accept it, she mused.

The sound of footsteps behind her alerted her to Shizuru's movement but she didn't turn. She was still trying to force the reddened tint from her face. Slender arms slid around her waist and she stiffened slightly at the unexpected touch. Even through her leathers, she could feel the heat of the other woman. She felt Shizuru's body press into her back and she became acutely aware of the softness of her breasts through the clothing. She relaxed a little into the embrace but her mind was quickly falling into incoherent thought. One of Shizuru's hands lay flat against her stomach, the contact leaving a searing heat. The throbbing between her legs that she'd been trying to ignore was steadily increasing, driving her to distraction.

Strands of chestnut fell into her line of sight and a smooth cheek slid against her own for a moment, fully returning the blush she had worked so hard to push down. Then she felt a heat against her ear, causing a shiver to shoot down her spine. "Kanin na," came the breathy words, eliciting another shiver.

"Eh?" The surprisingly unintelligent response made Natsuki cringe. Shizuru was always so good at making her lose control over her faculties.

There was a momentary squeeze of her waist and then more breath against her ear. "I didn't mean to make Natsuki uncomfortable." The tone was light but she could hear the undertones of sadness and shame. She could pick those hidden emotions out of her friend's words more and more lately.

"Y-you didn't!" she said quickly, not wanting to hear those emotions in Shizuru's voice ever again.

A small chuckle erupted in her ear and she could feel the other woman's body vibrate behind her, only adding to the sensations coursing through her body. "Then this doesn't upset Natsuki?" The teasing tone was accompanied by applied pressure on her stomach by the flat hand against it.

"No," she squeaked, cursing her own vocal chords for not complying with the cool demeanour she wanted to portray.

The arms against her midsection snaked further around her, pulling her in tightly against the form behind her, her bottom fitting perfectly into the groove where thigh met hip on Shizuru. She let out a small gasp, feeling a searing heat shoot down to the pit of her stomach. "You don't have to pretend for me, Natsuki." The teasing tone was gone, replaced with a mixture of heavy desire and sorrow.

The hand on her stomach released its grip and the fingertips began to trace heated patterns over the top of her leathers, burning their way up to her sternum. She clenched her jaw to stop the moan that wanted to break from her throat. The breathing in her ear was now coming in short, sharp exhales and she found herself wondering why Shizuru would put herself through this. "If... if you're trying to... prove a point..." Natsuki struggled to form the sentence. "Just stop it," she managed weakly. The fingers at her chest stopped their journey, frozen in place and the arm around her waist released its grip. She couldn't feel the air on her ear any more. Either Shizuru had pulled away or she was holding her breath. "You're just hurting yourself, Shizuru," she murmured, the sadness seeping into her own voice now.

A gush of air flowing over the side of her face told her Shizuru had released her breath and she felt the other woman pull away, her presence replaced by cool air that chilled her. She instantly missed the contact. "Kanin..." She heard Shizuru's voice crack and she immediately turned, the shock of it propelling her around to look at her friend.

Chestnut locks fell down and hung around her face as she dipped her head, avoiding Natsuki's concerned emerald eyes. She was sure she could see those elegant shoulders shake slightly but there were no tears in those half hidden eyes. She wanted to reach out and embrace her, soothe all her worries and doubts and troubles.  _Why don't I?_ She couldn't really come up with a convincing argument against it but still she stood there, watching her friend suffer. She searched her mind for something to say, anything that would help but nothing came and she felt so helpless. But something at the back of her mind kept prodding her, telling her there was something she could do. And she knew it.

Finally, Shizuru lifted her head and pained crimson met unsure emerald, their gazes locking. She couldn't stand it, couldn't stand seeing the suffering behind those eyes. Every time she saw it, it was as though she was being stabbed through the chest. Her own selfishness was not only causing Shizuru pain but herself too. An internal conflict raged and she quickly came to a decision. Sometimes you just had to risk it. Risk it all on something that was important to you.  _My precious thing._  The thought caused her to surge forwards and she registered the surprise in those crimson eyes as she wrapped her arms around Shizuru's waist, pulling her into a tight embrace.

She rested her head under Shizuru's chin and the beating of the other woman's heart resounded in her ear. The pace was almost erratic and painfully fast. "Na... tsuki?" came the uncertain voice of her friend, a tone that rarely tarnished it. She didn't reply, she merely tightened her grip on the slender waist in her arms and she felt the tense muscles there relax. Then she felt a hand slip into her hair, fingernails brushing against her scalp, causing her to shudder slightly. A cheek followed the hand, nuzzling into the black strands, causing a smile to tug at the corners of Natsuki's mouth. A small tugging of a few strands of her hair told her that Shizuru's other hand was playing with a few of the locks that fell down her back. In that moment, all the worries melted away and it felt as though it was just the two of them in the world and all that mattered was that they held on to one another.

"I'm sorry, Shizuru..." she murmured into the other woman's chest. The tugging at her hair stopped for a moment but soon continued. Perhaps she'd have to say more. Shizuru usually understood what she meant, even if she hadn't said anything but she'd never spoken of this before and trying to persuade a heart that had locked itself away that it was alright to feel might be a bit harder. Of course, the problem was trying to explain exactly what she felt to her, she wasn't exactly good with words when it came to her feelings. "I've been so selfish," she settled on saying.

A harder tug on her hair forced her to tilt her head upwards and she felt as though she was drowning in a sea of crimson. That pain was still there though and she wanted to squeeze her eyes shut, to close it out. "Don't say such things." Natsuki followed the movement of those full pink lips as the saddened words spilled over them.

Her brow furrowed a little as she tried to think of more words to explain what she meant. The hand that had been playing with the hair at her back now tentatively poked at her forehead, a finger smoothing out the creases that had appeared there. Ignoring the action, Natsuki concentrated on voicing her thoughts. "I've always left you to suffer silently. And alone." The guilt clung to her words and she didn't try to hide it. The prodding finger paused and long lashes fell over a mirror of red, hiding that pain for a moment.

The hand at her forehead dropped down slightly and she could feel uncertain fingers brush against the skin of her cheek. Her own eyes fluttered shut at the touch. "It's okay, Natsuki. That's something I'm willing to bear." Natsuki was surprised at the honest answer; she had expected an evasive response.

"You shouldn't have to," she breathed, leaning into the fingers at her cheek, pushing the heated flesh into a welcoming palm. She opened her eyes to see teeth grabbing at that bottom lip again.

"If it's the only way I can be with Natsuki then yes, I do." Her tone had deepened and there was a firmness there now, a hint of determination. Her heart fluttered in her chest at the words, elated that Shizuru wanted to be with her and saddened that she felt she had to suffer to do so.

Natsuki pressed her lips together in a thin line, frustrated that Shizuru wasn't getting what she was meaning. Why couldn't she just come out and say it? "I..." She trailed off before she could even begin. Nervous flapping in her stomach made her feel a little dizzy and the blood was rushing to her cheeks at an alarming rate. She pressed herself against the body in her arms for comfort, eliciting a dull gasp from Shizuru, their bodies so close now she could feel every curve of the other woman. Her eyes fell to the slightly parted lips in front of her, a sheen of moistness covering them. "I don't want you to suffer... ever again," she heard herself saying though she hadn't even realised her mouth was moving.

Hot breath brushed over her face and she could tell Shizuru's pulse had quickened. Still her gaze was settled on those lips and they were becoming increasingly alluring. Why had she never allowed herself to feel like this before? It was so intoxicating. A gentle thumb grazed against the skin of her cheek and repeated its circular motion over and over, leaving a tingling sensation in its wake. She glanced up at the other woman's eyes and they were as focused on her lips as she had been on hers. Her belly did another flip as she realised Shizuru was thinking about kissing her. Instead of leaning in though, she spoke, her gaze never leaving Natsuki's mouth. "Please... don't do anything silly...for my sake." The words were forced and Natsuki could tell she was having problems keeping a calm exterior.

_Why is she still trying to play the martyr? Gah, she's an idiot sometimes!_ Her mind screamed out. "B-baka... What about... for my sake?" she uttered softly, her voice almost coming out as a whisper but from the way Shizuru's eyes widened slightly she could tell she had heard her.

There was that flicker of hope again, burning a little brighter this time. Natsuki let a small smile lighten her features at that. She wasn't going to let it be snuffed out this time. Her gaze trailed down to those full lips once more, watching as the tip of Shizuru's tongue darted out for a moment and then disappeared again, leaving the pink lips glistening. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight and she thought she might have a heart attack if they kept this up. The seconds drew on and she lost all sense of time, feeling as though an eternity was stretching between them, their poses locked. She tilted her head up further, baring her face fully to the other woman.

The hand in her hair gripped tighter around black strands and pressed against her scalp, forcing her face closer to Shizuru's. Her pulse quickened and she found herself holding her breath. She watched as those lips drew closer and closer before she let her eyelids fall. Short, sharp breath on her own lips told her Shizuru was only inches away and she could feel the heat of her body even more so now. Finally, she released her own breath and as soon as she had she felt soft, warm lips against her own. Her mind shut down and she could only concentrate on her senses. The scent of Shizuru, the sound of her mouth against hers, the taste of the other woman's lips and the feel of the moistness of them. She felt as though her legs were like jelly and she was worried they'd give out at any moment.

All too soon, Shizuru pulled back and Natsuki opened her eyes, taking in the other woman's flushed cheeks, dilated pupils and heaving chest. The colour of her eyes had considerably darkened too and her eyelids dropped to half cover them. Her own breathing was heavy and she had to concentrate to slow it. They'd kissed before but certainly not like that.

It left her breathless.

"Na-tsu-ki..." Shizuru breathed, every syllable of her name rolling off her tongue in a surge of desperate need. She shuddered at the tone, and she pressed the flat of her hands into Shizuru's back, squeezing their bodies together further.

Whatever walls the other woman had remaining came crashing down at that point and every emotion was laid bare in those ruddy deep pools. It was almost overwhelming to look upon but Natsuki was happy that Shizuru wasn't hiding for once, that she could see the real her. Shizuru leaned forwards and captured her lips once more, this time the urgency she had held back before was obvious. Her mouth moved against hers with barely concealed desperation and lip mashed against lip. The hand at her cheek slid down and against the sensitive skin of her neck, leaving tremors in its wake. A low guttural moan rose up from Shizuru's throat and a burning heat rose up within Natsuki.

She felt herself being pushed backwards, her feet blindly stumbling until she felt something solid against the back of her legs. The pair nearly tumbled over at the sudden obstacle but Natsuki's strength managed to keep them upright. A tongue darted out and slid against her bottom lip, causing more shivers to overtake her body. She parted her lips instinctively, allowing the probing tongue access to her mouth. She whimpered slightly at the needy touches and caresses of it, receiving another moan in response from Shizuru. She reached out with her own tongue, shockwaves coursing through her body as it met and danced with Shizuru's.

The feeling of something wet on the heated skin of her cheek caused her to pull back from the kiss, her head spinning. Her eyes skimmed over the flushed features before her and she was surprised to see tears in Shizuru's eyes. Either she didn't notice them or she didn't care because she simply yanked on the hair at the back of Natsuki's head, effectively forcing her head back and exposing the creamy skin of her neck. Natsuki then felt searing lips on her throat followed by the flicker of tongue and teeth as they made their way around to the sensitive area under her ear. Another whimper escaped from her mouth which only increased the intensity of the kisses on her neck.

The hand left its place in her hair and she felt fingers slipping under her waist length leather jacket, at the shoulder. Using the back of her hand as leverage, Shizuru soon slid the jacket off Natsuki's shoulders and down her arms, finally letting it fall to the floor. Now there was no obstacle to her neck, Shizuru continued her ministrations on the skin there. In the blaze of incoherent thought, Natsuki couldn't help but think it was all going too fast but couldn't bring herself to care much about it, her body winning over her head in this case.

Her own hands were now grabbing fistfuls of the back of Shizuru's kimono shirt, tugging at it but not making much progress. Shizuru puffed against her neck as the older woman's hands wandered from their place on her arms, over her shoulders and down her back. Involuntarily, she arched her back, pushing her hips against Shizuru's and she heard her gasp against her jaw line which she was now nipping at. And then she claimed her mouth again, moist lips clashing in a heated kiss that clouded her mind further. Shizuru's hands moved around to the front of her one-piece leather suit and settled on her stomach, fingers splayed out. In a tantalising motion, she flitted over the smooth material, only hard enough so Natsuki could barely feel it. Her fingers roamed upwards, hovering over her ribs and gripped her sides, pulling her towards the other woman once more.

Shizuru's tongue dipped in and out of Natsuki's mouth, tormenting her to the point where she roughly pulled at the material she was grasping, tugging it free from the pants it had been tucked into. The older woman leaned forwards, pressing her chest against Natsuki, forcing both of them backwards until the biker was almost sat upon the table behind her. The action forced one of her legs to twitch upwards and it slid in between both of Shizuru's, coming to rest at her groin and causing her to gasp loudly. The intense heat against her thigh made Natsuki acutely aware of their positioning but she didn't pull away, instead she moved her own hands under the white fabric, yearning to feel the skin beneath it. When her fingers touched the flushed skin of Shizuru's back, the other woman shuddered, deepening the kiss further and with more desperation.

One of Shizuru's hands slapped against the metallic table to support her weight, the other one sliding up and over the curve of Natsuki's breast. She felt a moan erupt from the back of her throat as she threw her head backwards, the surge of sensations she felt were all too new and overwhelming for her. Shizuru's lips found her neck again, not wanting to stop their heated worship of Natsuki's body. Shifting their positions slightly, Shizuru used her supportive hand to grab the toned muscle of Natsuki's backside, quickly pulling her hips towards hers again until a thigh was firmly pressed against the apex of her legs. Air hissed out through Natsuki's clenched teeth, the onslaught of pleasurable feelings causing her to squeeze her eyes shut. Now half-standing, half-sitting, she pressed her fingers into the flesh of Shizuru's back, fingernails trailing against the skin there as she dragged her hands in a downwards motion.

The body pressing firmly against hers convulsed at her touch and she felt the breath at her neck come in short bursts, disjointed sounds accompanying them from time to time. The hand on her breast skimmed upwards, sending a shock of pleasure downwards, until it reached the zip of her motorcycle leathers. She took a deep breath in and she waited in anticipation, nerves starting to surface once more. She half expected Shizuru to pull the zipper down slow and teasingly, dragging out the anxiety as much as she could but she didn't. Instead, she yanked on the fastener, quickly pulling it all the way down to her pelvis. In the next moment, she slid her left hand inside the protective garment and eager fingers brushed across the silky skin that covered Natsuki's ribs.

Clad only in her underwear beneath the leathers, it didn't take Shizuru long to find the black lacy material and she cupped her hand over the swell of her right breast. "Shi..." Natsuki heard her own voice but didn't recognise the low, husky tone. "... zuru..." The other woman lifted her head, gazing down at Natsuki's face with hungry eyes. The complete and utter need held within their depths made Natsuki's breath catch and it felt strange knowing that someone wanted her so much. Becoming uncharacteristically impatient, Shizuru pushed Natsuki further onto the table until she was sitting on the edge of it and ducked her head down to kiss the revealed flesh at her collar bone. Sliding both legs in between Natsuki's, Shizuru brought her hands up to her shoulders once more and peeled off the leathers, the cool air on her skin leaving goose bumps.

Shizuru pulled the leathers off her arms and abandoned them at Natsuki's waist. Her fingers then fluttered against the bared skin, leaving a trail of ice and fire all the way up to her bra. She traced the outline of it, breaking the contact between mouth and collarbone to gaze down at her handy work. Natsuki saw her pupils dilate even further, almost completely blotting out the crimson around them. Heat engulfed her face at that stare, those eyes roaming her body and she couldn't help thinking how unfair it was that Shizuru wasn't in the same state of undress.  _I'll just have to even the odds._

Natsuki's hands began to wander from their spot at Shizuru's back and they found the tie at the rear of Shizuru's hakama. She fumbled with the knot for a few moments before smirking with satisfaction when it dropped away from the slender waist. She found the cord of the tie again and unwrapped it from Shizuru's waist, feeling the hakama's grip on the other woman's hips weaken. Realising what was happening, Shizuru blinked rapidly, apparently coming out of the haze she had been in a little. Her eyes were still heavily hooded and she smiled seductively at Natsuki. Her belly somersaulted at the vision.

Taking the opportunity, the younger girl pulled on the white material that was tucked into the black hakama and it slid out easily, loosening at the front. She slid her hands up over the smooth material and watched as Shizuru shuddered under her fingers when they reached the curve of her full breasts. Grasping the hem of the shirt, she yanked on it, pulling it open to reveal pale skin and a white bra. Before she could explore that inviting flesh though, Shizuru's hands found her wrists and pulled them away. Natsuki looked up into dark crimson in shock, wondering why she'd been stopped. Behind the desire she saw a hint of mischief. Shizuru pushed her further back, sliding her against the table, sending papers scattering to the floor. She inhaled suddenly as the skin of her back came into contact with the cool stone of the wall. Shizuru leaned forwards, trapping Natsuki's arms above her head against the wall.

"Don't try to distract me now," Shizuru murmured into her ear, the deep beguiling tone causing her to tremble slightly. She struggled feebly against the other woman's hands but with Shizuru's lips now assaulting her ear and neck she felt considerably weakened. Teeth grazed her throat as hands slid agonisingly slow down the skin of her arms. She let out at frustrated groan as her body began to demand more and she let her hands fall limply to her sides.

The awkwardness of their position didn't escape Natsuki and she wondered how Shizuru was keeping her placement above her. The table wasn't all that large but it was enough so she could sit on it and have her legs hanging over the edge of it. All ponderings hurriedly ceased when she felt a hand slip between her and the wall and deftly unclip her bra. Her eyes widened at the skill in which Shizuru had undone the piece of lingerie one handed. Fingernails scraped against her skin as they journeyed from her back, over her shoulder and pulled one black strap down an arm. She shivered, her heart beating impossibly fast, at the touch. Lips quickly claimed her own again, tongue searching for tongue. She felt the other strap being pulled and the bra was laid to one side, surprisingly carefully.

Shizuru pulled back once more, her eyes darting down to where Natsuki's breasts now rose and fell quickly. Without hesitation she dropped down and captured a small pink bud between her lips, causing Natsuki to let out a surprised and aroused cry. A tongue darted out and flicked over that bud, sending a shockwave down to her centre, heating and fanning the desire that was collecting there. She pushed her head against the wall, glad for the solid obstacle. She clenched her teeth together to stop any more moans from escaping her mouth. A hand cupped her other breast, kneading the flesh there and building the torrent of electricity that surged through her body, bringing every nerve to life.

The free hand was now burning a path down across the tense muscles of her stomach. Shizuru turned her attention to the other breast, her lips closing around the erect nipple, eliciting another bout of tremors from its owner. The hand that had made its home there previously now supported the older woman's weight upon the table. As her tongue went about tracing the outside of the areola, her hand dipped down further, coming to the leather of her garments. Fingertips slid under the tight material, down to the first knuckle before pausing and Shizuru lifted her head. Natsuki met the other woman's gaze, a hive of nerves fluttering in her stomach. Red honed in on green and she hoped Shizuru wouldn't ask her for permission to continue as she didn't know what her answer would be. Instead, the Kyoto beauty pressed her lips against Natsuki's, chasing all uncertain thoughts away.

Even with the distraction, Natsuki's senses honed in on the slightest movement of Shizuru's hand. The fingertips twitched at the smooth skin under her leathers and she let out a whimper into the other woman's mouth. Apparently taking that as her cue, Shizuru pushed her hand further into the depths of Natsuki's clothing, long dextrous fingers dipping beneath black lace and into dark curls. Pausing for only a moment to revel in the feel, the hand delved deeper and fingertips brushed against damp hairs and sensitive skin. Natsuki gasped as Shizuru kissed her way across a cheek and down her jaw line.

A single finger tentatively curled around and slipped in between slick lips, eliciting a low moan from Shizuru. "So wet..." She breathed into Natsuki's ear, the hot air sending spikes of pleasure down her body to meet the sensations she was feeling between her legs. Her cheeks flushed a deeper shade of pink at the words but she pushed her embarrassment away. That same finger, gaining in confidence, ran the length of her centre before flicking over the small bundle of nerves nestled within. Natsuki's hips jutted upwards at the contact and she called out, her voice unusually high pitched. Shizuru focused her efforts on that nub, watching as Natsuki writhed and squirmed beneath her.

"Uhn..." The meaningless sound escaped Natsuki's lips moments before they were caught in a heated kiss. The sliding of lips and the probing of tongues quelled any further moans. Realising her arms were actually working, Natsuki reached around Shizuru with her right arm and buried her hand in chestnut strands, pulling her deeper into the kiss. Her other hand clawed fruitlessly at the table, for anything to hold on to. In a torturous routine, Shizuru's finger flicked over her clit and dipped, trailing the length of the groove there but not yet entering, instead sliding back up and over the bundle of nerves again. Over and over this continued.

Natsuki's hips rocked ever so slightly, her body taking over complete control of her actions now. Her mind had long since shut down, knowing all too well that thought would only hold back the pleasure that was flooding her being. As the cruel teasing went on, her pelvis' movements became more and more jerky and extended, begging to feel Shizuru inside of her. The older woman licked at the parted lips under her and occasionally dipped inside to taste the sweet warmth there. Natsuki whimpered at Shizuru, the torment becoming too much for her. Although she had never felt like this before, her body seemed to know what it wanted and right now it wanted release.

"Natsuki..." Her name was whispered and she barely heard it as Shizuru's fore finger plunged inside her. It remained there, still while she grew accustomed to it and she realised she had been holding her breath. She let a ragged one out, losing focus on the world around her as the finger slid out of her tightness once more. Again, there came a pause. She grasped the hair in her hand tighter, attempting to wordlessly tell Shizuru that she wanted... needed more. She brought her other hand over and grabbed a handful of chestnut locks, pulling Shizuru in for another kiss.

As she took Shizuru's tongue into her mouth and sucked on it, her right hand scraped down against the loose material of the kimono shirt and found its way inside, feeling the curve of the other woman's breast. Shizuru shuddered against her supple fingers, responding by thrusting her own finger inside her once more, with more force this time. Natsuki bit down on the full lip between her teeth receiving a huffed breath in reply. She could feel her own dew seeping out onto Shizuru's hand, coating her fingers, allowing her to pump into her faster and harder.

Natsuki's back arched and she rocked her hips back and forth in a mesmerising motion, setting the pace for her lover. She squeezed the creamy mound in her hand, the erect nipple straining against her palm. Soon, Shizuru added another finger, eliciting a moan of pleasure and slight discomfort from Natsuki who squeezed her eyes shut tightly, her senses amalgamating on those digits.

"Shi... zuru..." she gasped out. "Ngh..." Sounds continued to spill from her as the pace quickened. She felt those two fingers stroke her inner walls, brushing briefly against a particularly sensitive spot deep inside before sweeping back out, and then sliding back in. A high pitched buzzing sound reached her ears as she tossed her head to the side, her mouth hanging agape.

Shizuru was pumping into her with increased fervour, the muscles in her arm tensing and relaxing quickly, a sheen of perspiration coating her body, making it seem as though she was glowing. Natsuki swung her head to the other side, glimpsing the intense look in Shizuru's eyes as she gazed down upon her. The other woman's breath was laboured and she was aware of her own coming out unevenly and with a lot of force. She could feel something building within her, an invisible force building in the pit of her stomach. She had no idea what it was but she knew it was good.

Shizuru leaned in close, pushing her cheek against Natsuki's as her fingers continued their onslaught, the base of her palm slapping off of the younger woman's pubic bone, causing shockwaves of pleasure to surge from the bundle of nerves. Natsuki pushed back against Shizuru's cheek, feeling hot breath puff against her ear accompanied by low whimpers. The overwhelming sensation in her lower torso continued to build, becoming stronger and larger the more Shizuru's fingers brushed against her insides and the more her palm pressed against her clit. Her hands had fallen back to her sides, the arms rigid and fists clenching and unclenching as she started to lose control.

She felt herself coming to a precipice and staring down at a delightfully bottomless pit. She cared not for how long she would fall and if she would ever return for she would go willingly, because Shizuru was taking her there. Her senses went into freefall and her mind spun mercilessly. The surging, climbing sensation within her built to the point of no return and she felt her body begin to convulse. She was vaguely aware of disjointed murmurs coming from her mouth and she guessed Shizuru sensed the change within her too as she intensified her efforts, shimmying closer so their bodies fully touched.

The rhythmic pulse of Shizuru's fingers against that sweet spot within her finally pushed her over the edge and she clamped down on the digits, her senses following suit. An eruption of warmth and ecstasy washed over her, forced from that point deep within her gut and her entire body tensed while waves of pleasure pushed her body into convulsions. Shizuru held her tightly to her chest with her left arm whilst continuing to caress her smooth inner walls, stretching out the orgasm and eventually bringing her down slowly.

When cognisance returned to her, Natsuki at first thought she was blind. Then the cloud embracing her mind began to lift and her vision started to clear. She immediately experienced a giddy feeling and felt compelled to giggle and cry at the same time yet she remained silent. Only the sound of her quick breaths filled her ears. Her entire body tingled and dull waves of warmth radiated from her pelvis. She then became aware of heat against her body and sight returned to her, revealing the form of a smiling Shizuru. Stray strands of chestnut hung her face, others stuck to her forehead from perspiration. Her crimson eyes held many things, the most overwhelming of all was fondness. Her cheeks were flushed a dark pink and her full lips were swollen.

Natsuki's muscles felt completely useless and no matter how many times she commanded them, they refused to obey. They were no better than jelly now and they felt very much like it. She resigned herself to the fate of lying on the hard metallic table top in the arms of the woman who had taken her to the heights of ecstasy and back again.  _I can be content with that,_ she thought.

A slight throb from between her legs registered the only discomfort in her body but it was a small price to pay for what she had just experienced, she decided. She nuzzled her face into the neck of the woman beside her, murmuring happily against the pale, smooth skin there. Shizuru brought a hand up to stroke the midnight tresses that had splayed out against the table.

"I love you," Shizuru whispered into her hair but Natsuki heard it clearly, the words pulling at her heart but not enveloping her in guilt and sadness as they had before. She felt she had seen a glimpse of that today.

_Not today... but soon, Shizuru... I'm sure... you will hear those words too... soon._


	2. For Me

"I love you." The hushed words spilled from her lips and into a mane of black hair that seemed to absorb them. She clung to the body beside her, fearing that if she released her grip for even a second it would be taken from her. She felt the tantalising touch of soft lips against her neck and she had to suppress the moan that wanted to break free from her throat. Her skin was very much alive, each nerve at attention and working overtime. She could feel every torturous shift in the other woman's form, each ragged breath brush against her throat, each murmur vibrate against her skin.

She didn't expect a response from Natsuki, nor did she receive one. She suspected the younger girl was so overwhelmed by the whole experience that she hadn't even heard her. At least, she had hoped so. She would have hated to push that upon her once more. Old emotions rose up within her, taunting her with their cruel familiarity. With them came doubt.  _Did I push her into this?_ She ran the tips of her fingers over exposed ribs.  _Did she enjoy it?_ A shiver answered her questions, along with a small whimper. There was no doubt about it, Natsuki had certainly enjoyed her touch.

Safe in the knowledge that Natsuki couldn't see her face, she relaxed the muscles there and let the emotions flicker across her features. The guilt and shame still plagued her and she knew that even if all her dreams came true, those feelings would take a while to leave her. They were almost as much a part of her as her love for Natsuki. She was afraid of what she would be without them. Quickly pressing her lips into the silky locks beneath her, she felt relief that the beauty shaking slightly in her arms didn't disappear.  _If this is a dream, please don't let me wake up._

It was hard to tell whether this was real or not. At least, for Shizuru it was. On occasion she'd had the faintest glimmer of hope that one day Natsuki would accept her feelings and perhaps return them but it was always quelled quickly. Such thoughts would only lead her down a destructive path. But no matter how hard she tried to suppress them, she still veered uncontrollably towards breaking point and she had let it envelope her completely when it had come.

And now, here she was, holding on to the partly naked curves of the woman she loved.  _How did this happen?_ She asked herself, trying to remember the exact point everything had turned around. The flutter of wet lips on her neck wouldn't let the memories form, however, and she let out a soft sigh at the kisses. Her hand was still snugly buried inside Natsuki's tight centre, the walls having relaxed considerably after her orgasm. Her head spun at the sensation. She felt like searing velvet, something so utterly arousing yet comforting at the same time. She wished she could stay there forever.

Knowing that Natsuki was more than likely going to become very aware of her state of undress and where Shizuru's hand was, she slowly and carefully pulled her fingers out of her lover, delighting in the sensations. A gasp puffed against her neck and she couldn't help but smile. She briefly considered teasing the younger girl but decided Natsuki had had enough new experiences for today. She hoped she'd have the chance to do that in the future though. Retracting her hand along damp curls and the hugging lacy fabric of her panties, Shizuru was finally able to pull her limb to freedom. A dull ache sent throbs radiating outwards from her wrist but she showed no visible signs of the slight pain. The awkward position of their bodies and the form fitting biker leathers were to blame for that. But she was quite happy to bear that small pain for what had happened between them.

"Shizuru." Natsuki spoke her name ever so softly and it made her heart stammer in her chest. She leant back a little and gazed down upon dark emeralds beset in flushed features. Her breath escaped her as she took in that captivating sight, her skin appearing as though it were glowing. The other woman's eyes seemed to be searching hers for something and she hoped her defences were stable enough now to hide any negative emotions that still clung to her. Trembling arms reached up and slid around her neck, pulling her downwards into a weakened embrace. "That was... it was... just..." She could feel the heat from Natsuki's cheek escalate against her own and she knew she was too embarrassed to voice what she was feeling. The tone of her voice was more than enough for Shizuru to fill in the blanks though.

Not for the first time that day, tears stung at her eyes and she had to concentrate to stop them from spilling and falling upon Natsuki's shoulder. "Ookini," she said quietly, her tone a little uneven. She pulled back from the embrace slightly, needing to see those deep, emotional eyes once more. Thankfully, Natsuki didn't appear to notice how watery her own were. She idly ran a hand over raven tresses, smoothing out the ruffled hair.

She watched as Natsuki's eyes widened for a moment and she wondered what it was she was thinking about. She almost giggled at the scrunched up expression that replaced it. Finally, emerald met crimson once more and the younger woman hesitantly spoke. "Y-you... haven't..." she trailed off, her head turning to one side as her cheeks flushed an even brighter shade of red. Shizuru stroked the hair under her fingers encouragingly and Natsuki took in a deep breath, her brows furrowing further. "You haven't... d-done that before... have you?"

Shizuru let out a low chuckle, unable to hold it back. The opportunity that had presented itself to her was very tempting indeed but she knew better than to play with Natsuki's fragile emotions, especially when she was so vulnerable already. Her amused response hadn't reassured Natsuki though and she now bit nervously at the inside of her cheek. Shizuru leaned in and brushed her lips along the heated skin of Natsuki's cheek, trailing her lips down to a delicate ear, teeth grazing the lobe. The other woman shuddered beneath her. "Only you," she answered honestly. "I am yours and yours alone." She breathed into that ear, her voice cracking slightly.

When she pulled back, Natsuki's eyes had darkened to a deeper shade of green. "S-sorry, Shizuru... I..." She looked away again. "It's just... you were... s-so..."

Shizuru ducked down and captured Natsuki's lips, effectively silencing her. The other woman eagerly returned the kiss, her tongue reaching out to meet Shizuru's in a tantalising dance. She could feel her pulse quicken and the heat rise within her again. Eventually, she pulled back and welcomed the much needed air. Natsuki's breathing had dropped as well and she was almost panting. "Ara, Natsuki is picking it up quickly as well." She couldn't help but release the teasing remark, internally rejoicing at the sight of that precious blush.

"Sh-Shizuru..." she half-heartedly warned.

She reached out with one finger and jabbed lightly at the petite nose, watching with fascination when it bounced ever so slightly. The raven-haired beauty looked at her with astonishment before her features softened at the playful glint in her eyes. "I fantasised a lot about Natsuki..." She felt her own cheeks flush as she spoke but kept the teasing tint to her voice. Natsuki's cheeks mirrored her own reaction but she didn't look away. "And I know what feels nice to the touch..." She looked into emerald meaningfully and realisation dawned in those orbs causing her lover to dip her head in embarrassment. "But I suppose instinct took over in the end," she mused, a smile tugging at one corner of her lips.

Suddenly remembering where they both were, she glanced over her shoulder and towards the door. It was still firmly shut and she briefly wondered if any of her students had heard the noises coming from this room. She had noticed that Natsuki had been fairly quiet though and had even forced her mouth shut several times. She felt heat rise to her cheeks as the image of Natsuki's face during the throws of her orgasm flashed through her mind. The throbbing in between her legs grew at the memory but she focused her mind elsewhere.  _My needs aren't important right now,_ she thought.

Gently untangling herself from the younger woman, Shizuru smiled softly as Natsuki murmured in protest, her blushing face still lowered. She eased herself into a standing position, her hands moving to her hakama so it didn't slip to her ankles. Emerald eyes peered at her with a mixture of curiosity and worry. "W-where are you going?" came her uncertain voice.

"To lock the door," Shizuru said with a smirk, quickly walking over to it. She turned the small lock to the right and a satisfying click could be heard. She turned and looked back at Natsuki. The other woman appeared lost in thought, her brow knitted and a rosy tint to her cheeks. She guessed she was running several embarrassing scenarios through her mind right now, all involving someone walking in and discovering the two of them in a compromising position. "I'll take a quick shower," she spoke up again, breaking Natsuki from her imaginings. "Natsuki may use it after me."

She really wanted to hold Natsuki for longer but she knew they couldn't stay in this office all night. Besides, the moment was broken now and she needed to give the other woman some space to think. The shower was a perfect chance to allow her to do so. She moved back to her locker, one hand on her hakama, the other holding her kimono shirt together at the front. She thought of letting the garments fall from her body but decided that now wasn't the time for teasing Natsuki, though the idea was certainly very appealing. She instead loosely tied off the cords of the hakama so they wouldn't fall and then grabbed a towel from her locker. Piling her other clothes on top of it, she glanced back over at Natsuki.

The raven-haired girl had pulled herself into a sitting position and was now slumped against the wall once more, her arms folded awkwardly across her chest. Shizuru couldn't help but think how cute she looked as she tried to feel less vulnerable. Giving one last smile, Shizuru then disappeared into the shower room, pressing her back against the cool tiled wall once she was out of sight. She let a breath out, closing her eyes for a moment.  _Why does this have to feel so awkward now?_ She set aside the towel and clothes on a bench and let her gaze run over the objects in the room.

It wasn't so much a room as a large alcove. There was no door or even a curtain to separate the office and shower. The smooth floor was grooved so the water would filter to the circular drain in one corner. There was a rather large showerhead set into the wall, with a control box at chest height below it. A wooden bench ran half the length of one wall and there was a shelf positioned near the shower aswell. The area was fairly spacious though and there was more than enough room to move about in it. She idly wondered why it was necessary to create a shower room that could fit five people.

Noticing that she'd forgotten her shower gel and shampoo, she moved towards the exit, pausing when she reached it. Natsuki was still sat on the table, one arm wrapped around her slim body but the other hand was now tracing her lips, back and forth. Shizuru was mesmerised by the action and she felt her stomach flip as she saw the mixture of confusion and desire in those emerald eyes.  _What are you thinking?_ The question echoed in her mind but she couldn't force it past her throat.

She coughed gently and headed straight for her locker, tearing her eyes away from the captivating beauty. She fumbled inside the metal container and eventually managed to grab onto what she was looking for. She didn't look back at Natsuki, feeling embarrassed that she'd interrupted whatever it was she was thinking about. She hurried back into the shower room, placing the shower gel and shampoo onto the shelf.

Shizuru grabbed the kimono shirt and opened it fully, letting the smooth material slip off her shoulders, shivering slightly as it brushed against her sensitive skin. Goosebumps rose where the shirt had recently left. As it fell into the crook of her elbows, she remembered the touch of urgent fingertips pressing into the flesh at her back. She let out a haggard breath, a tingling sensation washing over the small of her back, an echo of the memory. She straightened her arms, allowing the shirt to slip completely from her now and she threw it aside, not caring much for neatness at that point.

Grabbing the black cords for her hakama, she quickly untied it and released the hold it had on her waist. Her mind torturously reminded her of how Natsuki had done the same. Her heart thudded heavily in her chest and she chastised herself for getting herself all worked up. She eased her grip on the black pants and they fell, pooling around her ankles in a crumpled pile. She kicked them in the direction of the bench and her kimono shirt before reaching behind her back and unclasping her sports bra. She had to wear one when she was teaching naginatajutsu, she was quite aware of how painful a large bust could be at times and strenuous activity only aided in adding to that. She slipped off her panties aswell, noting the patch of wetness that had collected in them. She shook her head, tossing it aside with her bra.

She placed herself in front of the shower head, hand hovering above the dial that controlled it. Here she was, standing naked and Natsuki was just in the other room, hardly anything separating them. She stared at that hand and then brought it to her face, inhaling the scent that still lingered on it. She involuntarily shuddered, remembering how being inside Natsuki had felt. That aching need surged inside the pit of her stomach once more, clouding her mind and fuelling the heat of her body. She had felt it many times and it was a companion she had grown used to.

She leant her left hand against the smooth tile of the wall, her head hanging as she tried to control her breathing. She was beginning to feel a little light headed now, the raw emotion and desire swirling within her threatening to shatter her self-control. She lowered the hand at her face until it came into contact with the soft patch of hair between her legs. A slight jolt shot through her as she realised that she was touching herself with the hand that had been inside Natsuki. She reached further down and slipped her middle finger in between slick lips. She quickly found her clit and circled it, her movements controlled and practiced.

Her legs trembled slightly and she had to bite down on her lip to stop from calling out to Natsuki. She wanted badly to feel the touch of the biker, to know that she wanted her just a fraction of the amount that she yearned for her. She continued rubbing and flicking at that small bundle of nerves beneath her finger, her hips bucking suddenly from time to time.

Her body needed more though and she realised that this wasn't going to satisfy her anymore. Not that it ever truly had but it had been enough to get by on. She pulled her hand away, releasing a defeated sigh. The emotions continued to build up inside of her but she refused them their release. She quickly turned the shower on and a sudden gush of water covered her, the spray unbearably cold at first yet she didn't move. She gasped at the shock of it, her heart feeling as though it had lurched into her throat. She felt as though the water was cleansing her and she held her hand up, watching as every trace of herself was washed from her fingers.

She then placed her right hand against the wall to join her other and merely concentrated on the feel of the rapidly heating spray upon her sensitive skin. Her hair now hung heavily around her neck and around her face, the chestnut having darkened to a sepia colour from the moisture. Water cascaded over her head and ran down her face. She licked at her lips, tasting the diluted perspiration there.

She stiffened in surprise as she felt something solid touch her back. Her heart jolted and she let out a gasp as a voice drifted to her ears, over the noise of the shower. "Shizuru..." That sensation on her back shifted and she felt it trail down her spine before resting above the curve of her behind. She involuntarily shuddered, the sensitivity of her skin increasing at the touch. She wanted to turn and look at Natsuki, to see the expression on her face, to see the emotion in her eyes but she couldn't, she was frozen.

"How long has Natsuki been..?" She trailed off, her voice losing its usual calm edge.

The fingers resting at her back now slid against her wet skin and around her waist, joined by the other hand as they clasped against her stomach. The muscles at her abdomen instantly tensed and she let out a small whimper as she felt a naked body pressed against hers. "A while," came Natsuki's murmured response and she barely heard it.

Her face flushed as she realised what Natsuki must have seen. A feeling of shame gnawed at her but the breath against her shoulder and the intense heat of the body behind her soon pushed it away. The patter of liquid against floor tiles and skin filled her ears. She couldn't even hear her own irregular heartbeat anymore. "Was... was Natsuki too impatient... for the shower?" She forced out the teasing remark, almost faltering but managing to keep her tone even.

The other woman didn't respond verbally though, instead she pressed into the flesh of her stomach before trailing her nails to the side, grazing the skin of her waist. She shuddered under the touch, unable to stop her reaction. The hands didn't stop there; they continued their slippery caresses over Shizuru's hips, up to her ribs and back to her stomach once more. Her breath became more and more ragged and her head was starting to spin.

Natsuki's left hand lay flat against her belly and pulled her in tighter, so tight she could feel the erect nipples of the other woman against her back. Her right hand continued its exploration of her skin. The touches were uncertain and inexperienced but so, so torturous. She then felt hot lips pressed into the skin of her shoulder, causing another shiver to shoot down her body. No tongue or teeth joined them but the short, quick kisses pushed her further into the dizzy haze of want and desire. She was leaning heavily on her arms now, the elbows shaking slightly at the strain and from the emotions coursing through her.

Unsure fingers found the curve of her breast and slid over the mound, reaching its peak quickly. She gasped out, her body trembling and she knew her legs would give out soon. Natsuki squeezed the nub between two fingers, softly at first but soon increased the pressure when she received encouraging reactions. Shizuru could feel the uncontrollable desire fill her entire being and she relented, giving in to it completely. "Natsuki..." She let the moan escape her throat, drawing out the other woman's name as she flicked at the nipple between her fingers.

The hand dropped from her breast and slid down to her thigh, fingertips gripping the muscle there. Another gasp left her lips and she really missed feeling Natsuki's mouth on hers. She tried to push herself off the wall and turn to face the other woman but her body was being less than cooperative and she found her muscles wouldn't work. Breath against the moist skin of her shoulder set her nerves alight there. From the erratic inhales and exhales, she could tell Natsuki was aroused and also perhaps nervous.  _Is she afraid?_  The question could never be answered as she was distracted by the nearing of a hand to the place she had wanted it most.

Natsuki pushed her fingers into wet curls and Shizuru could feel the hand trembling. She pulled her own right hand from the wall, surprised when she didn't collapse completely. She reached down and rested her hand over Natsuki's, feeling the shaking subside slightly. She brushed her fingernails over the knuckles of her hand, receiving heated kisses trailing from her shoulder to her neck in return. She let out a soft sigh at the sensation. Coaxing the digits downwards with her own hand, she soon felt the dizzying sensation of Natsuki's fingers parting her lips.

A searing heat swept through her mind, incinerating all conscious thought in its merciless path and she could only concentrate on the intoxicating feelings that Natsuki's hands produced. She continued to cover her lover's hand with her own, allowing the uncertain one to fully explore her folds. She bit down on her lip, unable to hold back the whimpers with will power alone now. Her hips had begun to rock mildly and her body was demanding more but she let Natsuki go at her own pace. Dextrous fingers searched her centre, lingering over the areas that seemed to provoke the strongest reactions from Shizuru and she was sure she'd lose her mind if Natsuki continued this for much longer. Was she even aware of how much of a tease she was being?

The tautness in her muscles had increased and she felt as though she was suffocating. Digging her nails into the teasing hand beneath hers, she tried to let Natsuki know what she wanted. The fingers ceased their probing for a moment and teeth grazed the skin of her neck. The fingers moved once more and found the bundle of nerves she'd been manipulating earlier. Instead of soft, flitting explorations, the tip of one of Natsuki's digits pressed down firmly against the nub and Shizuru's legs finally buckled as she gasped out. Her knees painfully met the smooth tiling of the floor but she ignored it, focusing instead on the movement of Natsuki's finger against her clit. The other woman had dropped down with her, wrapped around her back still.

Shizuru threw her head backwards, allowing the constant spray of water to cascade against her face, mingling with the tears that had sprung to her eyes. A strong hand slid from her stomach to her shoulder and pulled her backwards, forcing her to lean against Natsuki's chest. She kept her eyes closed, even when the water's spray focused on her torso instead. She knew that if she opened them, she'd be revealing everything to the younger girl, she'd be able to see Shizuru for who she truly was.  _Maybe that wouldn't be so bad..._

She could feel that emerald gaze on her and she let her eyelids rise a small way, seeing only a slit of the world. With her head leaning against Natsuki's sturdy shoulder, she got a strange view of the other woman's face but even then she could see the emotions set into her features. One eyebrow was slightly arched and her lashes fell across an intense gaze.  _Fascination? Arousal?_ She'd never seen her look that way, she knew that much. As if reacting to the returned look, Natsuki pressed harder against her clit, causing Shizuru to part her lips and let out a whimper. She knew her own expression was unrestrained now and she wouldn't be able to control it even if she had wanted to.  _You've broken my mask, Natsuki._

Seemingly aware of this, Natsuki set about taking full advantage of the fact by evoking as many facial expressions as possible from the helpless woman in her arms. Perhaps copying Shizuru's actions from earlier, she slowly slid a finger down from the bundle of nerves to where the other woman truly needed her. Her hips bucked upwards in response to the motion, confirming that the finger was indeed on the right trajectory. Allowing her fingers to hover there, Natsuki bent down and captured the parted lips beneath her. Shizuru sighed into her mouth as she opened it and allowed her tongue access.

Without warning, Natsuki plunged inside of her, eliciting a gasped cry from Shizuru. Her inner walls clamped down on the finger, sending spasms of pleasure throughout her body. Natsuki's lips moved to her shoulder and left feather light kisses there. Natsuki moved gently inside of her, pulling out slowly and pushing back in with as much care. The rocking of her hips seemed erratic and she had problems matching the pace her lover was trying to set. Her body wanted more but the other woman's uncertainty withheld it for now. The sound of Natsuki's fingers pumping into her slick centre rose to her ears, even above the sound of the water pelting off her skin. She was panting now, small whimpers coming with each breath.

"Mph..." Her attempt at vocalising her needs failed miserably and the unexpected sound caused Natsuki's slow motion to falter. Shizuru's brow furrowed in frustration and she bucked her hips abruptly to show she didn't want her lover to stop.

Natsuki leaned in to her ear, her breath tickling the skin there, causing Shizuru to shiver. "What is it?" Her tone was low and husky and it made a surge of arousal shoot down to her groin. She could certainly get used to hearing that voice.

Shizuru opened her mouth to speak once more but only a moan escaped her throat as Natsuki continued to slowly caress her inner walls. She now pressed the heel of her palm against Shizuru's pubic bone, grinding against it as she slipped in and out of her center, eliciting a long drawn out moan from the older woman. Her pace was still torturously slow though and Shizuru tried to raise a limp arm up to guide the other woman's hand again but found she had little control over her appendages at this point.

"Na.. tsu.. ki..." she gasped out, drawing the biker's attention from her ear to her mouth. Natsuki hovered above her lips, emerald filling her vision. "More..." she breathed, finally able to get her request out. She noticed the shade of those eyes darken at the word. Natsuki dropped down, closing the gap between their lips once more and claimed Shizuru's tongue. As she gently caressed it with her own, she slipped a second finger into Shizuru, causing her to groan into her mouth.

Shizuru felt as though her entire body was quaking at Natsuki's touch and she now increased the pace, matching the frantic bucking of her hips. Natsuki pulled out of the kiss but hovered above the other woman's face, watching her features intently. Shizuru let her eyes fall shut, immersed completely in the sensations washing through her. She tried to clutch at something with her left hand but found nothing viable. Before long she felt slender fingers thread through her own and she gripped them tightly.

Natsuki's toned arm kept a fast and even pace, her fingertips brushing against Shizuru's front wall that caused her body to spasm with each caress. Her lover cradled her as she writhed, fully supporting her weight. Her hips continued jerking but their movements were erratic now and her mouth hung open, allowing each moan and whimper to escape unhindered. Her muscles constricted around Natsuki's fingers, tightening their grip with each thrust, the skin becoming more and more sensitive. She could feel her orgasm building quickly and she knew she wouldn't be able to hold it off, no matter how much she wanted to prolong these pleasurable sensations.

A shockwave surged through her and she felt each one of her muscles constrict as it passed, eventually ending as she squeezed her eyelids tightly together. Another came shortly afterwards and she was vaguely aware of a slopping sound as Natsuki continued to drive into her with those two heavenly fingers. She clutched desperately at the hand in hers, attempting to let her know she was close to release. In response, Natsuki thrust into her firmly, the tips of her digits pressing into her front wall, the heel of her palm grinding against the bundle of nerves nestled in between her lips.

She heard herself calling Natsuki's name over and over as the tension within her built to a crescendo and her inner walls clamped down on those fingers hard. She felt Natsuki gasp against her face but didn't hear her now as the overwhelming sensations had deafened her. Her body convulsed, each tremor originating from her groin and it shook her to her core. Bright, white light filled her vision even though her eyes were closed and she was vaguely aware that she was holding her breath. Natsuki's fingers continued to flicker slightly inside her, their movement considerably reduced by Shizuru's constricted muscles.

She thrashed about for a while longer, the explosion of rapture reducing her to a weakened, vulnerable state. When her mind had cleared she realised she was sobbing lightly, tears rolling freely down her cheeks. She took a deep breath in, trying to clear the fog of her mind, her lungs gladly taking in the much needed oxygen. Her nostrils flared mildly as she tried to control the raw emotion but she couldn't plug a broken dam. The damage was done.

She brought up a shaking right hand to try and cover her face, wanting to hide it from Natsuki but the other woman released her left hand and stopped her. "Let me see you. Please," she whispered and Shizuru couldn't deny her. She slumped back further into Natsuki's embrace, shivering and twitching from time to time. The raven haired beauty made no move to withdraw her hand from the confines of her now relaxed inner walls and instead rubbed her palm gently across her pubic bone repetitively, causing a warm sensation to spread from her groin.

She let out a small murmur, not entirely sure of what it was she was trying to communicate. The patter of water against her chest and stomach was starting to get uncomfortable now and her knees were sore from her earlier collapse. She was also pretty sure her thigh muscles weren't meant to stretch this far for this long. She shuffled backwards slightly, freeing her legs from under her body and lowering her behind onto the tiles below. The movement caused Natsuki's hand to shift slightly and her fingers brushed against the soft tissue inside her causing her to gasp.

Blood rushed back into her calf muscles and down to her feet, leaving a pins and needles effect. She rubbed at her right quadriceps with a hand, coaxing the circulation. She looked up at Natsuki who seemed to be concerned at her discomfort. She gave her a reassuring smile, her facial muscles feeling somewhat lazy now. Wet raven strands fell over her shoulder and the cool moisture shocked her, making her flinch slightly. Natsuki leaned in and pressed her lips against Shizuru's, giving her a lasting tender kiss before pulling back. "You're... so beautiful..." she breathed, her cheeks flushing.

Although she had stopped the involuntary sobbing, Shizuru could still feel tears burning at the corners of her eyes. Natsuki's words pushed the tears over and they trailed down the sides of her face, cooling as they travelled over the reddened flesh. Fingers trailed over the skin of her chest now and seemed to be following the outline of the flush that had spread across her face, neck and breasts during her orgasm. Her breath quickened at the touch and she knew she'd only want more if this continued. She lowered her hand onto Natsuki's and urged the fingers out of her, shuddering at the sensations that caused.

"Is something wrong?" came Natsuki's uncertain voice, a slight tremble in it. Shizuru cradled that hand in hers for a moment and shook her head.

"That was... everything I had ever dreamed," she murmured, still delighting in the little aftershocks that coursed through her. "But it is getting late and we can't stay here forever." She hated to be the voice of reason, especially when she just wanted to snuggle up and go to sleep wrapped around Natsuki but the last thing she wanted was some other club leader banging the door down.

Natsuki hesitantly nodded, as if only registering the possibility of someone else needing the use of this room now. Her emerald gaze fell upon her own hand for a moment and she stared at it, transfixed by the liquid that coated her fingers. Shizuru couldn't help but blush as she followed her gaze. She wondered what it was Natsuki was thinking. Dark strands of hair slid across her back as Natsuki tilted her head to one side and that hand twitched as if she was going to lift it but then she quickly shook her head and wrapped her arms tightly around Shizuru. "Let's get out of here then," she muttered.

Shizuru tried to push herself off of Natsuki but her body still felt weak and shaky. As if sensing this, the other woman shifted and pulled the both of them to their feet with a surprising strength.  _I wonder if she'd ever tire out._ A smirk worked its way to her lips at that thought. Natsuki looked at her curiously and she realised she'd been caught, quickly replacing the expression with an innocent smile. The younger girl merely shook her head at her.

Natsuki still had her arms around Shizuru, embracing her from behind and she was supporting the majority of her weight. Shizuru bent her face up at the spray of water, allowing it to revitalise her. As it washed away the thin layer of perspiration covering her body, she felt her strength return to her and soon she was able to fully stand on her own two feet. She reached out for the shower gel and disentangled herself from Natsuki's arms, turning to face her, only now seeing the other woman in her completely naked glory.

Shizuru's full lips parted and a tongue darted out to subconsciously wet them. Her eyes greedily roamed the curves of the stunning woman before her. And there was no doubt about it, she was definitely a woman now. From those large expressive eyes, down to the slightly pouting lips, to the curve of her breasts and those pert, pink nipples. Her eyes continued downwards to admire the toned stomach, down past her naval and to the shock of dark hair between her legs. There her gaze hovered but she soon continued downwards over the muscled thighs and past long legs to her dainty feet. Her eyes flitted back upwards, lingering over places she soon hoped to claim as her own with her lips, and rested upon the furiously blushing face of the woman she loved.

She reached out and pulled the other woman into her arms, their bodies fitting together perfectly. Now she felt complete, as if the final piece of her puzzle had just been slipped into place. She slid her hands against the smooth skin of Natsuki's waist and rested them at the small of her back, pulling her further into her. Natsuki's arms slipped around her neck, her fingers curling into her chestnut tresses. She could feel her breasts press against the biker's and it sent a shiver down her body. Her lips soon found Natsuki's and they enjoyed a slow, languid kiss; weariness catching up with both of them now.

Shizuru pulled back from the kiss and buried her face into Natsuki's neck, placing quick kisses along the sensitive skin there. The fragrance of her skin and hair was intoxicating and she felt as though she could lose herself in it forever. Fingernails scraped against her scalp, sending jolts of pleasure down her spine and she sighed happily. She nuzzled in further into her neck, her grip on Natsuki's waist tightening.

"Oi. We're meant to be getting out of here." Natsuki's tone was light and almost playful, instead of being annoyed or irritated. Shizuru pulled back, smiling at her.

Shizuru released her grip on the other woman and pushed the bottle of shower gel in between their bodies. "Does Natsuki want to soap me up first or shall I do the honours?" She couldn't help but smirk as the blush spread across Natsuki's cheeks.

The naked biker swatted at her arm and the shower room was filled with the sound of a wet slap. "Don't start." She complained, grabbing the bottle out of Shizuru's hands. She quickly flipped the lid and squirted some of the blue gel into the palm of her hand. Her cheeks reddened at the sound but she continued with her task before ordering the other woman to turn. Shizuru silently complied, a wide grin firmly etched into her features.

Hesitant hands rubbed the cool gel against her skin, their touch almost timid at first but they soon started to gain in confidence. Natsuki lathered Shizuru's back quickly and efficiently and the older woman couldn't help but let out a few satisfied moans as dextrous fingers travelled across her muscles. She jumped a little as the other woman's fingers travelled over the curve of her behind, not expecting the touch or the ticklish sensation. She let out a small giggle, bringing a hand up to hover just in front of her mouth. At the reaction, Natsuki placed her hands on Shizuru's hips and turned her around, her face flushed even further.

"I think you can manage the rest yourself," she muttered. Shizuru tilted her head to one side for a moment, considering teasing her about stopping there but she was looking forward to repeating the exercise with Natsuki so instead she grabbed the shower gel out of her lover's hand.

"It is Natsuki's turn then," she smiled, forcing her lips up with as much innocence as she could muster. Natsuki opened her mouth as if to object but Shizuru quickly placed a finger against her parted lips, silencing her. "No complaints." She received an eye roll in response before the girl turned, leaving Shizuru a nice view of her toned back and bottom.

Quelling the compulsion to merely grab the rounded flesh, the older woman set about rubbing the gel over Natsuki's back. The nerves in her fingers tingled at the sensation of skin gliding over skin and she felt the need to be touching more of her. She held herself back though, not wanting to scare the other girl with her seemingly insatiable needs. Not that she didn't feel satisfied or content at that moment.  _Even if I spent an eternity holding her, it would never be enough._ She internally cringed at her thought.  _Always a helpless romantic,_ she mildly scorned herself.

She noticed that Natsuki would shiver under her caresses from time to time, her skin obviously still sensitive from earlier. She smirked as she subtly lingered over her more receptive areas and mentally marked them for future reference. The biker let out a hard, ragged breath and turned her head to the left so she could see her companion out of the corner of her eye. Shizuru merely smiled at her as if she was doing nothing wrong but she knew Natsuki was onto her.

"Shizu... ru..." she breathed, her voice raspy. Her tone was contradictory; part warning, part aroused and it caused Shizuru to shudder pleasantly. Now that she'd been caught, she dropped all pretences and slipped her arms around Natsuki's waist, the gel causing her hands to slide with great ease. Natsuki gasped out as their bodies slapped together. "Shizuru!" Her voice was tinted with shock now.

"Ara, I thought this was the best way to wash my front. Does Natsuki not agree?" she asked playfully, pressing her lips against the other girl's neck. To emphasise her point she wiggled into Natsuki's back, their skin slipping against each other's easily. Admittedly, she was probably getting herself worked up a little more than she had planned as well but it was a small price to pay to see how Natsuki squirmed.

"Oi!" Natsuki gripped the arms that had snaked around her stomach. "We'll never... get out of here... if you keep... this up." She uttered, her tone thickened with desire and just a hint of annoyance.

"Kanin na, but Natsuki is just so irresistible," Shizuru breathed into the other girl's ear, receiving the shudder she was hoping for. She embraced Natsuki tighter, delighting in the heat of her body.

"B-baka," she murmured, energy having faded from her voice and Shizuru knew she was blushing deeply.

Reluctantly releasing her grip on Natsuki, she pulled away and started to wash the rest of her body. As she soaped herself up she watched as Natsuki took the shower gel back and did the same. She tried to concentrate on what she was doing but her eyes kept drifting back to that alluring body, addicted to the way muscles moved under the skin and the way suds slid down it. She placed herself directly under the spray of hot water and let it rinse her, facing her back to Natsuki to ease the distraction for a moment.

Natsuki reached around her and pulled the bottle of shampoo from the shelf, squeezing out some of it onto her hand. Shizuru was mesmerised by such a simple action and she found herself staring again. This time she wasn't quick enough to look away though and Natsuki's gaze met hers as she rubbed the shampoo into her long, raven locks. A perfectly sculpted eyebrow arched upwards and Shizuru turned her attention to the shampoo bottle now as well. As she idly administered the liquid, her eyes were drawn back to the girl beside her once more and she watched in amused fascination as her breasts jiggled while she rubbed her head.

She looked away again as blood rose to her cheeks, her thoughts wandering to all kinds of interesting places. Interesting for her, at least. Natsuki then stepped in front of her and under the shower head, rinsing her hair and body. Shizuru mustered as much self control as she could to allow the other woman to do so in peace. Soon, the black strands were free of shampoo and were vibrant again. Natsuki turned and walked passed Shizuru, not looking at her once. She heard her wet footfalls trail off into the main office and she guessed she must be looking for a towel.

She let out the breath she'd been subconsciously holding and attended to her own body, letting the water cleanse her completely. She felt abnormally cold though, chilled even though warm water was running against her skin. Now with Natsuki gone from the room, it felt as though the sun had dipped under the horizon, taking her heat source with it. Every inch of her craved the other woman, calling out for just a moment's touch. And it wasn't just her body, she was all too aware of her lover's absence like a gaping hole in her mind, even with her just being at the other side of the wall.

She quickly finished up, her skin had had enough of the repetitive spray now and she wanted to get dried off and into some comfortable clothes. She reached out and turned the dial on the shower to the off position, the stream of water trickling off to nothing. The only sound that remained was the dripping of water from her own body. A chill passed over her skin as the heat of the shower began to dissipate.

She moved over to the bench and picked up the towel, wrapping it around her body and shivering at the draught the motion caused. Deciding it was probably best to get her clothes out of the steamy room, she picked up the pile and walked to the archway. She peeked through and smiled as she saw Natsuki standing at the table in her bra and panties, brushing off her leathers. She patted mercilessly at the protective garment, apparently not allowing one single scuff or fleck of dust to live. Shizuru padded over to her locker and lay her clothes in it, that seeming the most logical place to put them at the moment.

She patted herself dry as best as she could with a damp towel and took a discreet glance at Natsuki. It appeared that she was satisfied with the state of her leathers and had begun to pull them on. She did it with ease as she had so many times before. Her gaze lingered as she watched long, slender legs being pushed into the clinging confines of those clothes. The leather was then pulled up over toned thighs and around a petite waist. Shizuru bit her lip absent-mindedly and looked back towards her locker.

She dropped the towel and heard a slight scuffle come from the table but she kept her focus on her clothes. She put on her underwear, leaving the sports bra in the locker. She didn't need it if she wasn't doing anything strenuous. She ensured she pulled on the maroon lacy material with slow sensuality, sliding the underwear over the skin and into place with practiced hands. She was sure she heard Natsuki choke.  _Ara, so she is watching._

Shizuru then set about pulling on the casual trousers, blouse and cardigan she'd worn here. As she slid into the trousers, she took another peek at her companion. Natsuki had pulled the leathers fully over her body now and one of her hands hovered over the zipper for a moment, her brow furrowed in thought.  _I wonder what could be distracting her,_ she thought with a smirk. She glanced away as emerald peered in her direction and slipped her blouse on, buttoning it slowly. She heard Natsuki's zipper move and she watched as all traces of the smooth flesh of her chest disappeared behind black and red leather. She then bent over and picked up the jacket that had found its way to the floor. Shizuru couldn't help but admire how that one-piece suit hugged her behind ever so tightly.

Grabbing the brush that was in her locker, she ran it through her hair hastily before donning her cardigan. Just as she'd slipped on her shoes, a light tapping at the door came and she glanced at Natsuki, ensuring she was completely covered and there was no danger of her being annoyed that she'd answer the door. A flicker of worry marred her bright eyes so Shizuru gave her a reassuring smile. She closed her locker and walked towards the door.

Turning the lock, she pulled the door open a short way to find one of her students standing there, the one who'd so happily taken her naginata from her earlier. A bright flush filled the young woman's cheeks and her eyes flitted from place to place, not quite settling anywhere for any length of time. Shizuru arched an eyebrow at her, not voicing the question.

"S-sorry for b-bothering you, Sensei, b-but I just w-wanted to see if you needed... any help." The student’s head was lowered, her blonde hair falling her into her face. Shizuru was sure she could hear a growl coming from behind her.

She smiled at the nervous girl. "Not at all, I have all the help I need, ookini."

The student's head shot up and blue eyes glinted apologetically at her. "S-sorry Sensei. It's just you were taking s-so long. I didn't mean to assume."

"Ara, my friend and I must have gotten lost in conversation. I didn't realise so much time had passed." She threw a glance over her shoulder, pleased to see Natsuki quickly looking away to hide her reddening features. "Is Natsuki ready to leave?"

The leather clad biker grunted and ran a hand through her wet, tangled locks. When Shizuru turned back to her student, the young woman was eyeing Natsuki suspiciously.  _Perhaps the damp hair is rather suspect._  She couldn't help but inwardly chuckle. What did this look like? It was quite normal for Shizuru to have a shower after teaching her class but Natsuki hadn't been part of it so she shouldn't have a reason for her to be in there with the naginatajutsu sensei. No wholesome reason anyway.

The sound of Natsuki's boots against the floor alerted her to the approaching woman who then pushed past her and walked through the door, shooting a glare at the newcomer. The student visibly recoiled at that and took a few steps back. "C'mon, Shizuru." Natsuki made sure to pronounce every syllable of her name carefully to let the blonde know who was more important to the sensei here and who was allowed to use her name so casually.

Shizuru merely smiled and grabbed her keys. Was Natsuki jealous? Was she being over protective? Whatever the reason, she decided she liked it. She also slipped through the door and locked it behind her, dropping the keys into her pocket. The student was still hovering, seemingly unsure of what to say now. Shizuru pondered letting her rile up Natsuki more to see if there would be more protective behaviour. She finally decided that would be like feeding an unsuspecting lamb to a hungry wolf.

"I shall see you next week." She smiled again at her student, who nodded and bowed nervously before she shepherded Natsuki from the building.

Once they were outside, the cooler night air hit her skin and a slight breeze picked up wet strands of hair, brushing them against her face. She tucked a few behind her ear, her gaze moving to the rapidly setting sun. They really had lost track of time. Natsuki had walked on ahead and was now standing at her Ducati, hand on hip, waiting for her. Her brow showed irritation but Shizuru could see the intense thought behind that sea of green. She followed the short path that led to the car park and stopped in front of Natsuki.

Her companion reached into the storage compartment of her bike and pulled out a helmet, passing it to Shizuru, her own already dangling from her now gloved fingers. The polished surface of the helmet was a deep purple with a swirling mixture of lighter shades of the same colour. Natsuki had had it made for her when their rides together became a more regular occurrence and she hadn't been able to tell the younger woman how touched she was. However oblivious the biker seemed sometimes, she had an insight that could still surprise Shizuru.

Before Natsuki could pull her own helmet on, Shizuru placed a hand on her arm. "Natsuki seems annoyed, is something wrong?" She smiled gently, which only cause a frown to further crease the other woman's features.

"No," she said curtly, huffing slightly. Shizuru found that expression adorable.

"So Natsuki's behaviour towards my student was normal?" Her smile turned into a smirk now and she couldn't help the teasing tone from slipping out.

Natsuki rolled her eyes, drawing her lips into a thin line. "Idiotic fangirls," was all she said.

Shizuru leaned in further, her smirk widening. "Ara, was it my imagination but did Natsuki's eyes become a little greener?"

Those eyes widened at that question but quickly narrowed. "N-no!" She roughly slid her helmet on and slammed the visor down, effectively hiding her face from Shizuru, who just chuckled at that point. "But don't you get fed up with bumbling girls falling over themselves for the chance to talk to you?" Her muffled voice sounded odd through the helmet.

"Does Natsuki?" she countered, knowing all too well that she had the same problem, albeit it with more of the male side of the species.

Natsuki merely shrugged and slid a leg over the seat of her motorcycle, twisting her torso so she could still look at Shizuru once she was comfortably seated. "Let's go," she said, almost dismissively, and Shizuru complied, pulling her own helmet on now and joining Natsuki on the bike. She slid her arms around the biker's waist and pulled herself in tightly to fit the other woman's form. The leather creaked at the pressure and she felt Natsuki take a quick breath in at the contact. Before she could say anything, Natsuki had turned the ignition and the metallic beast roared into life.

Ensuring Shizuru was comfortable and ready, Natsuki turned her head to look at the other woman, the engine's constant hum the only sound between them. Shizuru nodded at her and she seemed satisfied with that. The biker turned and twisted the accelerator, lurching the vehicle forwards and they soon sped up, tearing out of the car park and onto the main road.

Shizuru could feel her hair whipping about where it flowed from the helmet and the air forced against her skin made her shiver. She wished she'd brought a jacket. She pulled herself further into Natsuki's back, enjoying what little warmth she could feel through the leathers. She could feel her heartbeat though and she wasn't sure if she was just imagining it or it really was that strong. She leaned the front of her helmet against a strong back, sighing as she concentrated on the feel of that pulse. She felt muscles tense beneath her hands for a moment and she thought Natsuki might turn around but she didn't.

She tried to imprint the feeling of this woman in her arms into her memory. Her mind lingered over the events of the day, her senses still attempting to recover from the onslaught. If truth be told, she was completely overwhelmed by what had happened and it was hard to process this new information, let alone look to the future. The feel of Natsuki's skin beneath her fingers was more than she had imagined. It was divine. She could lose herself in that sensation, in the soft murmurs and sighs, in the gasps and shudders, in the searing heat and hitched breaths.

She let her crimson gaze drift to the passing scenery, the buildings passing in a blur of colours, the people merely shadows of who they were. Not that she cared much about anyone else at this point. All that mattered was the person in her arms. She was all that had ever mattered. The sky had darkened to an almost completely orange hue, clouds bathed in the dying light of the sun. Soon, they turned onto a street lined by sakura and Shizuru recognised the buildings. They were close to her home. After graduation, she had moved out of the dorms and had to find herself a real home. Her family paid for a house in this area so she could go to University in Fuuka. She had insisted.

As the motorcycle pulled to a halt, Shizuru cast a glance at her home. It was a decent size, with a small garden that she tended quite often, especially when she was in need of relaxation and time to think. A few rows of pink and yellow flowers peeked out from behind the fence and the path that led to the front door was recently swept. She had done it herself before heading to the club hall. The house itself consisted of only four rooms; bathroom and bedroom on the top floor and kitchen and living room on the ground floor. Her family had thought it rather small but she didn't like to drown in too much space and it was easier to take care of on her own. Not that her family had once taken an interest in coming to see her new home.

Natsuki turned to look at her and she shook her thoughts away. She pulled the helmet from her head and ran a hand through her chestnut locks, pulling the new tugs from them. What now? She wasn't sure what to say or what should happen now. Should she invite Natsuki inside for tea? Surely the other woman needed some form of sustenance by now. But hadn't she taken up enough of her time for today? She'd need time to think things over wouldn't she? To judge if she really wanted what had happened between them or not, right?

She could feel herself frowning and realised too late as Natsuki cocked her head in a questioning gesture. Shizuru quickly replaced the frown with a small smile. "Nothing." She pulled herself off the bike and stood there for a moment, merely looking at Natsuki. The biker removed her helmet, dark strands falling about her face and shoulders. She placed it aside and took Shizuru's as well, packing it away in the storage compartment.

"So..." Natsuki started, seemingly at a loss for words. She looked down at the ground. "I guess this is goodnight?" It was a question, not a statement.

Shizuru was torn. On one hand she wanted so much for Natsuki to come with her and to be able to spend more time with her but on the other, she didn't want to be selfish and she knew she had to give her some space. "I guess so," she muttered, her voice unintentionally solemn. That drew an emerald gaze once more and she quickly smiled at the other woman. "I enjoyed today, Natsuki." That elicited a lovely blush that seeped across the skin of the biker's cheeks.

With that, Shizuru turned and waved, focusing on her house, knowing that if she looked back Natsuki would see the disappointment in her eyes. All she could hear was her own lonely footfalls as she neared her garden. She let out a sigh as she reached for the gate. She pushed it open and strode up to the front door, idly wondering why she hadn't heard the roar of an engine yet.

Just as she was reaching for her pocket to dig out her keys, she felt a soft weight press into her back and she tumbled into the wood of her front door. Just managing to stay upright, she looked down in shock at the girl who had wrapped herself around her waist. "Natsuki..?" she questioned as she turned, allowing her to bury her head into her chest. The other woman was clinging to her fiercely now, her fingernails digging into the muscles at her back. She laid her arms over Natsuki's shoulders, feeling her shake ever so slightly. What was wrong?

"I don't want..." Natsuki mumbled into Shizuru's chest, causing the muscle within it to freeze momentarily.  _I knew it was too good to be..._ "I don't want to go home alone tonight!" Emerald eyes met hers with determination, her voice matching them, cutting off her thoughts. There was a gleam in those eyes, as if she'd decided on something and was sure of her path.

Shizuru opened her mouth to speak but nothing escaped and she found herself floundering for a moment. What could she possibly say to that? Natsuki drew herself up to her full height now, her hands still clinging desperately to the older woman. With some urgency, she pressed her lips against the speechless ones, taking Shizuru completely by surprise. Not only was Natsuki speaking openly of an insecurity, she was also kissing her in the open, where anyone could see. Her mind reeled from it all.

Natsuki pulled back from the kiss, her cheeks flushed. She seemed to be searching Shizuru's eyes for something and she dreaded to think what she'd find there. However, Natsuki smiled and seemed content with what she saw. "Are you going to invite me in or what?" she questioned, an eyebrow raised.

Shizuru, in turn, blushed at her. Since when did Natsuki tease her? This was all getting a bit much. She fumbled in her pocket for a moment and retrieved her keys, quickly unlocking the door and opening it. Before Natsuki could step through though, she grabbed her arm gently. "Natsuki... are you sure about this?"

The raven haired beauty seemed to consider her question for a moment, running a hand through her hair idly. When she looked back at Shizuru, her gaze had hardened with the same resolute determination as before. "For once... yeah." She paused and Shizuru thought that was all she was going to say but then she took a breath in, readying herself. "It feels like all my life I've been confused, you know. Emotion, attachment, affection. It's all very grey." She frowned for a moment, her brow creasing but then her features brightened. "But you helped me see... helped me see that I don't have to over think everything. That sometimes it's better to just feel and be damned with everything else."

Shizuru merely blinked at her for a moment. Then she chuckled, knowing that if she didn't laugh, she'd end up crying. Natsuki looked at her with mild irritation. "Ookini, Natsuki." She took up one of the biker's hands in between her own and traced the skin on the back of her hand with a thumb. "For explaining," she added with a smile. Natsuki gave her a shrug and allowed herself to be pulled into the house.


	3. For Evermore

_Safe_. That was the first thought that struck her as her mind awoke. She wasn't exactly sure where that feeling came from but she was able to identify it immediately. As her senses began to stir she became aware of a comforting warmth enveloping her and a familiar scent. The feeling of cotton beneath her and something soft and smooth against her skin brought her nerves to life and she started to process all this new information. Memories of the previous day flooded her mind and she opened her eyes, blinking away the sleep fuelled haze.

Natsuki found herself staring at something white in colour. Her brow furrowed as she tried to discern what it was. As her brain tried to place the image, she became aware of her positioning and found she was wrapped around something soft and warm.  _Shizuru._ Her mind finally made the connection and she had to forcefully deny the impulse to move away so she didn't wake the sleeping woman. The first frown of the day set into her features as she wondered why she had felt the urge to pull away. She had felt safe, had she not? She guessed habits sometimes took a long time to break.

Now that her muscles were beginning to relax, she felt a sensation of comfort fill her. Her right arm was draped over a slim waist and her legs entangled with both of Shizuru's. The older woman, in turn, was cradling her protectively with both arms, causing Natsuki to burrow into her ample bosom. Not that she was complaining right now. There was nowhere else she'd rather be. She flexed her right hand, allowing her fingertips to brush over the material of Shizuru's robe, bringing back memories of the previous night.

Once they'd entered the house and she'd been given the tour, they'd unanimously voted to get some sleep; the events of the day had tired them both out. Unfortunately, Natsuki didn't have a change of clothes and she wasn't prepared to use the school uniform stored in her motorcycle as nightwear. So she had stripped off her leathers and shyly slipped under the bed sheets in her underwear. Shizuru hadn't helped her nervousness by getting changed in front of her. She'd averted her gaze only to be presented with the enchanting vision of the other woman in a long white night robe, the silky material fitting her curves perfectly. She was pretty sure she wouldn't be sleeping much but, thankfully, she'd been wrong. Once Shizuru was under the covers, Natsuki had rolled over and attempted to block out that arousing image. Perhaps she'd upset her companion with that action but they'd somehow found each other during the night. Natsuki decided she could definitely get used to waking up like this.

She silently let out a yawn and snuggled closer to Shizuru, enjoying the warmth. She felt the other woman's grip instinctively tighten around her and she couldn't help the smile that pushed at her lips. Why had she deprived herself of this feeling for so long? She'd been so adamant in the past that she shouldn't let anyone in, that she couldn't let anyone in. If she'd known it would have felt so good she would have done it a long time ago.  _Who am I kidding? No I wouldn't, I'm too damn stubborn._ But now she had this, she could feel a pleasant heat fill her chest and it made her smile widen.  _What is this I'm feeling?_ Would she ever be able to figure out her emotions? It was incredibly frustrating for her but she put some hope into the fact that Shizuru would help her through this. She had already taught her so much, even if it was in an indirect way.

At that thought, her mind wandered back to the previous day, lingering over the new experiences. She involuntarily blushed at the images that evoked. She would never have imagined herself doing those sorts of things before but it had come so easily to her, as if she was driven by instinct. Perhaps she had been. Thoughts that had made her cringe and squirm awkwardly before now made a heat rise up within her. Shizuru was at the centre of all of those thoughts. She hadn't just awoken her libido it seemed; she had awakened her need for the chestnut haired woman. Some form of primal desire to be close to Shizuru, to be touching her and causing a reaction within her. She mentally shook the images from her mind.  _Bah, I'm getting as bad as her._

Still, she had to admit she'd acted rather impulsively in that club office. She would have thought she'd have run away from that kind of situation, hopped on her motorcycle and gotten as much distance as possible between them both. But she had willingly closed the distance, willingly wrapped her arms around Shizuru, and willingly thrust her fingers... She squeezed her eyes shut, the memories stirring a sensation in the pit of her stomach. So why had she done that? She idly traced circles along the silky fabric of Shizuru's robe as she searched for the answers. She heard a low murmur come from above her but the other woman didn't wake. No satisfying answer presented itself to her so she tried to remember what she'd felt at the time.

She recalled sitting on that table, attempting to recover from what had just happened. Shizuru had disappeared into the shower room and Natsuki was busy trying to make sense of what had occurred between them. She remembered noticing the other woman at her locker, a hint of worry etched into her usually calm features. That had drawn Natsuki out of her self-analysis. Once Shizuru had disappeared back into that alcove she found herself wondering what she'd been thinking. So many thoughts had consumed her.  _Is Shizuru regretting what we did? Is she scared of how I'll act now? How will I act? I don't even know how I feel about it. Was I meant to return the favour? What if I suck at it? Oh. My. God. I'm not a virgin anymore. And she is! Does she not want to allow me to take that from her? Does she want to save herself for some other time? Why am I even thinking this? I wonder what she's doing in there? She's naked right now and..._ Natsuki chuckled softly as she remembered her train of thought. Sometimes she could be such an idiot.

A curiosity had pushed her from that table, her legs having regained some strength since Shizuru had left. She hovered at the edge of that table, still unsure as to what to do. She had looked at the door, pondering leaving but she'd soon discarded that thought. She wouldn't hurt Shizuru, not again. She'd made the decision and she was never one to go back on a promise. Even if it was a silent promise. But could she bring herself to move those steps forwards? To step into that shower room? Thankfully she had. Natsuki smirked at the memory of Shizuru standing leaning against the shower wall. At first she had been frozen with shock, her eyes widening at seeing the other woman in the process of pleasuring herself. And then something raw and primal had swirled deep inside her. She had never felt it before but she knew she had to touch Shizuru then and there or it would never be satiated.

She'd been surprised when Shizuru had stopped and turned the shower on. She noticed her shoulders slump slightly and she had wondered if she was crying.  _No, Shizuru doesn't cry. Only..._ She could feel the sadness and disgust roll off her though. Why did she have to feel like that? It caused guilt to surge within Natsuki and she knew she had to take it away. Take it away before any more damage was done. All feelings of self consciousness and embarrassment were stripped from her as she removed the remainder of her clothing. She felt a weight lift from her, both physically and mentally as she kicked them out of the room. She remembered walking forwards and reaching out a hand to touch Shizuru's back without hesitation. This new found confidence felt good.

Everything after that had happened so fast but it almost felt as though each moment had been captured in an eternity as well. She remembered each detail perfectly, each sound, each smell, each touch. It had been beautiful. She had seen Shizuru for who she truly was. No masks, no pretences, no hiding. She had been laid out before her, her defences shattered, begging to be gazed upon. She had remembered feeling a hint of smugness that she was able to do that to her, to have the power to break the unbreakable. She had gently nurtured that vulnerability, hoping Shizuru knew that is was okay to let her guard down around her. To Shizuru's credit, she had allowed herself to fall completely. There were no attempts to cling onto that mask.  _I see you,_ she had found herself thinking.

Beautiful summed it up nicely, she decided. She was pretty sure she'd find no other sight that was more powerful and stunning than how Shizuru's face had looked in that moment of honesty. She idly wondered if she was as easy to read. She knew Shizuru didn't have much of a problem reading her at the best of times though so she guessed that was probably the case.

Another murmur rose up from Shizuru's throat and Natsuki shifted slightly so she could tilt her head to view the exposed creamy skin of the other woman's neck.  _Tempting._ She pressed her lips against the inviting throat and felt it vibrate against her mouth as a sound passed through it. She heard Shizuru breathe in sharply and she guessed she'd awoken from her deep slumber. The other woman's body moved against Natsuki's slightly as she shifted, bringing her nerves to full attention. She soon found intent crimson studying her.

"Morning," she said quietly, a smile crossing her face.

Shizuru looked down at her sleepily, blinking a few times in an attempt to clear her mind and vision. Natsuki noticed that there was no attempt to bring the mask up yet and she wondered if that was because she'd just woken or if it was because of yesterday. "Good morning," came the groggy Kyoto-ben. "How long have you been awake?"

Natsuki grinned at her, unable to hide the impish expression. "A little while," she admitted, watching in satisfaction as a slight blush coloured Shizuru's cheeks. She could get used to having their roles reversed like this. Now she held a certain power over the usually composed woman.

The blush was gone as soon as it had come though and she noticed those eyes darken a little. For some reason, that worried her a little. "Ara, Natsuki has been watching over me?" The tone was light and playful and it evoked the same reaction in her that Shizuru had experienced moments before.  _Damn her! Lulling me into a false sense of security!_

"N-no!" she blurted out but she instantly snuggled closer to the other woman to take the edge off the harsh response. Shizuru reacted with a small giggle, her mirth causing her chest to rumble against Natsuki's cheek. She felt one of Shizuru's hands roam across her back, gently caressing the exposed skin there inducing a shiver from her. "Did you sleep okay?" she found herself asking to change the subject.

Shifting slightly again, Shizuru rubbed her cheek against the top of Natsuki's head. "Mm, better than okay," she muttered into black strands. The warmth in Natsuki's chest swelled further at her words. She pressed her right palm into the small of Shizuru's back, bringing their bodies closer to one another. She heard the other woman sigh softly. She felt compelled to be closer to her, to touch as much of her as she could. She briefly wondered why that was but the feeling of Shizuru pressing into her quickly cleared her mind of all thoughts.

The white robe had risen up Shizuru's legs and Natsuki's breath hitched at the feel of skin sliding against skin. Shizuru shifted her left leg over Natsuki's hip, her heated thigh brushing over the younger girl's causing her to shudder. The sensations she'd experienced yesterday re-emerged in abundance now, surging from the pit of her stomach. Natsuki allowed her right hand to languidly travel down Shizuru's back and over the silky fabric, trailing lightly across the curve of her behind. Shizuru shivered under her touch and she could hear her breathing pick up a notch. Her fingers continued on their path, nails dragging across the robe, pulling at it slightly as she reached the thigh. She sighed in contentment as she touched flesh, the skin hot and smooth under her fingers.

She hovered there, her fingertips barely meeting the skin beneath them. Shizuru squirmed slightly and she looked down at the younger woman. "Ikezu," she breathed, causing another involuntary shudder to course through Natsuki's body. She looked up at Shizuru, their eyes meeting and she could see the desire swirling within crimson. The intensity of it brought her back to reality and her mind took control of her once more.  _What am I doing?_ She moved her hand again and rested it on Shizuru's hip, pulling her body back a little so she could strain to see the clock on the table beside the bed.

"Crap!" she gasped as she saw the clock blink  _8:16_  at her in its obnoxious digital red. She quickly pushed herself up from her lying position, finding it quite difficult with the other woman wrapped around her. Shizuru didn't show any intention of letting her go either. She looked down at her, her brow furrowed with slight irritation. Shizuru merely stared back at her with an innocent expression, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. Natsuki could see the glint of mischief there.

"What's the matter?" the Kyoto woman asked, ever so sweetly.

"I'm going to be late, that's what the matter is!" Natsuki grumbled, looking pointedly at the clock. Shizuru glanced over her shoulder at it, releasing her grip on the younger woman slightly, but not enough so she could completely break free. She then turned her attention back fully towards Natsuki, one hand sliding against her bare ribs slowly. "Shizuru!" Natsuki squeaked, the caress causing her to squirm away slightly.

"Natsuki is a dutiful student," Shizuru murmured, her eyes now roaming the younger woman's form. Natsuki felt the flush in her cheeks begin to spread to the rest of her body, quickly seeping down her neck and across her breasts.

Deciding drastic action had to be taken, she swatted at Shizuru's shoulder, bringing her focus up to her eyes immediately. "I can't afford to miss it." She couldn't believe she was saying those words. They didn't sound right at all. But she had a pretty good attendance as of late and she didn't want to break that record. The last thing she wanted was to have to repeat a year.

Natsuki only realised she was grimacing when a low giggle emerged from Shizuru. She arched an eyebrow at her companion who disentangled herself in response, retreating to her side of the bed. "Natsuki is too adorable, I cannot deny her anything." The tone was a teasing one but it still caused the heat to rise in Natsuki's face. Immediately missing the warmth of Shizuru's body, she had to fight the urge to cuddle back into her. Instead she pushed the covers back and glanced around the room, trying to remember where she put her leathers.

"I don't have time for a shower," she grumbled absent-mindedly. "And I have no change of clothes." She let out an irritated breath, the thought of leaving the warmth and comfort of the bed irking her. Admittedly, she had her school uniform in her motorcycle's storage compartment but she'd have to wear the underwear she'd had on yesterday. She felt the mattress shift slightly as Shizuru moved and she turned to see what she was doing.

She was surprised to see a slight pink hue to Shizuru's cheeks as she lifted herself into a sitting position, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. She watched as pale, smooth skin disappeared behind white silk as the robe dropped around her legs when she stood. The older woman strode over to a chest of drawers nearby and pulled open the top drawer, rummaging inside for a few moments. Natsuki quirked an eyebrow in curiosity, wondering what Shizuru could possibly be looking for. When the other woman finally turned, producing a small black and lacy pair of panties, she knew exactly what that wiggle of the eyebrows meant.

Natsuki immediately held up her hands and waved them erratically in Shizuru's general direction. "T-there's no n-need for... that!" She insisted, the idea of wearing Shizuru's underwear bringing her blush back in full force.

Shizuru sauntered back towards the bed, gripping the panties in one hand and leaned in towards the embarrassed girl. "I can't have Natsuki feeling uncomfortable all day, now can I?" she asked, the mischief evident in her voice. Natsuki opened her mouth to speak but Shizuru quickly interjected. "Besides, they're part of that collection that I know Natsuki likes."

That new information caused the protest that rose up in her throat to be silenced and her eyes were drawn to the dangling piece of fabric. Shizuru was right.  _Damn her!_ She quickly grabbed the panties and tugged them from their owner's grasp, leaping off the bed as fast as she could. She padded over to the bathroom door. "Fine," she snapped, not daring to look at Shizuru for she knew she'd have that smug smile plastered over her face. As she reached the en suite bathroom, she noticed her leathers in a pile beside it.  _So that's where I left them._ She picked them up before disappearing inside the other room.

Now safely out of Shizuru's line of sight, she allowed herself to relax a little more and her face to return to its usual shade. She gripped the sink with both hands and leaned over it, staring at herself in the small mirror that was at eye level. She looked pretty good for this time of the morning, she had to admit.  _Maybe sleeping next to Shizuru is good for my health._ She had to smirk at the thought. She could just imagine the glee the other woman would have over an excuse like that. She'd never be able to be away from her.  _For health reasons._

Reaching down with one hand, she turned on the hot tap and watched the water flow against the white porcelain. It swirled around the plughole once and disappeared. She could feel her mind drifting again, being pulled into deep thought much like the water disappearing down the drain. She'd never get to school on time if she allowed herself to do that. She cupped her hands and scooped up the warm water, splashing it onto her face. She repeated the action, feeling more and more invigorated with each splash. Once she felt she was suitably wakened, she grabbed the bar of soap sitting next to the taps and lathered it up in her hands. Hastily washing and rinsing herself, she then glanced around for a towel, cursing herself for not locating it before washing.

Luckily there was one hanging on a railing nearby and she dabbed at her face with it. It smelt of Shizuru. She was caught in that position for a moment, her hands holding the towel just in front of her face. She wondered about how it was so easy to recognise one person's scent. How a mixture of odours could be unique to one person and how easy it was to identify them by it. The house smelt of Shizuru too; she'd noticed that when she'd entered it last night. It was a much more diluted scent but it was still recognisable, even if it was perhaps mixed with other smells. She hadn't been living here long either but she had left her mark on it already. Natsuki briefly wondered if the same would be true of her if she lived here but quickly dispelled that notion.

She slipped off her panties and looked with uncertainty at the fresh pair.  _We're sharing clothes already? What does that mean?_ Her brow furrowed as the questions surfaced. She held the clean underwear in both hands and continued to stare at it.  _They are nice though._ Eventually considering herself silly for such foolish thoughts, she pulled the panties on. They'd worn each others' clothing before after all.  _Doing this now doesn't change anything._ She made quick work of donning her leathers next; the action was like second nature to her now and the tightness of the garment provided no problem for her. She zipped herself up and then dumped her underwear into the laundry basket that sat beside the door. She was pretty sure Shizuru wouldn't mind the extra washing.

Opening the door to the bedroom, she was surprised to see the room empty. The sound of china clinking came to Natsuki's ears and she turned her head in the direction of the hall.  _Tea. Of course._ The idea of a hot drink before she went to school was a welcoming one though and she slipped into the hall and padded down the stairs. The steps led onto a narrow hallway and she could see the front door ahead of her. She turned and there were two more doors; one leading to the kitchen, the other to the living room. She wandered into the kitchen, casting a glance back to see her boots sitting beside the front door.

Natsuki paused in the doorway, her gaze drifting over the decent sized room. There were several counters against the walls and Shizuru was in front of one, preparing the tea. Nearby was a refrigerator and a cooker. The room opened up a little and allowed for a small table with two chairs. Other than the sink and a few cupboards there wasn't much else in the kitchen. She let her eyes drift back to the robed woman who was intent on her task. Slightly mussed strands of chestnut fell about her shoulders and down her back, giving her a wilder look than Natsuki was used to seeing. It was something that made the older woman look very appealing though.  _School. Must remember school. Keep focused!_

The slightest movement of silk against equally as smooth skin caught her attention and her eyes travelled the older woman's body as she noticed each of these subtle motions. The light from the kitchen windows fell upon Shizuru, making the robe slightly transparent and outlining her curves perfectly. As she leaned forwards to pour the tea, the front of the robe pooled slightly and the rays of light allowed Natsuki to see the curve of her breasts perfectly. She found herself nibbling on her bottom lip as her stomach lurched slightly with building need. Her brow furrowed, the constant surge of sensations over the past days confusing her.  _Why do I feel like this? Has Shizuru felt this all along? How the hell does she put up with it?_

Apparently sensing her presence, Shizuru had turned to look at her, a tea cup in one hand. Her left eyebrow had headed towards her hairline in a questioning expression and Natsuki quickly freed her lip from her teeth, hoping her thoughts hadn't been too obvious. A gentle smile pulled at the corner of Shizuru's lips and she held out the cup to her companion. Natsuki walked over and gladly took it, focusing on the warmth it radiated out through her palms. She stared into the steaming liquid, hoping the sight would distract her busy mind from its thoughts.

"Natsuki seems pensive. Is something wrong?" Shizuru's calm voice drifted to her ears and she looked up at her, that smile still firmly etched into her features. Her head was tilted to one side slightly and her eyes showed no hint of the doubts that Natsuki was feeling.  _Great, now I feel guilty on top of everything else. What the heck is wrong with me? Why can't I just accept it?_

Realising she hadn't answered Shizuru, she shook her head and forced a weak smile, knowing full well that wouldn't convince the other woman. She sipped at her tea to give her mouth something to do other than frown. Surprised when she didn't receive any more questions, she glanced back up at the other woman. Shizuru had turned away from her slightly, picking up her own tea, but she could still see those bright crimson eyes. They held worry now and Natsuki knew that was her fault.

After taking one last sip from the cup, she placed it back on the counter, glancing at the wall clock as she did so.  _8:38_.  _Great, definitely late now._  Looking back at the other woman, it was obvious Shizuru was still lost in thought. How could she alleviate this? Perhaps it would be good if they got the serious thoughts out of the way now? Still, that slightly hurt expression tugged at Natsuki's heart and she couldn't resist the urge to wrap her arms around the other woman's waist. Shizuru looked at her with barely hidden surprise. Natsuki pulled her into a loose embrace, resting her chin on the other woman's shoulder.

Shizuru relaxed into the hug and brought her own arms up to encircle Natsuki's shoulders. "I'll need to get going now," Natsuki murmured into her neck, chestnut tresses tickling her nose. She felt the other woman nod but she could still sense the lingering concern. Although she knew she needed some time and space to think, to sort things out in her head, she knew she couldn't leave Shizuru hanging either. That really wasn't fair on her, not after all she'd put her through already. Being close to her like this made her feel as though she never wanted to be apart from her. She knew she had to get away for a little while to be able to think clearly and school was the perfect time.  _It's not as if I'll actually be learning anything anyway._ "I'll see you later, 'kay?" she offered, pulling back to see a hopeful glint in those crimson depths.

Shizuru nodded and smiled, her hair dancing around her face as she did so. "How about I meet Natsuki after school? I need to meet with a few members of the administration anyway." At Natsuki's confused expression she elaborated. "To do with university. Apparently, not all the paperwork has been transferred correctly."

Natsuki stepped back out of the embrace and shrugged. "Okay. I guess I'll see you after school then," she said nonchalantly, though inside she couldn't help but feel a little nervous. She turned and walked back into the hall, with Shizuru close behind. She slipped into her boots, awkwardly hopping on one foot and acutely aware of the fact that she had to bend over in her tight leathers. After successfully fastening her boots she straightened, pawing at the hair that had fallen into her face. When she looked back at Shizuru she wore an amused grin. "What?" she barked, irritated at her own self consciousness.

Shizuru shook her head, her eyes widening into an innocent gaze. "Nothing." Natsuki puposely rolled her eyes at the chestnut haired woman before turning and looking for her keys.  _Now where did I put those?_ She absent mindedly patted at her leathers even though they held no pockets. A soft coughing came from behind her and she turned to see Shizuru dangling the keys from a finger in front of her. "Looking for these?" came the sweet sounding question.

Natsuki let out a soft sigh, a question forming on her lips but she knew the answer wouldn't be forthcoming. She couldn't afford to be any later for school than she already was either. She reached out to take the keys but Shizuru pulled them back at the last second, almost causing Natsuki to over balance and tumble into her. "What the..?" she mumbled, annoyance creeping into her voice.

Shizuru continued to grin at the younger woman. "Natsuki must pay the fee," was the only response.

"Fee!?" she asked incredulously, not catching on to what the other woman was after. She stared dumbly at Shizuru for a moment.

"A kiss." The grin had turned into a smirk now and it widened as realisation dawned on the biker. She shuffled uncomfortably for a moment, weighing her choices. On one hand, she could argue and cause herself to be even later; on the other she could give Shizuru what she wanted and risk getting caught up and causing herself to be late anyway. The choices didn't seem very fair to her.

"Fine," she muttered, leaning forward and placing a quick peck on the Kyoto woman's cheek. She pulled back and held out a hand expectantly. Shizuru looked back at her with a slightly disappointed expression, her lips pursing into a pout.  _Ack no, not the pouting!_ "You didn't specify," she said defensively, trying to ignore the power of that expression.

Natsuki braced herself for another bout of merciless teasing but it didn't come. Instead Shizuru released the keys into her outstretched palm and dropped her own arm back to her side, her shoulders slumping ever so slightly. It may have been a small gesture but Natsuki didn't miss it.  _Am I really always so thoughtless?_ She inwardly pondered. She watched as Shizuru moved to the door and unlocked it, pulling it open to let in a wave of fresh air. The scent of morning and cherry blossom washed over her and she closed her eyes briefly to enjoy the moment. The chill of the breeze refreshed her and she smiled a little as she felt a few stray strands of her hair brush across her face. When she opened her eyes she found Shizuru staring at her, crimson eyes baring an intense fondness which almost completely took her breath away.

She recognised that emotion. She'd seen it in those eyes before but it had always been veiled behind a heavy mask. Now, it seemed, Shizuru was allowing her too see everything. That realisation almost staggered her.  _Here I am being all selfish again and she's being completely open with me._ She suppressed the sigh that wanted to push its way from her chest and took a step towards the door. She hovered in the doorway and turned to face the other woman.

"Have a good day at school." Shizuru smiled at her, her tone soft and caring.  _Oh to hell with it, one won't hurt!_ With that thought, she leaned in, bracing herself on the door with one hand. She noticed a mildly surprised expression crossing Shizuru's face as she closed the distance and placed her mouth against the other woman's. The feeling of those velvet lips moving against hers melted all the doubts swirling in her mind and she allowed herself to fall into the haze of Shizuru's scent and warmth. She was vaguely aware that she wasn't leaning against the door any more but was, instead, wrapped in a tight embrace. She murmured into the kiss when she felt the soft probing of Shizuru's tongue. The heat and moistness made her heart stutter and her breath hitch.

Just when Natsuki thought the kiss might deepen further, Shizuru pulled back, her breathing having quickened and deepened considerably. Natsuki couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment but her head soon cleared and she looked up at Shizuru's half smile. She could see the desire within those crimson pools however much the Kyoto woman tried to hide it. She knew her own reflected the image and she pulled back before she had to give in to that need. Being so close to Shizuru was just too intoxicating. She needed to leave.

Clearing her throat, she glanced over her shoulder to see if she'd left anything behind. Deciding that she hadn't, she took a few steps to the side and moved around the door, coming to stand in the doorway once more. She took in a few deep breaths of the crisp air that assaulted her senses. It seemed so much more chilled outside now after the moment she'd shared with Shizuru. Natsuki felt the other woman's presence at her back and that warmth returned to her instantly with the close proximity. She expected arms to slip around her waist but they didn't come. Instead, she felt a soft pressure against the back of her head and she realised Shizuru had placed a kiss there. She felt those lips move and mouth something into raven strands before she backed away.

Natsuki turned slightly and peered over her shoulder at the older woman who merely smiled innocently back at her. She raised a questioning eyebrow but Shizuru offered no explanation of her actions so she stepped outside, her boots landing with a low thud on the path. Her eyes roamed up and down the street and noticed it was deserted. Just the way she liked it. Her bike was still awaiting her return at the road and she couldn't help but feel a certain swell of pride whenever she saw it. It was a beautiful motorcycle. To her, at least.

Natsuki took another step forwards and then took one last glance behind her. Shizuru leant against the doorframe slightly, one hand resting against the opened door, her gaze following the biker unwaveringly. "Later," she called back to Shizuru, a little uncertain now she was walking away. The Kyoto woman raised her free arm and waved, a small smile tugging at her lips. The gesture helped alleviate the worries creeping in around Natsuki's mind and she quickened her step, nodding once to the other woman before focusing her attention on her vehicle.

As she opened up the storage compartment of the motorcycle she heard the click of Shizuru's front door closing. She pulled her helmet out from its home and slipped it on over her head, the familiarity comforting her. She then closed the compartment and slid her leg over the body of the Ducati, slipping into her usual sitting position. She slipped the keys into the ignition and turned, firing the beast up and bringing it to life. The motorcycle hummed between her legs and the sensation soothed her. She always felt so much calmer and in control when she was on her bike. With one last glance at the house, she pulled away, knowing that Shizuru was still watching her from behind the living room curtain.  _Always so protective._ That thought didn't make her feel uncomfortable though.

She turned into the first corner, her body instinctively shifting to keep balance on the motorcycle. It was second nature to her now, after all the years of riding and she could quite easily drift off into deep thought whilst on her Ducati. In fact, she often did her best thinking when she was traversing long winding roads and speeding around bends. Once she'd found her way to the main road she increased her speed, hoping to cross the distance to school in as short a time as possible. She knew Shizuru would hate her taking such risks but she didn't have much choice if she wanted to minimise the damage to her record. Besides, Shizuru had been the main cause so she couldn't complain about it if she found out.

That thought made all those doubts she'd been trying to hold at bay come flooding back to her now. It seemed the further she got away from the other woman, the deeper the worries wormed their way into her, making it impossible not to face them. Her grip tightened on the handlebars of the Ducati as she tried to pinpoint the one reason for all her uncertainty. Yesterday had felt so good. So why couldn't she just accept it all and be happy?  _Trust? Do I have a trust issue with Shizuru?_ She clenched her jaw as she sped through a junction, ignoring the blaring horns of angry drivers.  _She did steal that kiss from me, after all._ Her memory lingered over those events. She had forgiven her for that though, hadn't she? She shook her head.  _No. That's not it. Besides, it's only fair, isn't it? I stole her heart long before then._ As the thoughts passed through her mind, she realised, without a doubt, that she did trust Shizuru. She knew the other woman wouldn't do anything to hurt her. Not intentionally.

Seeing the lights ahead flicker to red she had to brake abruptly, almost throwing herself over the handlebars of her motorcycle. Her body protested the sudden deceleration but she managed to keep herself firmly rooted in place. She let out a haggard breath as the smell of burnt rubber reached her nose.  _Damn it!_ Her thoughts were going to get her seriously hurt if she wasn't careful. Normally, they didn't affect her riding but, perhaps, this subject was too sensitive. She waited impatiently for the light to change, watching with irritation as people meandered over the crossing. What was so special about their lives that they could afford to move so slowly anyway?

As the lights threatened to change to green, she revved the engine of her Ducati, scaring several pedestrian stragglers.  _Move it!_ She inwardly growled. Once the crossing was clear, she accelerated abruptly, forcing the front wheel of her bike from the road for a few moments. The engine roared as she directed the vehicle to faster speeds, weaving in between the clumsier cars with ease.  _If not trust, then what?_ The question echoed in her mind and her nostrils flared with frustration when the answer didn't come to her immediately.  _Why can't anything come easily to me? Is it too much to ask to want to be happy for once?_

The streets blurred past, the speed and her distraction causing them to all look alike. She looked up at the road signs from time to time to ensure she was still going the correct way. She briefly considered skipping school altogether and taking the day to just think things through. Perhaps she could take a nice ride out to some isolated location and retreat within herself? Would that help her find the answers she seeked? She frowned behind the cover of the helmet, knowing that she couldn't shirk off her responsibilities like that. She didn't have revenge as an excuse any more.

_Maybe that's the problem,_ she found herself thinking.  _I can't ignore everything anymore. I don't have my mother as my one focus in life. I guess that means I actually have to look at my own life now._ She sighed, reducing her speed as she came into another residential zone.  _And whether I like it or not Shizuru's a part of that now._ A small smile caused her lips to twitch upwards. She realised she did like the thought of that but there was something else there, something that made her want to run away and escape it all.  _I'm not alone. I'm not alone anymore._

She was brought out of her thoughts abruptly as she noticed a familiar wooded area and had to veer suddenly before she missed the entrance. She was now going too fast though and the tires ground against twigs and leaves, causing bits of debris to fly up dangerously around Natsuki. She pulled on the brakes and slowed down to a reasonable pace, hoping she hadn't damaged her suspension. That would have been an expensive and stupid mistake to make. She brought the Ducati to a halt at her usual spot, hidden well enough between the trees as to not draw attention from nosy Fuuka students.

As she pulled off her helmet, she noticed her hands were shaking. She stared at them incredulously, stunned at how they had the audacity to tremble. She placed the helmet on top of the motorcycle, between her legs and wondered what had caused that reaction.  _The bumpy ride couldn't possibly have..._ And then it hit her. Fear.  _I'm afraid? I..._ She wasn't scared of any physical harm coming to her though. It was her thoughts that had stirred that emotion in her.  _Is that what's holding me back? I'm such a coward,_ she thought glumly, casting her gaze to the ground.  _Shizuru's done the most courageous thing possible by showing her true self to me and this is all I can do?_

It was definitely fear. Fear of giving herself so completely to someone that she had no control over her own emotions, fear of allowing someone in, fear of being so close that she wouldn't be able to live without them. So much fear. She squeezed her eyes shut, attempting to force the thoughts away. Now that she had the answer to her question she wished her mind would shut up. She wasn't used to being scared of anything and the fact that it had anything to do with Shizuru made it worse. Shizuru was the one thing in her life that she shouldn't associate with fear.

She shook her head, feeling her hair brush against her face as she did so. She needed to get to school for now. At least she had made some progress with her doubts.  _I should speak to Shizuru about this. It's not fair to keep her out of the loop._ That decision made, she lifted herself from the Ducati and set about getting changed. Her uniform was a little crumpled but she didn't mind too much, she was never concerned about giving a perfect impression to her teachers and fellow students. She glanced around to ensure she was really alone and quickly slipped out of her leathers and into the familiar clothing. She smoothed out the fabric and locked her leathers and helmet away in the storage compartment, pocketing the keys once she was done.

Natsuki quickly marched towards the school building, hoping she wasn't too late. She couldn't see many students around so she assumed she probably was. Her expression becoming more severe as she walked onwards, she didn't notice someone jogging towards her until a voice called out. She didn't catch what was being said but she turned in the direction the noise had come from and was surprised to see an easily recognisable face.

"Mai?" She questioned, her usual icy tones replaced by surprise.

The redhead smiled warmly and stopped in front of her. "Where have you been?" She asked, worry clouding her voice.

Natsuki raised an eyebrow at the question. It wasn't as if she'd disappeared for days, she'd only been gone for one night. That thought brought an involuntary blush to her cheeks and she quickly looked away in an attempt to hide it.  _Gah, why did my mind have to go there!_ "I don't know what you mean." She said quickly, hoping Mai would drop it.

"Natsuki... Are you blushing!?" The other girl asked incredulously.

The biker felt her eye twitch slightly.  _I don't need this right now,_ she sighed. "No," she stated firmly but with less agitation than normally accompanied such a reply.

This caused Mai to falter for a moment and she eyed her classmate suspiciously. "Well, you weren't in class so I excused myself to come look for you," she explained, drawing Natsuki's attention once more. "It's not like you. Well, it was like you but not anymore... You know what I mean," she ended with a smirk and Natsuki couldn't help but return it with a small smile.

"I just..." She paused, wondering what she could actually get away with telling her friend. Certainly not the truth, by any means. "Slept in," she decided on saying. It wasn't really a lie, after all.

Natsuki shrugged and moved to walk past the other girl but Mai held out an arm to stop her. "Did you forget? You were meant to come around for dinner last night," she asked with a hint of disappointment.

_Crap._ Now she was in trouble. She had completely forgotten, with good reason, but it wasn't a reason she could tell Mai about.  _Sorry Mai, I was too busy having my mind blown by 'Kaichou-san' to be able to come stuff my face with you and Mikoto. Yeah, that would go down well,_ she inwardly grimaced at the mental image. At Mai's strange expression she realised another flush had overcome her and she inwardly cursed herself. That blush had been her own fault. "I'm sorry," she muttered before walking away uncomfortably.

She heard the patter of Mai's feet against the path and she could tell she was running to catch up with her. "Did I just hear you right?" came Mai's almost breathless voice. She guessed the surprise had knocked the wind out of her. She almost laughed at that thought. "Did Natsuki just apologise?"

She rolled her eyes even though the redhead couldn't see the gesture. "Don't mock me," she warned grumpily.

Natsuki felt a pressure on her arm and she was forced to stop as Mai tugged her backwards. She turned to face her friend, her brow furrowing in irritation. "What happened to you?" The seriousness of the question caught her unawares and she merely blinked back at her friend.

_What did happen to me?_ She found herself thinking and she tilted her head so she could look up at the sky. The clouds had parted to allow the sun to shine its magnificence upon the island of Fuuka. The school was bathed in its warmth and she allowed it to flood across her already heated face.  _I feel... warm. Inside._  The sensation spread from its home in her chest and filled her with something that made her feel lighter. She was sure if she moved forwards, her steps wouldn't be as heavy. She was unintentionally smiling now but she couldn't bring herself to care much about it. She wanted to indulge this feeling, if just for a little longer.

"Natsuki!" Mai's exclamation brought her serenity crashing down around her and she looked at her friend with a stunned expression. "What the... heck!?" The abrasive question only proved to further confuse Natsuki and her lips thinned as she tried to discern what the redhead was talking about.

"What?" she finally managed to ask.

"You... you... look all happy!" Mai was now waving her hands about in front of her to emphasise her point.

Natsuki desperately wanted to give the hyped up girl a glare but her muscles refused to heed her wishes and her reddened cheeks would have taken the power out of it anyway. The smile refused to leave so she again turned away, walking as fast as she could to her class.  _I was right, it does feel lighter,_ she thought. She hoped Mai wouldn't question her further on this, she could just imagine the thoughts going through her mind right now. She probably thought she'd been on a date or something.  _She wouldn't be totally wrong, I guess._

"Natsuki..." She heard Mai call out to her but kept on her current path. She wondered how long she could go without having to tell her friend something. She didn't take Mai for an idiot, she was sure to pick up on something sooner or later. The fact that she'd spotted something was out of place with her today was proof of that. She wouldn't be able to avoid her so chances were pretty high that she'd see her with Shizuru, and she was pretty sure she'd give their relationship away then. Shizuru had a way of making her react in ways she didn't want to.  _Relationship? Did I just think that? What is our relationship?_ There she was thinking those uncertain things again.  _I really need to stop that._

She soon found herself in front of the school's main entrance and she had to slow her pace so she could open the door and slip through it. This gave Mai ample opportunity to catch up and continue speaking to her. Before she could open up with another barrage of troublesome questions, Natsuki turned to her, causing both of them to stop in the middle of the hall. "Look, can we just get to class and forget about this for now?"

That made Mai pause and she glanced up and down the hall. When she looked back at Natsuki she wore a concerned frown. "So there's something to forget about?"

Natsuki let out a frustrated sigh. "Your logic is annoying, Mai."

The redhead let out a small chuckle and gave her friend a smile. "Fine, fine. But don't think I'll drop this for long. I want all the juicy details later!" She punctuated her sentence with a wide grin and a wiggle of her eyebrows.

In response, Natsuki rolled her eyes. "Don't make it sound so sordid." She continued on her way to her classroom, ignoring the giggles from behind her. "Come on."

The day rolled past painfully slowly and Natsuki found her mind drifting off all too often during the course of her classes. It seemed all paths led back to Shizuru and she'd often been broken from a complex chain of thoughts about the Kyoto woman by an annoyed teacher. More embarrassing was when her memory involuntarily lingered over the previous day's events and she'd find herself being gawked at by an all too interested class. What was the point in blushing anyway? It didn't serve any real purpose, she decided.

Natsuki stretched in her seat and watched as her classmates filed out of the room. At last, the final bell had rung out and they were free to do as they pleased. A fluttering sensation rose up in her stomach as she thought about meeting Shizuru.  _Am I excited? I'd better not tell her that, she'd never let me live that one down._ She felt a little apprehensive about it as well but she really wanted to see Shizuru. She missed the way that her company had made her feel. The day apart had given her time to cool off and think clearly but it had made her feel as though something was missing too. That concerned her a little.  _Have I become so dependent already? Maybe this is normal if I..._

A gentle coughing brought her attention back to the classroom and she looked up to see her teacher politely trying to hint for her to leave. She narrowed her eyes slightly at her, causing the middle-aged woman to shuffle uncomfortably at the doorway. She was pretty sure she was coming to an important realisation there and the History teacher had ruined it.  _Ah well, it can wait._ She stood and collected her belongings, throwing them carelessly into her bag. She strode over to the door, without giving the woman another look, and out into the hall.

Making her way past groups of students who were busy gossiping, Natsuki wondered where she was supposed to meet Shizuru. They had never actually agreed upon a place or a time. She frowned.  _This is just great. How could I forget to ask that?_ She briefly pondered returning to her motorcycle and waiting there as Shizuru knew that was where she parked it.  _Wait, she said she had to meet with some administration people so I guess she'll be at the school office._ With a destination now in mind, she moved forward with greater purpose.

Although she was now used to the admiring glances and stares she received from her school mates, today they seemed to annoy her more than usual. She seemed acutely aware of the leers the boys threw her way and the suggestive jokes they thought she couldn't hear. As the anger bubbled up inside her she started shooting glares at each of them as she passed them by.  _This belongs to Shizuru dammit!_ She froze. Was that really what was bothering her? Her irate mind had just thrown out that statement but she had no idea where it had come from.  _Do... I... really..?_ She shook her head, determined not to over think it.

She soon found herself at the administrative office of the school and she knocked firmly on the door. After a few moments it was opened and a fairly young looking man in a suit peered out at her. "Yes? Can I help you?"

Natsuki regarded him for a moment before answering. "Yeah, I'm looking for Shi- Fujino Shizuru. She here?"

He stared back at her from behind thin rimmed glasses. "Oh yes, Fujino-san was here but I'm afraid you just missed her," he said apologetically.

She frowned. "Okay. Thanks." She shrugged and turned to leave.

"She said she was going to have a quick look around to see how the repairs had come along though," he called after her, causing her to stop and face him once more.

Shizuru had graduated whilst the repairs on the school were taking place so she hadn't seen the finished result. She'd been far too busy with arranging University and her new classes to come visit the school. "Thanks," she muttered and walked away.  _Where would she go?_ She wondered. Then it struck her; she knew exactly where she'd go. Shizuru could be as much a creature of habit as she was.

She quickened her pace and navigated the long corridors of the school, her feet taking her on a familiar route, one she had walked many times over the years. It felt somewhat nostalgic walking it again, as if she'd gone back in time and she could almost fool herself into believing that she'd find that same girl behind that door. But she'd be lying to herself. Shizuru had changed as had she. Or perhaps she hadn't changed but now Natsuki knew the true Shizuru, not the one that hid behind smiles and friendships. She was glad of it though.

Now she stood in front of that door, uncertainty gnawing at her. Her hand hovered above the door knob and she irrationally feared what she might find on the other side.  _I'm just being stupid, she's probably not even here._  She knew this room was being used as a regular office now and not the Student Council room it once had been. She wasn't sure who used it as an office though. She swallowed her doubts and twisted the handle, opening the door slowly and silently.

She paused in the doorway, the sight before her causing her heart to skip a few beats. It was uncannily familiar to one she had seen so many times before. The layout of the room had been kept largely the same, the damage to the structure repaired as if it had never happened. The tables were set out in much the same way. The biggest change was the high back leather chair that sat behind the desk at the top of the room.  _Shizuru's desk._ The occupant of that chair was what drew her attention though. There sat Shizuru, hands clasped in front of her, elbows resting on the tabletop, eyes closed. She seemed to be in deep thought and the breeze from the open window caused stray strands of chestnut to flutter across her peaceful features.

She was the epitome of calm. The only thing that broke the illusion of the past coming back to haunt her was the clothing Shizuru was wearing. She wore a dark blue business suit with a white blouse.  _Just like her to show up in a suit for a silly meeting,_ she inwardly snorted. It did fit her curves nicely though and she regretted not giving that man back at administration more of a hard time.  _I just bet he had a nice view,_ she thought bitterly.

The nostalgia didn't leave her as she quietly closed the door behind her and walked over to the table. She was surprised Shizuru hadn't reacted to her presence yet but perhaps she was lost in thought and memories. The room had a similar effect on Natsuki after all. She slid onto the desk, much like she had done in the past, her back facing the Kyoto woman. She twisted slightly so she could peer down at her, eyes drifting over the spot that should have held the laptop.

Crimson appeared from behind fluttering eyelids and Shizuru looked up in surprise from the slight movement in the table. The calm expression faltered and her eyes clouded with a mixture of emotions. Natsuki could see the pain there that she'd hoped to have dispelled forever and it stung at her chest. She could also see that one constant that always remained in those pools.  _Love._ It always made her feel warm whenever she saw it and now she could identify it she felt almost overwhelmed.  _Can she see the same in my eyes?_

"Hey," she whispered, a smile tugging at one corner of her mouth as she leaned back on one hand, allowing her dark hair to spill over her left shoulder.

Shizuru returned the smile and lifted her chin from her hands a little. "Natsuki found me," she stated simply, her voice soft and hushed.

Natsuki nodded. "Just returning the favour." She wanted to chuckle at the confusion that washed over the older woman's features. Natsuki was able to talk in layers as well, she just chose not to most of the time.  _I'm not going to elaborate though; she doesn't need to know everything yet._ "Nothing," she continued when the expression didn't budge.

One curved eyebrow arched further upwards and Shizuru gave her a bemused smile before unclasping her hands and resting her palms on the table. "How was Natsuki's day?" she asked, relenting to Natsuki's stubbornness at not wanting to explain herself.

Emerald eyes dropped away from Shizuru's at the question, guilt edging into them. She felt bad for withholding the doubts she'd been having from the other woman but she'd hardly understood them herself so how could she be expected to explain them to another person? She had some semblance of an answer now but that didn't mean it'd be any easier to talk about it. "Oh, you know... the usual," she muttered, her voice dropping even lower.

If Shizuru picked up on her change of mood she didn't outwardly show it. Instead, the smile remained and she rested her fingers over Natsuki's left hand. The biker stared down at where their hands touched, a tingling sensation spreading across her skin there. She took in a deep breath, feeling somewhat relieved but she didn't know why. Perhaps it was because they were together again. She looked back up at the elegant contours of Shizuru's face, noticing her crimson gaze had lowered. She followed it and her cheeks flushed when she realised Shizuru was staring at her exposed thigh.

"O-oi!" Her raspy voice brought Shizuru's eyes back to hers. "I'm up here," she growled, a hint of amusement blending with the embarrassed tone. Shizuru smirked at her sheepishly.

"Kanin na," she murmured, her tone dropping a little. "It's easy to forget this isn't... back then." She motioned to the rest of the room with her free hand.

Natsuki nodded, knowing exactly what the other woman meant. "That's no reason for you to..." She looked away from Shizuru's curious eyes. "You know."

A low chuckle rose from the Kyoto woman which only caused her to blush further. "That is not what I meant." She squeezed Natsuki's hand reassuringly. "Natsuki is simply very alluring. It can't be helped."

Natsuki's eyes widened slightly at the comment and her head snapped around to stare at the other woman. "Sh-Shizu..." She stopped abruptly at seeing the mischievous grin. She fell into it every time and she knew she would continue to. She huffed indignantly and decided to change the subject. "Why are you here anyway?" she asked a little grumpily.

A gentle thumb pad brushed across the back of her hand causing a little shiver to creep down her spine. "I felt like indulging my melancholy, you could say."

Natsuki's brow furrowed at her words. She intensely disliked the idea of Shizuru feeling sad in any way. She leant back a little more, bringing her left knee up onto the table and twisting her body further so she could get closer to the other woman. "I'd rather you didn't," she said sincerely.

Shizuru gave her a lopsided smile and tilted her head a little. "This room holds many pleasant memories though, Natsuki. It's nice to remember those."

"I guess." Even though they'd spent quite a bit of time together here in this room it was mostly under false pretences, on both of their parts. She'd usually come here in search of information and Shizuru had always pretended to seek nothing more than familiarity. Her emerald eyes hardened with determination and she hopped off the desk, Shizuru's gaze following her. She walked around the desk and leant against it at the older woman's side, right beside her chair. She looked deep into those crimson orbs. "Let's make some new memories. Better ones?" Her low voice was unwavering and it shocked even herself.

Shizuru's eyes widened perceptibly and her lips parted slightly in surprise. She clasped her hands back in front of her and peered up at the raven-haired beauty for a while. Finally, she broke the silence. "What brought this on?"

_Damn her perceptiveness! Why can't she just accept what I say?_ Natsuki let out a small sigh, resigned to the fact that she'd need to speak her mind sooner or later. "I've been thinking..." she started, ensuring Shizuru was looking at her. "Just, you know, about us... and stuff."  _That was lame._

"Oh?" came the patient reply.

Natsuki shrugged. Why was this so hard? "Yeah. You know how I am. I over think," she grunted but Shizuru merely smiled back at her. "I... I hate not... not knowing how I feel all the time." She tried to explain and had realised it hadn't come out particularly well when Shizuru's smile dropped a little. "N-no... I, uh..."  _Damn it!_

"It's alright. Natsuki does not need to explain." Shizuru said soothingly though there was the slightest hint of a quiver in her voice.

"No, I do!" Natsuki insisted. "I've left you in the dark long enough." Shizuru's lips moved slightly and she thought she might protest but she remained silent. Natsuki wondered if she'd caught her off guard. "I'm not good at this kind of stuff, as you know, but I'll try." She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them once more. "I'm scared. Really scared. I've never been this close to anyone and that frightens the hell outta me."  _There. I've said it._  "And that doesn't mean I don't trust you, Shizuru, because I do. Utterly and completely. I just... well, I guess I can't explain it. It must be one of those irrational fears," she babbled on but a hand on her knee made her pause and her gaze dropped down to those slender fingers.

"I understand." Shizuru's melodious voice calmed her completely and she breathed a sigh of relief. "We can take this slow if Natsuki wishes it. I will back off if I must."

Natsuki found herself drowning under that intense crimson gaze, the compassion there was both soothing and painful to see.  _Can't you just ask for what you want for a change? I'm not good at guessing what that is._ "N-no. I don't want that. I mean, I wish you'd just tell me what you wanted, you know. Stop trying to think about me all the time."

The hand on her knee slid ever so slowly up her leg to her thigh where the muscles beneath it tensed. "I want you." Shizuru's gaze darkened as she spoke but it was even and Natsuki had never been so certain she was telling the truth. "That's all I've ever wanted."

The biker chewed on her lower lip as a fresh blush rushed to her cheeks. She hadn't expected Shizuru to be so direct with her; she was used to her being evasive. She was even more surprised to see that rare hue of pink that coloured the other woman's face.  _She's taking that chance again, risking it all to be honest with me. I owe her the same._ Natsuki leaned down, somewhat awkwardly with the height she had over the Kyoto woman, and brought her face close to Shizuru's. Ignoring the surprise that registered in crimson orbs, she pressed her lips against the other woman's gently.

Fingers dug into the skin of her thigh as Shizuru returned the kiss, soft shaking lips moving slowly. As their mouths slid against one another's, Natsuki felt herself sigh. It gave her that same euphoric sensation she'd experienced before and she felt it unrestrained now that she'd been able to face her doubts a little. Natsuki opened her mouth and her tongue swept out across those full trembling lips, eliciting a restricted gasp from Shizuru. She could feel the emotion simmering within the other woman now, she could taste it along with the sweetness of her lips.

As her tongue lightly touched Shizuru's, she felt a tingling awaken her nerves. Her hands itched just under the skin and she knew she had to feel the heat of the other woman's skin or it would never be alleviated. Pangs of desire swirled in the pit of her stomach, fanning the fluttering that had slowly built up there. In the next moment, she felt strong, protective arms around her and she was pulled from the table and into a tight embrace, their bodies crushed together. She moaned into the kiss at the feeling of Shizuru pressed into her.

_But why is she shaking?_ She realised every inch of the Kyoto woman trembled beneath her and she pulled back from the kiss breathlessly. Her brow furrowed in concern when she saw Shizuru's watery eyes and open expression. She had never seemed so vulnerable before. It was then Natsuki realised Shizuru was as much caged by her own emotions as she was, both of them having built up their personal prisons over time. A tightness in her chest gripped her and she felt as though she had to say something now before the moment passed, before this awareness was lost forever.

"I give myself completely to you, Shizuru. Whether I crumble or find freedom, only you have the power to decide that," she almost whispered, her hands moving up over the other woman's shoulders and into the hair at the back of her head. Tears spilled unbidden past the dam that had held them in place for so long and dark crimson disappeared for a moment behind long lashes as Shizuru tried to regain her composure. Natsuki took the opportunity to pull her into a fierce hug, coaxing the older woman's head into the safety of her neck.

She heard a soft sob escape the other woman's lips and felt the vibration of it against the sensitive skin of her neck. She stroked the silky tresses beneath her fingers soothingly, finding the gesture came naturally to her even if she hadn't been used to these kinds of situations. "Na... tsu..." The disjointed sounds caused the biker to release the tight hold she had on Shizuru and the other woman pulled back a little so she could look at her. "I..."

"Shh," Natsuki soothed. "It's okay. You don't need to say anything." She found herself smiling and it seemed to ease Shizuru's tears.

"Oh, Natsuki," Shizuru murmured, her expression filled with such overwhelmingly raw emotion that the biker had to take a quick intake of breath to stop her head from spinning. "I love you so very much... so much..." Her grip tightened on Natsuki as she spoke, almost painfully so. Her stomach did a quick flip as she heard those words and that swelling sensation in her chest returned.

And then they were kissing again, all the emotion and passion from the previous moments causing their lips to move with heated fervour. Her hands dropped from their home in Shizuru's hair and roamed her curves, attempting to find a way around the barriers to her skin. Teeth grazed her bottom lip and she let out a surprised exhale of air when they bit down playfully. Shizuru's fingers found their way quickly under her top and trailed fire across the muscles of her back. Natsuki whimpered at the light caresses, her own hands fumbling with the suit jacket's buttons.

She pulled back from the kiss, her chest rising and falling with great speed. She glared down at the buttons of the jacket, wondering what idiot had designed them to be so resistant to her manipulation. She glanced back up at Shizuru's face, noting how dilated her pupils were. She decided she'd never grow tired of seeing the reaction she could cause in the other woman. The passion fuelled haze lifted from her for a moment and she remembered where they both were. Feeling another blush rise up within her she glanced at the door. It was still closed.

Natsuki's attention was brought back to Shizuru when she noticed her shifting in the chair. She lifted herself off the other woman, dropping down to kneel on the floor. Shizuru pulled something from her jacket pocket and pushed the chair back before standing. Natsuki looked up at her and she couldn't hide the disappointment in her expression. Shizuru smirked back at her and dangled something from her forefinger, metal catching in the light from the window.

"If I know the school administration like I think I do, they won’t have offered up the expenses to change the locks," Shizuru explained as she took the set of keys to the door. Natsuki's confusion cleared when the Kyoto woman slipped a key into the door and locked it with a click. Shizuru turned and leaned against the cool wood for a moment, the smirk still present. "There we go. No interruptions."

Heat rose up inside Natsuki and not just from the blush the other woman's words caused. She watched intently as Shizuru sashayed back towards her, eyes lingering over long toned legs and swaying hips.  _How can she look so... so... sexy without even trying!_ She inwardly wondered. Natsuki realised her mouth was hanging open slightly so she quickly snapped it shut and tilted her head backwards to look up into the face of her companion. The smirk had dropped from her elegant features and Shizuru peered back at her, hunger burning behind crimson orbs. The intensity of it caused her to swallow, hard. Eyes never leaving her, Shizuru offered her a hand which she immediately took without thought. She was pulled up and led to the leather chair before being gently nudged into it. It was soft and comfortable, more than it looked.

The older woman kneeled down in front of her, pushing her body in between Natsuki's legs, hands snaking around her waist. Her cheeks flushed at the intimate position. "Sh-Shizuru... your knees. They'll get..." She stopped herself from saying anything further.  _Your knees? That sounded so dumb. Well done, Natsuki!_

Shizuru smiled up at the biker. "Don't worry about me. I'm content with where I am." With that said, she pulled on Natsuki's waist, effectively sliding her forward in the seat and closer to the other woman. Their mouths met once more in a heated kiss. Natsuki parted Shizuru's lips with her tongue and slowly caressed the sweetness within. The older woman willingly allowed her to explore unhindered for a while, hands slipping under her school uniform to their previous position at her back. When Shizuru's tongue pressed back against hers, Natsuki whimpered into her mouth and grasped at the stubborn suit jacket once more.

Now that she wasn't pressed so close against the other woman's body she could get to grips with the buttons more easily. She popped them out of the holes and smiled smugly as the jacket sprung open. Shizuru pulled back and cocked an eyebrow at the satisfied expression awaiting her. Choosing to ignore the questioning look, Natsuki slid the jacket off of Shizuru's shoulders and watched it crumple to the ground. The white blouse beneath it clung nicely to the older woman's torso and Natsuki could make out her curves perfectly. That didn't stop her from hastily going to work on the blouse's buttons though.

Shizuru glanced down at the hands at her chest and back up to their owner, an amused glint in her eyes. She seemed a little surprised at Natsuki's avidity. Once the biker had completely unbuttoned the item of clothing, she let it hang open, revealing a sliver of creamy flesh and a white bra. When she peered back at Shizuru's face, she caught the amused expression. Giving her a lopsided grin, she muttered, "Once I decide on something, I'm not one to go into it half-assed."

A throaty chuckle erupted from Shizuru at her words and she couldn't help but blush. "Natsuki is so cute," she managed after her mirth had died down. Natsuki squirmed in the chair a little but didn't pull away. Just as she was about to voice a protest Shizuru captured her lips, effectively silencing her. The kiss turned from slow and teasing to heated and needy quickly. The taste of the older woman caused a surge of desire to shoot down to the pit of her stomach and she felt a low growl rise up in the back of her throat. She wrapped her arms around Shizuru's shoulders and pulled her body against her roughly.

She heard Shizuru gasp into her mouth and felt hot breath against her lips. Gentle hands slid over the muscles of Natsuki's back and around her waist, tickling her ribs slightly with their light caress. They continued their journey, pausing to explore her toned stomach before moving up to the swell of her breasts. Her body stiffened when those fingers found the peak of her breasts and she broke the kiss to let out a low moan. She pushed back into the chair when her top was shoved upwards and moist lips ducked down to press against her heated flesh.

Shizuru placed light kisses along her abdomen and up to the valley of her breasts. Natsuki's breathing quickened in anticipation, her mind succumbing to the fog of desire. The older woman didn't move to unclasp the bra but, instead, pushed the obstruction up with the top, releasing the pert breasts. She descended upon one quickly, her lips encasing a pink bud eagerly. A small whimper escaped Natsuki's lips as a hot, wet tongue flicked against her nipple, a shock of pleasure shooting down to her groin. Shizuru's left hand attended to the other breast, cupping it in her palm whilst her free hand travelled south.

Natsuki's back arched into Shizuru's touch, the assault on her breasts causing her breath to hitch and the fluttering in her stomach to increase. She began to pant as she became aware of teasing fingers trailing down her left thigh, nails dragging against the skin there. Shizuru's left hand dropped down to the opposite thigh and started to knead the well formed muscle. She whimpered as the older woman's tongue switched to the other nipple, tracing a path around it and finally flicking the tip of it repeatedly.  _Oh god._ Those hands were torturously dipping near to her groin before veering away to stroke her outer thighs again, causing her to writhe beneath their touch. A thin layer of perspiration had formed on her upper lip and she could feel a trickle of sweat travel down her back.

She laced her own fingers into chestnut strands, pressing her breast further into Shizuru's mouth. In turn, the older woman grazed her teeth against the sensitive nub, earning a gasp from Natsuki. Dextrous fingers slid up quaking thighs towards Natsuki's hips and hooked onto the black fabric there. She tugged on the panties and Natsuki assisted her by lifting her pelvis somewhat weakly. The underwear was soon discarded and the hands returned to their place on the biker's thighs.

Shizuru pulled back from the breast she was attending and looked up at Natsuki, her lips swollen from her task. The younger woman licked her lips idly as she stared back expectantly, her chest heaving from excitement. Shizuru's gaze dropped to Natsuki's skirt and she used both hands to push the fabric up to reveal a shock of dark hair. The flush in her cheeks darkened and she was sure Shizuru's cheeks reddened as well. It wasn't until the other woman's head lowered that she realised what her intention actually was. Her hands still in her hair, Natsuki tightened her grip around chestnut locks to keep Shizuru in place. "W-wait!" she sputtered, nerves settling in.

The Kyoto woman looked back up, her brow slightly furrowed, her eyes almost pleading with her. "I want to taste you. Please... Can I?"

Natsuki felt her face burn uncomfortably hot, her cheeks an unhealthy shade of reddish purple.  _How can she just say things like that!_ But there was something in her voice that she couldn't deny so she just closed her eyes and pushed her head against the back of the chair, hoping Shizuru would be able to interpret that. With the world around her blocked out, she honed in on every movement the other woman made, however slight it was. She felt the ticklish brush of hair on her thighs and her stomach lurched with anxiety and anticipation. She could hear Shizuru's breathing pick up, short puffs of air coming at quickened intervals. She could smell what she'd come to identify as her own arousal. She could taste Shizuru still on her lips and she missed the other woman's mouth.

As Shizuru's head continued its descent at an agonisingly slow pace, she pulled her hands away and gripped the arms of the chair, squeezing the plastic in a vice-like hold. When she felt breath between her legs, she let out a whimper, her hips beginning to squirm a little now. Soft hands travelled over the skin of her thighs once more, soothing her nerves as they massaged the muscles there. Shizuru then placed both hands on Natsuki's inner thighs, spreading her legs slightly. "So beautiful..." came the breathy whisper.

Before Natsuki could really register the words, she felt a softness press against her lips and a cry rose from her throat and spilled past her clenched teeth. The pressure against her was released before another quick kiss was placed into the hair between her legs. She released the breath that had caught in her chest and managed to force it out her mouth with a hiss. Her mind was spinning from the minimal contact Shizuru was allowing her, she dared not think about how she would react when the older woman finally gave into her desires.

Shizuru shifted in front of her, using her hands to place Natsuki's legs over her shoulders whilst she settled with her prize at eye level. The biker forced an eye open to peer down at the other woman, seeing only chestnut hair and a pair of eyebrows as Shizuru closed the gap between them. She let out another gasp as she felt something deliciously soft and wet press into her. Hot velvet caressed the length of her centre, sending an overwhelming surge of pleasure throughout her body. Her grip tightened on the arms of the chair and her hips bucked upwards into Shizuru's mouth.

Natsuki heard and felt Shizuru's low, rumbling moan against her lips and she couldn't help but answer with a groan of her own. That tongue delved deeper into her, exploring everything within reach. Shizuru wrapped her arms around Natsuki's thighs as she burrowed deeper into her centre, her own excitement causing her to lose any sense of rhythm. Shizuru teasingly lapped at her entrance, not quite going inside. Natsuki snorted in frustration, now grinding against the other woman's face as her body begged for more. In the next moment, that torturous tongue had swept upwards and had honed in on the small bundle of nerves there. She flinched as the tip of Shizuru's tongue flicked against it, sending another bolt of pleasure throughout her body.

She felt a deep throbbing from within her as Shizuru's tongue circled her clit over and over. Her pulse quickened along with her breath at the teasing strokes. Then the older woman closed her lips around that little bundle and lapped at it, eliciting short, sharp gasps from Natsuki. Her tongue's ministrations were driving the biker further and further into a maddened state of arousal and she felt as though she might be lost in it forever. While Natsuki continued to lose herself, Shizuru picked up the pace and intensity of her efforts.

As she licked at Natsuki, Shizuru moved her right arm down so she could stroke the underside of a tensed thigh. The biker's body shuddered under the other woman's touches and she wasn't sure how much longer she'd be able to hang on for. The fingers that had brushed against her leg were now burying themselves in short dark strands of hair. Natsuki bit down on her lower lip as her hips bucked suddenly. All throughout her jerky movements, Shizuru had held onto her securely, guiding her hips back down to the chair and ensuring she didn't slide off of it.

Shizuru now shifted on her knees, pushing herself up a little so she had a heightened position above Natsuki's pelvis. She never once broke contact with her, her tongue still stimulating the younger woman's clit. Now that she'd moved, Shizuru brought her right hand down to part Natsuki's lips and rested her middle finger at her opening. She paused and Natsuki was sure she'd be smirking at the sweet agony she inflicted on her. "Uhn..." she murmured, bucking her hips purposely upwards to entice the other woman into her. "Shizu... ru..."

Natsuki growled in frustration as the flicking of Shizuru's tongue slowed considerably and she stilled the rocking of her hips, peering down at her lover with mild irritation. Shizuru lifted her head, Natsuki's desire evident upon her grinning mouth. She watched as that wicked tongue licked swollen lips. "Does Natsuki want something?" Her tone had deepened to a melodious purr and it sent shivers down the younger woman's spine.

"You know damn well..." She was cut off abruptly as Shizuru thrust her middle finger into her, causing her to take in a sharp breath of air. Her muscles clamped down on that finger, adjusting easily to its presence. The pleasurable sensations it caused filled her and she closed her eyes, wanting to give herself over to it completely. Her entire body tremored as Shizuru pulled out and pushed in once more, setting a slow, even pace. Natsuki could feel her gaze on her but she didn't open her eyes.

Soon, she felt Shizuru's tongue rejoin her hand and resume its previous task of flicking against the swollen nub. Natsuki's hips began rocking against Shizuru again, her breaths now being joined by whimpers and moans. The Kyoto woman panted against her centre, only adding to the multitude of sensations she felt down there. That tightness in the pit of her stomach was beginning to build now, the same thing she had felt in the club office. Shizuru knew how to create that and nurture it until it consumed her and left her helpless.

Shizuru continued to pump into Natsuki, stroking her inner walls as she did so. She added her forefinger, causing the biker to groan loudly. Her hips were bucking erratically now and she had no control over what most of her body was doing. She managed to bring her right hand down from its death grip on the arm of the chair and into silky locks of chestnut. She gripped the hair tightly and pulled Shizuru firmly into her. "Shi... zuru..." She gasped as her lover picked up the pace.

They rocked together now, Natsuki bucking into the other woman's touch whilst Shizuru thrust into her and kept up her ministrations on her clit. Natsuki was slowly beginning to lose each of her senses, scent being the first to go and now hearing. She could no longer hear her ragged breaths nor the lapping of Shizuru's tongue. She supposed sight would have been soon to follow but having her eyes closed made that rather redundant anyway. She could still taste her lover's kisses in her mouth and she wished to hang onto that for as long as she could, as well as being able to enjoy her touch.

She was close now and when Shizuru curled her fingers around into her front wall she knew it wouldn't take much to tip her over. The building crescendo in her gut was about ready to overflow and she could sense the blinding light at the edge of her vision. She allowed her mouth to hang open to provide easier breathing, not caring what sounds she emitted now. The rapid fluttering of Shizuru's tongue pushed her ever closer and when she plunged into her with added strength, Natsuki felt her muscles tighten and pulse around those fingers. Her body convulsed and she called out to Shizuru as the waves of euphoria consumed her. Her legs unintentionally wrapped around Shizuru's head and her grip on those chestnut strands tightened further as more tremors wracked her body.

She finally flopped back into the chair, her muscles relaxing and returning to a jelly-like state. She panted heavily, unable to open her eyes for the time being. She felt unusually emotional and wasn't sure if she should laugh or cry. As her senses returned to her, she felt Shizuru slide along her body and wrap her in a protective embrace. Nothing could have made her feel safer in that moment. She weakly lifted her own arms to return the hug and felt a lazy smile come to her lips.

When she eventually managed to open her eyes, a smiling Shizuru looked back at her, her lips even more swollen than before which only made them seem more appealing to Natsuki. Her cheeks were rosy and her hair was in disarray.  _Whoops,_ she found herself thinking and let out a small giggle, the euphoria making her giddy. When Shizuru gave her a questioning look she merely snuggled into the other woman, not wanting to expend the energy to speak.  _There's definitely something nice about this orgasm business,_ her intoxicated mind concluded.

She continued to shudder from little aftershocks and she began to feel some strength return to her. She reached up and slid a hand around the back of Shizuru's neck, pulling her down for a languid kiss. She could smell and taste herself on the other woman but it wasn't unpleasant. The kiss was certainly worth putting up with it anyway.

"Ookini," Shizuru uttered after pulling back from the kiss.

"For what?" Natsuki asked lazily.

Shizuru smiled at her, that same fondness showing clearly in her eyes. "For fulfilling a fantasy of mine," was all she said.

Natsuki quirked an eyebrow at her.  _Fantasy?_ What did she mean?  _Does she mean being in this room and..?_ That brought about the thought of Shizuru having to hide her feelings and desires for so long. She wondered if she'd often thought of them being together. She decided to ask her about that later. She didn't have the energy necessary to power her brain for thoughts like that right now. She did realise she didn't mind though.

"No problem," she muttered into her lover's chest, nuzzling her cheek against the smooth skin she found there. Shizuru kissed the top of her head and idly stroked her hair, making her feel entirely comfortable even though they were both cuddled up in a leather chair in a school office. That was certainly a strange thought to Natsuki. They'd need to leave soon as the cleaners would probably be coming around.  _But first things first._ She allowed her hands to wander Shizuru's curves, drawing the other woman's attention.  _After that performance, she deserves a little reward I think._


	4. For Us

"No problem," Natsuki murmured before rubbing her cheek against Shizuru's chest. She found the action incredibly cute and couldn't help the smile from spreading across her face. The skin of Natsuki's cheek felt incredibly hot against her chest, even with her own flushed skin. Shizuru pressed a kiss into dark strands before running her fingers through them lightly.

As comforting as their embrace was, Shizuru was incredibly distracted. The other woman's taste was still in her mouth and every time she inhaled, her scent filled her nostrils. Tasting Natsuki was an amazing experience and one she'd never be able to put into words. It was all she'd ever dreamed of and more. She hadn't expected her to be so completely intoxicating. Those thoughts weren't helping her level of frustration though, and the ache between her legs only increased.

As if reading her mind, Natsuki shifted, her hands sliding around Shizuru's body and down across her ribs. The light touches caused the Kyoto woman to shiver and close her eyes momentarily. She pulled back a little and looked down into intent emerald eyes. Shizuru recognised that determined glint and she wondered what was going through her mind at that point. The younger woman gripped Shizuru's sides and urged her backwards. Complying, Shizuru allowed herself to be guided back onto the table. She sat upon it, thinking it a little strange for their usual seating to be reversed.

She watched as Natsuki licked her lips and Shizuru's eyelids dropped a little as she felt a surge of desire stir within her. The biker slid her hands under the collar of Shizuru's blouse and pushed the garment down the older woman's arms. A shudder crept along her skin as Natsuki's fingertips flitted back up across her shoulders. Lips soon found Shizuru's exposed collarbone and she let out a breath suddenly at the searing contact. She tilted her head back and closed her eyes, focusing entirely on what the other woman was doing to her.

Teeth grazed her skin and the flicker of a tongue sent her mind whirling. Inexperienced as she was, Natsuki had quickly discovered exactly what it was that drove Shizuru to dizzying heights of arousal. The Kyoto woman gripped the edge of the table firmly, supporting herself as best she could. When she felt Natsuki's hands on her thighs she let out another gasp. This seemed to encourage the other woman as she pushed her hands up along Shizuru's legs, taking the fabric of her skirt with them. Her stomach fluttered uncontrollably now and she could feel the heat prickling under her skin.

Those tantalising hands paused in their ascent and Shizuru felt fingernails press into the sensitive skin at the top of her thighs. A whimper rose up at the back of her throat and she could feel her muscles tense under Natsuki's fingers. She shivered as a hot tongue trailed along the contour of her collarbone before Natsuki pressed a firm kiss to the hollow of her throat. Risking losing her balance, Shizuru lifted one of her hands and buried her fingers in dark tresses, gripping them firmly. A murmur rumbled against her skin as Natsuki reacted to the action.

The younger woman now placed her palms flat against Shizuru's thighs, gripping them slightly and pushing her legs apart. The Kyoto woman could feel her chest tightening in anticipation. It was so easy to relinquish control to Natsuki. At first, it had come as a surprise to her after the all of the restrictions she had placed on herself, particularly when it came to this woman. But it made complete sense; if anyone could tear down her defences easily, it would be Natsuki. Still, she couldn't help but find it new and strange. The little doubts that niggled at the back of her mind didn't help either.

Unintentionally not allowing Shizuru to focus on that thought for the moment, Natsuki playfully nipped at Shizuru’s neck before running her tongue across the skin there. Shizuru let out an approving moan and pulled the other woman's head against her more firmly. One of the biker's hands left its place on Shizuru's thigh and travelled the distance to her chest. Fingers made a burning trail over the skin just above her breasts and she let out a frustrated whimper, the need building within her getting the better of her. She could feel Natsuki's lips twitch against her neck and then she cupped a hand over one of Shizuru's breasts, the white fabric of her bra an unwanted barrier between them.

Shizuru's back arched of its own accord, prompting Natsuki to squeeze her breast gently. The combination of the other woman's mouth and hands on her skin fuelled the yearning in her gut, making it hard for her to breathe. She drew in a lungful of air, attempting to clear her mind a little. Part of her wasn't letting go completely, however, and it irked her that she wasn't able to fully enjoy what Natsuki was doing to her. Her thoughts were clouded though and pinpointing the exact problem wasn't proving easy. She grazed her nails across Natsuki's scalp, causing the other woman to pause her ministrations.

As Natsuki pulled back, Shizuru peered down at her, uncertain green eyes staring back at her. That look of uncertainty triggered something in her mind.  _"I'm scared._ _Really scared."_ Her earlier words echoed in Shizuru's mind and she felt a chill pass through her. " _Once I decide on something..."_  The haze around Shizuru lifted slightly as her thoughts sobered her.  _Is this really what she wants?_  Natsuki didn't seem to notice the doubts cascading through the Kyoto woman, however, and she ducked down to press a kiss to Shizuru's sternum.

The older woman desperately tried to force the doubts from her mind, to try and enjoy Natsuki's touch, to live in that moment. Yet the guilt gnawing at her refused to release her.  _Please, let me just enjoy this,_ she pleaded with herself but the thoughts wouldn't fade, even when Natsuki's hand slid up to touch her hip, her thumb brushing against the sensitive skin between her thigh and groin. She shuddered involuntarily, wrapping her arms around Natsuki's shoulders and pulling her in tightly.  _Why would she be doing these things if she didn't want to?_

Logically, Shizuru couldn't see any reason why Natsuki would, but an aching had begun to fill her chest and irrational fears were answering her questions for her now. Shizuru was aware of how guilty the other woman had felt over the suffering she'd endured because of her feelings.  _Perhaps she's doing this to alleviate her guilt?_ She didn't like the sound of that in the slightest. Natsuki was kind though, and she could see her making that sacrifice out of some twisted sense of duty. Shizuru hated the thought that she was only with her now because she felt obligated to be.

She felt all the hope that she'd gained in the last few days begin to slip away from her. Putting everything together that Natsuki had said led her to a completely unwanted conclusion. Why couldn't she have just ignored the doubts? Why couldn't she allow herself to enjoy something for once? Her fears had consumed her so much that she hadn't noticed she was trembling. This seemed to go unnoticed by Natsuki, however, who continued to caress the older woman's skin. Her tender touches were almost painful to Shizuru now.

 _Does she pity me?_ The soul-shattering thoughts continued to plague her, ruining any enjoyment she could have received. Had she wanted it so much that she ignored Natsuki's own feelings in the process? Had she been blind to everything but her own desire?  _I'm so selfish..._  She could feel tears sting at her eyes and she knew she'd lose control over her emotions if she didn't stop what was happening. Panic constricted the muscles in her chest as she felt Natsuki's fingers slip under the hem of her panties.

She tried to call out to Natsuki to stop, but her throat tightened uncomfortably. She released her hold on the other woman and forced her left hand between their bodies, grasping at Natsuki's wrist. Stiffening at the contact, Natsuki suddenly pulled back, confusion in her widened eyes. Perhaps it was the desperation in Shizuru's movements that had tipped the dark haired woman off but it was clear she knew something was wrong.

"Shizuru..?" she questioned, almost timidly. Natsuki's expression filled with even more concern as she regarded Shizuru's face. The Kyoto woman had no idea what she could see there but she expected she wasn't hiding much of what she felt at that moment. "What's wrong?"

Shizuru looked away, her gaze dropping to the table. How was she supposed to tell Natsuki? How was she supposed to push away everything she had ever wanted? She bit down on her bottom lip in an attempt to keep the turmoil of emotions contained. "Can we... stop?" Shizuru could hear the quiver in her own voice.

She could sense the mixture of feelings passing through Natsuki at that moment, she didn't even need to look at her. That only caused the aching in her chest to grow. "Wh-what?"

"Please..." she could only whisper out the word.

Natsuki hesitantly pulled away, taking a step back and wrapping her arms around herself as she shifted uncomfortably. "Did I... do something wrong? Did I hurt you?" she asked tentatively, the intense worry in her words almost bringing Shizuru to tears. Even then, Natsuki was only thinking of her needs.

Shizuru drew in a deep breath and slipped off the table, shrugging her blouse back onto her shoulders. "No," she said as calmly as she could. She brought the parted blouse together and held it in place with one hand.

"Then what?" Natsuki demanded.

Against her will, Shizuru's eyes went to Natsuki and she took in the pain in her features.  _I've hurt her..._  That realisation staggered the Kyoto woman and she wished they could go back to the way they had been moments before. But she couldn't. Surely she was hurting Natsuki more by forcing the other woman to be with her? Even if it was unintentional. She needed to hear that from her first though.

"Shizuru!" Natsuki reached out for her and grasped her upper arms firmly. "Tell me."

Unable to tear her eyes away from the emotion in Natsuki's eyes, she forced herself to answer. "You... don't want this, do you?" Her voice sounded strained.

The biker's brow furrowed and her nose wrinkled slightly as confusion marred her features. "What are you talking about? I just told you-"

Shizuru cut in, wanting to get it over with quickly. It was too painful. "I heard your words but... I can't help but think it's all for my sake."

Natsuki shook her head slowly, not quite understanding. "Of course it is but..."

 _So it's true... "_ I don't want you doing anything for my sake, Natsuki. I told you that before."

The grip on her arms tightened as the furrow in Natsuki's brow deepened. "That's not what I meant! I told you I'm giving myself to you. Don't you get it?"

Shizuru's eyes closed, unable to look upon the emerald burning into her. "Giving yourself isn't the same as wanting it..."

Natsuki didn't even pause before answering and it almost convinced Shizuru she was wrong about everything. Almost. "Of course I want it. Why wouldn't I?"

Abruptly pulling away from Natsuki's grip, Shizuru took a few steps away before uncharacteristically snapping back at the other woman. "Why would you?"

The younger woman was taken aback by her burst of emotion and she floundered for a moment. This only continued to fuel the doubts in Shizuru's mind. "Sh-Shizuru..." she said sadly.

Tears were stinging at her eyes again now but Shizuru refused to let them flow. Not in front of someone else.  _Not in front of her. "_ Thank you, Natsuki..." she began, buttoning her shirt quickly. "For doing this for me but I can't just play along. As much as I want to, I just can't."

She picked up her jacket and turned away from Natsuki, gripping the garment tightly in her hands. She felt as though she was killing a part of herself with her words. "I don't... understand," came Natsuki's bewildered words. "You... I... I just worked things out in my head, dammit. How could this happen?"

The aching in her chest had started giving way to an odd hollow sensation. "I'm sorry. I wish I could be content with your pity but... it's not enough." With those words she moved hastily to the door and unlocked it. She wasn't sure how she managed to handle the keys since her mind wasn't on the task but she didn't fumble once.

"Shizuru, wait!" Natsuki called out to her. She wanted desperately to turn and just embrace the other woman but she, instead, squeezed her eyes shut and gripped the door handle tightly. She waited for the biker to say something else but she appeared to be struggling with her own thoughts. As she opened the door and moved out into the corridor, she heard Natsuki move after her.

She couldn't handle the other woman coming after her, she'd just give in to that pity. As much as it hurt to push Natsuki away, it was something she had to do. If they continued as they were, they'd end up both hurting because it wasn't what either of them wanted. Part of her selfishly wanted to relish in that temporary happiness but she'd gone too far already. And then she did something that she hadn't done in the school corridors before. She ran.

"You're wrong!" Natsuki's voice drifted to her ears and she could feel her mask cracking. Yet, she still continued to distance herself from the other woman. She had to try and run from that emptiness in her chest, before it consumed her completely.

* * *

 _How did this happen?_ Natsuki's thought echoed in her mind and she felt completely desolate as she stared down the corridor.  _Shizuru ran from me... she actually ran away..._ She couldn't even comprehend their conversation at that moment. None of it made sense. She'd worked so hard at sorting things out in her head, she really thought she'd made some progress. And now Shizuru had thrown it back in her face. She had seemed to be happy at her words though, that's what she couldn't understand. But then she'd suddenly rejected them.  _She rejected me._

She leant against the wall of the corridor, her strength suddenly sapped. What was she supposed to do? If Shizuru truly believed Natsuki only wanted to be with her because she pitied her, then how was she going to convince her otherwise? Would Shizuru even let her?  _Will I even see her again?_ A chill ran down her spine at that thought. She felt suddenly very lonely.  _No, there's no way that's going to happen! I won't let it!_  She wrapped her arms around herself, the evening bringing with it a penetrating chill. Or perhaps that was her thoughts.

First of all, she had to try and figure out what was going through Shizuru's mind, and that was never an easy thing. She couldn't get over the pain she'd seen in the older woman's eyes. Doing what she did must have been awful for Shizuru.  _If that's the case, why did she do it?_ She wasn't sure she'd be able to answer that on her own. She knew there were a lot of things the other woman kept hidden, even from Natsuki.  _Especially from me, I guess._

Natsuki tilted her head back against the wall and let it rest there, closing her eyes. A dull ache had formed behind her eyes now, matching the pain in her chest. Where would Shizuru have run off to? Perhaps she'd go home, or even to the dojo she taught naginatajutsu at. Both places brought back distracting memories for her. But they were also painful now.  _Will I get to share those moments with her again? Dammit, I'd just found out how good things could feel, how happy I could be._ It wasn't fair, she decided. Why couldn't she just get a break?

"Damn, Natsuki, you look awful!" The sudden sound of Mai's voice caused the biker to jump and she pushed herself off the wall, her senses suddenly alert. She looked in surprise down the corridor and, sure enough, there was Mai standing with her bag in hand looking at her with open concern.

 _Ugh, I can't handle her right now._  She turned to walk in the opposite direction, briefly considering running to get away from the other girl, but she decided that would look too suspicious. Not that walking away from her friend without saying anything was completely normal either. She heard the patter of shoes on the polished floor and she cringed as she realised Mai was jogging to catch up to her.

Mai skipped around her and stopped right in front of Natsuki, almost causing the pair to collide. "Don't pretend you didn't see me." She was sporting a disapproving glare now.

Natsuki let out a sigh and placed a hand on her hip. "What do you want?"

The other girl folded her arms across her ample chest and narrowed her eyes at Natsuki. "That's not going to work on me. You can't be all Miss. Ice and Death around me. I know something's wrong."

She knew this would happen. Just as Mai had noticed the change in her earlier in the day, she was now able to see how upset Natsuki was.  _It's probably not all that hard to do,_  she mused. It didn't help that her clothes were all wrinkled as well. She was just glad she'd gone back into the room earlier to retrieve her underwear. She felt her heart sink as memories from the previous hour flashed through her mind. If only she could go back and do something different. If only she could have said the right thing.

"There!" Mai said, pointing a finger in Natsuki's face. "You're oozing sadness, what's up?"

Natsuki shook her head, her gaze moving to the window where she could see the sun starting to set. Hues of darkening yellows and reds filled the horizon but she couldn't feel their warmth. "I think I messed up," she muttered quietly, not really intending the words to slip out at all.

Mai regarded her for several moments before grasping a surprised Natsuki's wrist and tugging her along down the corridor. Before the dark haired student could register her complaint, her friend piped up cheerfully with an explanation. "I think we need a change of venue for this!"

"Wh-what?" Natsuki stammered, still surprised by the sudden movement. She, however, allowed herself to be led by her friend, not having the mental energy to resist at that time. She wanted to get away from that old student council room, anyway. Mai didn't answer her at first but she guessed they were going back to her room from the direction they were headed. She stumbled a little as Mai increased her pace and Natsuki found herself wondering where she got her energy from.

When they came to a halt in front of the room Mai shared with Mikoto, the other girl turned to her. "I thought it'd be better if we had somewhere private to chat, and I can make you ramen," she punctuated her words with a broad smile.

Mai's cheer was almost infectious but it wasn't quite enough to drown out the pain of the evening's events. She offered her friend a weak smile though, letting her know she didn't disapprove of the idea completely. Apparently happy with that, Mai's smile turned into a grin and she unlocked the door to her room, allowing Natsuki to enter first. As the biker stepped in, she felt comforted by the familiarity of it. Her eyes went to the far end of the room where two single beds sat. One was neatly made, the bed sheets looking crisp and fresh, while the other was in a state of disarray. It was easy to tell who each of the beds belonged to.

After she had closed the door behind them, Mai trotted over to the small kitchen area. She paused behind a spotless counter, following Natsuki's gaze. "Don't worry, Mikoto won't be back for a bit. She's off spending time with Reito tonight."

Natsuki glanced back at her friend. "I wasn't worried," she muttered as she moved over towards the horribly pink couch. She lowered herself onto it and leaned back, relaxing as best she could.

Mai merely smiled at her before turning around to open a cupboard that sat against one wall. "Can I get you a drink? I think we have some sort of green tea in here somewhere. Oh, and there's soda in the fridge."

"T- Uh..." Natsuki had begun to say tea but she stopped herself. Drinking that would only make her think of Shizuru and the last thing she needed was to get emotional in front of Mai. Still, it wasn't like she could think of much else at present. "Soda."

Mai peered over her shoulder at the other girl, shooting her a puzzled look, before retrieving a glass from the cupboard. She pulled open the fridge door, the light inside spilling out onto the tiled floor. The other girl took out a can of coke and opened it, pouring it into the glass before dutifully bringing it over to Natsuki. The dark haired student accepted the offered glass and sipped at it distractedly. Her thoughts were wandering back to Shizuru again, even without the presence of tea.

Settling onto the sofa beside Natsuki, Mai peered at her friend, a searching look in her eyes. She gave Natsuki a reassuring smile but that didn't make the biker feel any better about the questions that were about to come. "So, tell me, what has the cool and collected Natsuki all worked up?"

She was sure Mai's words were meant to be light and encouraging, but Natsuki couldn't help but feel they were mocking her now. She opened her mouth to speak but found she couldn't form the words. She found it hard enough to formulate thoughts when it came to feelings, let alone explain it for another person. She certainly wasn't used to sharing those sorts of things with Mai either. Hanging out was another matter. She found the other girl fun to be around and it was always a relief from her darker thoughts but she'd never had the urge to open up her innermost feelings to her.

Mai's smile dropped momentarily as she regarded Natsuki's behaviour. "Come on, you can talk to me about it. I can see something is eating you up inside. It's not healthy if you don't let it out, you know."

Was it really that obvious? Natsuki placed the glass on the coffee table in front of her before clasping her hands in front of her. She gripped her own hands firmly, trying to force some of the tension in her body into that action. "It's not that easy," was all she could say.

The other girl shifted beside her and leaned forward on the sofa in order to see Natsuki's face a little better. "Why not? All you have to do is let it go."

Natsuki shook her head slowly, the tips of her long hair brushing against her forearms. "I can't."

A sudden thump to her upper arm startled Natsuki and she stared at Mai in surprise.  _She punched me!_ It hadn't been hard but she still hadn't expected it. "Other than the priceless expression, I did that to snap you out of your brooding!" Mai explained.

"I'm not brooding!" she insisted, rubbing her arm with her other hand.

Mai reached out and poked Natsuki's brow with her forefinger. The dark haired student swatted at the offensive limb and scowled at her attacker. "That crease there proves otherwise!"

Natsuki jutted her lower jaw forwards indignantly and let a huff out through her nose. "I was just thinking!" she protested.

The finger that had just prodded her now wagged disapprovingly. "Less thinking, Natsuki. More talking."

Natsuki rolled her eyes at the other girl, but she was glad for her words. She'd managed to provoke other emotions in her than just the sadness she'd been wallowing in previously. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad talking with Mai about it after all. Still, there were some things she didn't think she'd be able to tell her.  _I'll have to choose my words carefully._

Perhaps sensing Natsuki's willingness changing, Mai's expression became serious and her grin faded. "So, how is it you think you messed up?"

 _How could I possibly tell her about that?_ Natsuki pursed her lips, attempting to think of a way to get her situation across without actually giving any details. That was not going to be easy. "I... I'm not sure. I think I did something to upset someone."

Mai's head tilted to one side as she tried to figure out what the other girl meant. "Upset who?"

"A... friend."

The other girl brought a hand up to sweep some stray strands of hair out of her face. "Well, aren't you being all specific." Natsuki could only shoot her a guilty look. "At least tell me what you think you've done."

Her head dipping with the memories from earlier in the evening, Natsuki grimaced as she continued the vague explanation. "I don't even know. I tried so hard to say and do the right things but it didn't work. I still screwed things up."

Mai's brow furrowed at Natsuki's words. "Does this have anything to do with earlier?"

Natsuki blinked blankly at her for a few moments before it dawned on her that she was referring to their meeting before school. "Oh... yeah, I guess it does."

The other girl's eyes brightened at this but Natsuki couldn't share her excitement. "Who are you dating, Natsuki?"

The biker let out a soft sigh. "No one." It wasn't as if she was lying. She'd never been on a date with Shizuru and she wasn't even sure they had any kind of relationship now. She had to ignore the pain in her chest at that thought.

"Oh come on, give me something to work with here!" Mai exclaimed with a hint of frustration.

Natsuki clenched her jaw before looking over at her friend. "Let's just stick with 'friend' for now."

The other girl waved a hand dismissively. "Fine, fine. I'll translate as you go. Continue then!"

Throwing herself back to lounge against the sofa, her head tilted up towards the ceiling, Natsuki allowed her gaze to wander over the tiny cracks in the paint above her. "I'm not really sure what to say. I tried to open up to... my friend and it backfired. I must have said something wrong and I don't know how to make it right again."

There was a pause as Mai processed her words. Natsuki knew she wasn't being very helpful with what she was saying, yet her friend was still trying to help out.  _I should really thank her properly when all this is over. "_ So what's your  _friend's_  problem?"

Natsuki flinched at the emphasised word. It didn't feel right to refer to Shizuru as merely her friend any more. She felt like she was belittling the connection they had and ignoring all the progress they had made. But that had already happened, hadn't it? "It's hard to say. I never know what they're thinking." When she felt Mai's glare directed at her, she decided to elaborate further. "Something about me pitying them."

"Are we talking about Takeda-san?" Mai's voice rose a few octaves as she spoke.

The biker cringed at the inference. "No!" she hastily rejected the notion.  _I suppose it is my fault for being so vague though._

Her friend let out a giggle. "You said that way too fast, Natsuki."

"Because it's wrong!" she insisted, lifting her head to look at Mai.

From the skeptical look on the other girl's face, she clearly didn't believe her. Perhaps it would have been easier to allow Mai to believe that she was talking about Takeda but she couldn't talk about Shizuru as thought she was him. That didn't sit well with her at all. "Did he finally wear you down?"

"Ugh, Mai, it's not Takeda," she continued to deny it, weariness creeping into her voice.

Mai eyed her with that same scepticism. "The pity thing... I was sure it could only be him."

 _I guess I can see how she'd come to that conclusion. "_ Well, it's not," she said irritably.

Finally giving up on that idea, Mai shrugged and looked at Natsuki pointedly. "So why does your  _friend_  think you pity them?"

Natsuki let her head fall again to the back of the sofa and pressed her palms against her face. "I really don't know."

Turning to the side, to face Natsuki, and leaning one elbow on the back of the sofa, Mai gestured with her free hand as she spoke. "There's got to be some reason. If we can figure that out then maybe you'll know what to do."

She was right, there had to be a reason, but Natsuki couldn't think of it. She was hopeless at that sort of thing. She was barely aware of the reasons why she did things, let alone another person. One moment Shizuru had been perfectly happy, the next she'd pushed Natsuki away. She only wished she knew what had happened in those minutes to cause that change. She let her eyes slide to the left to peer at Mai out of the corner of them. She seemed to be structuring something in her mind and Natsuki realised she hadn't given her friend much of anything to go on. How was she supposed to be able to help?

"You do come off a bit cold, Natsuki. Maybe that's it?" Mai offered.

That wasn't it. She'd opened herself up more with Shizuru than she had with anyone else. "It can't be. I'm not like that with them."

She registered the surprise in Mai's eyes. "Really?"

Natsuki shot her a warning look. "Don't be so surprised." She couldn't really blame Mai though, she hadn't exactly showed her much evidence of her softer side.

"Maybe that's it..." Mai thought aloud. "You're not your usual self around this friend so it seems like you're putting on an act?"

"It's not an act!" she snapped defensively.

Mai held her hands up in front of herself. "I never said that. I said it might seem that way."

 _Could that be it?_ It seemed unfathomable to Natsuki that Shizuru would assume she was pretending when she was around her. "I... don't think so. They should know me by now."

An orange eyebrow curved upwards. "Wouldn't it be, you know, easier to talk to someone who's known you longer then?"

Natsuki turned her head to look at Mai fully. She wasn't speaking out of hurt that she didn't appear to know the biker as well as she thought. She seemed to genuinely think the suggestion was better for her friend. "I don't really have anyone..." Natsuki trailed off, that aching in her chest swelling once more. _Shizuru..._

As if hearing her thoughts, Mai chimed in. "What about Kaichou-san?"

The cheerful use of her old title made Natsuki feel almost nostalgic. But it also hurt to think she couldn't talk to her old friend. "No," she said quietly.

"Why not? She's known you the longest, hasn't she? And you two hang out quite a bit now. Surely, she'd be better at this than me?" Mai said cheerfully, obviously pleased with her reasoning.

Staring back up at the ceiling, Natsuki covered her eyes with her forearm, attempting to block everything out. "I can't..." She hoped the pain didn't show in her words.

"Don't be so stubborn. If you can talk to me, then-"

"She's the problem, dammit!"  _Shit._ She'd wanted to tell Mai but now she regretted the outburst. She let her arm fall back to her side with a little more force than she'd intended.

Mai blinked rapidly, confusion causing a frown to replace her smile and creases to appear on her brow. "K-kaichou-san... likes the same person you do?"

Natsuki let out a wry laugh, the sound ugly to her own ears. It was only natural for Mai to make that assumption though. She was trying to force them into a box that fit into her own view of the world. It probably hadn't even occurred to the other girl that a guy wasn't even involved.

"No?" Mai's confusion was growing.

Sucking in a deep breath, Natsuki prepared herself for whatever reaction Mai might have to her explanation. It would be good just to let the words out though. "Shizuru is in love with me." There, she had finally said it. While it weighed heavily on her heart, she also found a kind of freedom for having said it aloud.

Normally, she probably would have found the humour in watching Mai's mouth open and close like a goldfish's and the normally vocal girl was completely speechless now. But, Natsuki realised, her friend's opinion did actually matter to her and, because of that, she felt a nervous flutter in her stomach. Seeming to realise how ridiculous she looked, Mai snapped her mouth shut and concentrated on keeping the shock from her face.

Mai ran a hand through her hair and finally looked Natsuki in the eye. She opened her mouth to speak but paused for a moment, seeming to consider her words before continuing. "Do you..?" She couldn't seem to finish the question though, as if asking was too presumptuous.

Natsuki knew what she was asking though. The same question had been echoing through the back of her mind since she had first kissed Shizuru, she just hadn't wanted to acknowledge it then. "I... don't know," she answered honestly. How was she supposed to know? She had never loved anyone before. Sure, she knew what maternal love felt like and she had loved her mother very much. It was a safe kind of feeling, a comforting warmth, something to always fall back on.  _Perhaps I do then..._

"I see..." Mai said as her frown deepened.

Did Mai think their situation disgusting? It was hard to read that frown. Mai didn't seem like the kind of person who'd reject Natsuki's friendship over this.  _But how can I know until it's tested?_ Now that she'd revealed it to Mai, she wasn't sure how to continue. It was a big enough step merely telling her about Shizuru, how was she supposed to delve into her own feelings?

"How long has she... you know?" Mai asked tentatively, her voice much quieter than usual.

Why couldn't she say it?  _Then again, I couldn't either._ Natsuki realised she couldn't really answer Mai's question as she didn't know herself. She had never questioned Shizuru on it. After the chaos had ended and everything had returned to some semblance of normality, Natsuki just couldn't find it in herself to bring any of what had happened up with the older girl. How long had she had those feelings for? Her thoughts went back to the small moments they'd spent together before the HiMEs had gotten caught up in their destiny. Shizuru had always been so helpful, even when she was seemingly busy with council duties. She'd allowed her use of her laptop whenever Natsuki had wished it. Was there a reason behind that kindness other than friendship?

"I... I'm not sure. Gah, I don't know anything, do I?" She slumped forwards, cradling her head in her hands as the despair washed over her. How was she meant to make things right if she couldn't answer the simplest of questions?

She stiffened as she felt a warmth on her shoulder and she realised Mai had placed her hand there. "It's okay, Natsuki. You don't need to have all the answers." Natsuki didn't believe that though. "You want to make things right with her, yes?"

She nodded. "I'm not sure if that's possible though," she stated glumly.

Mai squeezed her shoulder. "If she... if she really does love you, then it will be."

Even though she'd been a little hesitant, Mai sounded so sure of what she'd said. Natsuki felt a spark of hope at that belief. "Really?"

Mai nodded, a smile returning to her face. "It's just like Mikoto says..." She raised a finger, clearing her throat and doing her best Mikoto impersonation. "Love is good. Yup!"

Natsuki let out a quiet chuckle.  _Love is good, eh? Yeah, the little ramen-eating-machine is right. It is good._ She remembered how comforting it had felt being wrapped in Shizuru's arms in her bed, waking up to that warmth. She remembered how she felt every time Shizuru looked at her, whether it was with longing or fondness. It was something she knew she didn't want to lose. For all the time she had gone without knowing such a thing existed, she couldn't imagine living without it now. If that meant she loved Shizuru, then so be it.

"So, enough moping. Let's get you fed and then you can start Mission: Kaichou Retrieval!" Mai said excitedly, rising to her feet and clapping her hands together once. Natsuki merely shook her head at her friend, but she was glad for that enthusiasm. It made her feel as though she could face what was to come, whatever that might be.

* * *

The lighting in the room was only enough to fully illuminate one end of it, revealing a magnificent set of armour and a single naginata. They both sat on their own stands, the weapon standing in front of the ancient protective gear, as if worshipped by it. Shizuru sat on the floor in front of them both, her legs tucked under her and her eyes closed. To the outside observer, it may have looked as though the young woman was a picture of serenity, her purple yukata perfectly wrapped around her frame and her face a wall of calm.

Emotionally, however, she was in turmoil. She had come to this room to centre herself, to restore the control she had lost in that old student council room. It was the quietest room in her home; her family had insisted she take the family heirlooms now she had graduated and store them in the safest room - the basement. At first, she had dreaded having the naginata in her home but she had found it was something that kept her grounded, it reminded her of the things she could do, of who she could become. She had promised herself that she would always be in control since then, but she had broken that just hours before.

She took a calming breath in and opened her eyes to gaze upon the artefacts in front of her. The naginata was beautiful, she couldn't deny that. Her eyes followed the flow of the weapon; from the groove at the base of the metal, that narrowed as it moved towards the centre of the widening blade, to the lethal tip that was still sharp after all these years. The groove had been painted at one point but, even though it was not as bright as it had been, she could tell it had been red. She allowed her eyes to travel back down towards the handle, which hadn't survived quite as well as the blade. The metal that lined the wooden pole had discoloured from how she had been told it looked in its prime and the ridged wood itself had aged, showing signs of deterioration. But, still, it looked so elegant to her.

As her mother had told her, it had been in her family for centuries and was traditionally handed down from mother to daughter. When she was a young girl, she'd often daydream about her ancestors charging into battle with it, donning the dark armour and cutting an imposing figure. She had even imagined herself wielding it far before she had the ability to summon her own. And, so, the Fujino women had gone from wielding the naginata to merely caring for it. She wondered when it had last tasted blood.

That thought didn't bring back pleasant memories though, and she closed her eyes once more, pushing them away. She'd never find internal balance lingering on every trauma in her life. She would need to come to terms with the decision she'd made earlier in the day, however. That was one thing she couldn't avoid. It clawed at her mind, not once allowing her any peace. And then the thought came to her that had been echoing in her mind since she'd fled from that room.

_What have I done?_

Her posture almost faltered with that, her body instantly urging her to wrap her arms around herself. She forced herself to remain seated as she was, however, and turned her thoughts inward. Painful memories of earlier events filled her mind but she didn't push them away. She knew she had to face them in order to gain power over them.

_I've lost her._

But she had never had Natsuki in the first place, had she? Now that she'd had time and space to go over each of the other girl's words multiple times, she had begun to doubt her own thoughts. What if Natsuki had, indeed, meant what she'd said? What if she wasn't only giving in to Shizuru's own desires? Was it possible she really cared for her in such a way?

_It doesn't matter. It's too late._

She'd made the decision, she'd already acted on it. There was no way Natsuki would forgive her now, not after pushing aside the only form of affection she could give Shizuru. She pressed her fingertips into her thighs, crumpling the fabric of the yukata a little. Perhaps this pain was necessary, though. She couldn't be trusted, not around Natsuki, even if her feelings were true. She had proven again and again that she couldn't retain control. Shizuru couldn't bear the thought of hurting the other girl again. Keeping her distance was the only way of being sure.

_Forgive me, Natsuki._

She hoped that Natsuki wouldn't hate her for her actions. What was she supposed to do now though? Her entire world had revolved around the vengeance-obsessed biker. She wasn't sure she could remember how to live without her. She couldn't think about that though, she could only move forward. She had no choice. So, where would she go now? She had university, of course, and it would be unwise to throw her education away. The campus was still rather close to Natsuki though. Even so, she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to get far enough away.

From the very first moment she saw Natsuki, she was drawn to her. It was hard to pinpoint what exactly about her made her different to all the other girls around her. Perhaps it was her pain. Whatever the case, from the day she had approached Natsuki in that flower garden, she hadn't been able to stay away. Yet, after all the years of longing, what did she have to show for it? Her grip tightened on her legs at that thought and she could feel the calm she'd surrounded herself in slipping away.

Shizuru forced herself to take in one deep breath after another in an attempt to quell the surge of emotion. She tried to blank her mind, to focus entirely on taking air into her body and then expelling it. Soon she began to relax and the tightness in her chest eased a little. The students who had attended Fuuka Academy with her had often talked of how naturally at ease she was, as though her grace and cool facade were instinctual. What they didn't know was she had been taught from a very young age how to behave  _properly_  and to hide any signs of weakness. It had taken time to become proficient at controlling how other people perceived her.

A sound from behind her caused her to tense suddenly and her eyes shot open. She recognised the slight scraping of a door against laminated flooring and the creak of weight on the steps that led into the basement. The footsteps were light and unsure.  _Please, no..._  She found herself holding her breath as her uninvited guest hesitantly descended the stairs. She couldn't turn around to see who it was, she couldn't move at all. She was terrified she'd see that beautiful face and fall apart in front of her.

She heard the release of a shaky breath but it wasn't her own. She mirrored the action, trying desperately to hang on to her mask; her only barrier against the world. She knew who was standing behind her, she could sense the younger woman's presence.  _Why is she here?_ She could have been there to find answers, Shizuru supposed, but she didn't think she was able to offer any.

"Uh..." The familiar sound of Natsuki's low voice reached Shizuru's ears, confirming what she'd already sensed. Under normal circumstances, she would have smiled at the eloquent greeting the biker had offered her. The Kyoto woman didn't turn to face her or acknowledge her in any way. She knew that, if she did, she'd never have the resolve to continue with what she'd already set in motion.

"Natsuki..." she whispered the name as though it was a lament. Focusing her gaze upon the naginata in front of her, she channelled her will into that look so she wouldn't be tempted to take in the captivating features of the younger woman who had now walked up closely behind her. She could almost feel her warmth but she knew it was just a trick of the mind.

Her new companion shuffled uneasily. "Are you okay?" came the meek question.  _That's unlike her,_ she found herself thinking. Shizuru nodded once, her gaze never wavering. Natsuki didn't seem to want to push her on that though. "What is this place?"

Shizuru could hear a hint of wonder in the other woman's voice. "It serves several purposes." She spoke in an even, yet not unkind, tone. "It stores the gifts my family has bestowed upon me and it is a place I like to come to in order to find peace. I also like to train here." It probably wasn't a good idea for her to engage Natsuki in conversation but she couldn't deny her either.

The dark haired woman walked around to stand beside Shizuru and she had to concentrate all the more to keep her gaze ahead. She could still see Natsuki's form in her peripheral vision though. There was a soft coughing sound as her companion cleared her throat. "Listen, Shizuru... I'm going to say some stuff and I hope you'll know what I'm talking about. I'm not very good at this and today just proved that. I'm going to try again though."

A painful mix of hope and disappointment swirled in Shizuru's chest. "Please just leave." Her tone was cold but speaking those three words was like forcing razors past her lips.

Natsuki's stunned silence was even harder to bear than the angered words she'd expected to hear. The other woman didn't retreat, however, and Shizuru watched in surprise as Natsuki stepped in front of her, a determined look on her face. "No," she stated firmly. "You're going to listen to this whether you like it or not."

Shizuru's gaze dropped to the floor in front of her. Natsuki's words only made her seem more endearing, which made the Kyoto woman's task even harder. She just wasn't able to keep up the same level of resistance and so she didn't object. Natsuki dropped down onto the floor in front of her, mirroring her positioning and reaching out for her with one hand. Tentatively, she cupped Shizuru's chin with her fingers and tilted her head upwards.

"I need you to look at me for this," was all she said. Shizuru's heart fluttered in her chest. How could she deny that?

"If that is what Natsuki wishes," Shizuru murmured, slipping back into the familiar pattern of speech she used with her old friend.

Natsuki nodded once and allowed her hand to drop away, the contact instantly missed by the other woman.  _Even now I can't stop myself from wanting her touch._ Perhaps the glum thought had shown in Shizuru's eyes but now the biker's right eyebrow twitched slightly. She took a deep breath and she seemed to be preparing herself to continue her words. Shizuru wasn't sure what she'd say; part of her expected an explanation that everything had been done for her benefit, but there was that small hopeful part of her that wanted Natsuki to insist she wanted it as much as her.

"I guess I screwed up with what I said before so I'll try and explain properly," Natsuki began, one of her hands playing with the fabric of her uniform's sleeve. "I... I've never been good at looking at myself, you know. I suppose it's easier to focus on all the crap going on around you than it is to look at your own problems. When... I was so consumed by avenging my mother, I didn't have to think about anything else. It was an easy path to take. But now... now that's gone, I'm left with all these other areas of my life that are just a mystery to me. I've never dealt with them before."

Shizuru listened patiently but she was unsure what the other woman was trying to tell her with her words. Was she unable to love? Was that it? That wasn't a comforting thought. Even if that hadn't been the case, that wasn't the only issue that had pushed itself between them. She didn't let her internal musings show on her face though. She'd allow Natsuki to finish, at least. It couldn't be easy for the other woman to speak about her feelings, after all.

"I've done a lot of thinking; about how I feel and stuff." A look of frustration passed across Natsuki's face at her poor word choice. "And I'm sure that, even though I'm kind of scared, I want to share these new experiences with you."

There was that flicker of hope again. Natsuki's words were like a song to her ears and she let them echo in her mind for a while before replying. They soon became intermingled with her own doubts, however. "Natsuki is too kind," she said quietly, her eyes burning into unsure emerald. "But I cannot accept that kindness."

The other woman's brow furrowed in confusion. "Why the hell not?"

"If it were not for me pushing my feelings on you, I'm sure you wouldn't have these thoughts at all." Shizuru couldn't stop the icy tone that laced her words.

Natsuki merely stared at her for several long moments, processing this new point. "I don't... understand."

"Let me ask you this then, Natsuki: If you'd never known of how I felt towards you, would you have ever thought about being with me? Intimately, I mean."

The creases deepened on Natsuki's forehead. It was obviously something she'd never even thought about before. Still, she answered fairly quickly. "What does it matter? I did find out and that helped me discover my own feelings."

There was another quick flutter in her chest but Shizuru ignored it. "And what are those feelings?"

"I..." Natsuki hesitated, her gaze dropping as she withdrew into herself. That was proof enough that Shizuru's decision had been correct back in that old council room. "I... care about you."

The Kyoto woman smiled sadly at her companion. "I am glad for that. But you care differently for me than I care for you and that will always put us at odds with one another. I can't allow you to sacrifice yourself for my sake."

A spark of desperation glinted in those green eyes now and Natsuki shifted forwards slightly. Unexpectedly, she reached out and gripped the front of Shizuru's yukata with both hands. The chestnut haired woman's eyes widened at Natsuki's actions. There was an almost painful expression etched onto her old friend's face now. "Dammit, Shizuru. I want you just as much as you want me." Her cheeks flushed slightly as she spoke. "I want to be able to touch you, to hold you, to smell you. I can't face a day where I don't see your smile. Your real smile. I can't stop thinking about how your lips taste or the way your hair feels between my fingers." Her grip tightened further on the fabric in her hands, pulling the yukata loose at the front. "Tell me that isn't how you feel!"

Shizuru could only sit there in complete shock. A shiver had crept up her spine, leaving her skin feeling chilled and her heart was pounding. She let out a quivering breath, realising she had been holding it as Natsuki had been speaking. Out of everything she had expected to hear, she hadn't even dreamed of those words. She had never allowed herself that hope. She wanted to just melt into Natsuki's arms now but her fears still held her back. Images flickered through her mind and she felt herself stiffen.

The pink hue fading from Natsuki's skin now, she seemed to notice the turmoil within the other woman. "Shizuru..." She released her hold on the yukata and trailed her fingertips across Shizuru's cheek. "Why are you scared?"

Was it so easy to see? It seemed her mask shattered so easily around Natsuki and that was part of the problem. How was she supposed to be able to explain that to her though? "I.. don't want to do anything to hurt you again, Natsuki."

This only seemed to puzzle the dark haired woman and she idly brushed chestnut strands out of Shizuru's field of vision. "You haven't."

Shizuru's eyes closed as the sting of memories flooded her mind. "The Carnival," was all she could say.

"That wasn't you." Natsuki's words were soft and reassuring but Shizuru couldn't help but feel they were cruel.

"But it was..." Shizuru whispered.

Natsuki's hands slipped down to the Kyoto woman's shoulders now and she gently shook her, forcing Shizuru to open her eyes. "The Carnival made us all do crazy things. We were manipulated. How was that your fault?"

"Wouldn't it be nice if I could be absolved of all responsibility? But I cannot." Her tone had become firm now as she resolved to go on and finish what she was saying. "I wasn't being forced to kiss you when you were asleep, that was my own yearning. I wasn't being forced to strike down those who had harmed you; that is very much my own wish. My desire to keep you safe and to have you all to myself is an all-consuming thing. I fear that I will become that demon again, Natsuki."

"So that's what this is about?" the other woman asked although it was clear she didn't need an answer. She wasn't looking at her in either disgust or pity, as Shizuru had feared, but there was a fondness in her eyes. A kindness. "It doesn't matter;" she said softly.

"Of course it matters!" Shizuru insisted. "How can you be so dismiss-"

"Because I love you."

She froze. The slight tremor in Natsuki's voice, the blush on her cheeks, the intense burning in her emerald eyes; she wasn't lying. Shizuru's heart stammered in her chest, missing several beats and leaving her breathless. Her skin was tingling where Natsuki was gripping her and her mind had completely blanked.

"I have my own problems and you've helped me through so much so I can't expect you to be perfect, right? Everyone has their demons to fight and I'll be right here to help you with yours." Although a warm glow was filling her chest, Shizuru could still only stare at Natsuki, completely dumbstruck. "I trust in you, Shizuru."

The words were spoken with such tenderness it took the Kyoto woman's breath away. A tingling on her cheek made her realise a single tear had spilled onto her skin and was sliding down towards her jaw. She forcefully closed her eyes, screwing them shut to keep the emotion from pouring out. A reassuring hand moved to her cheek once more, a soft thumb pad stroking away the moisture there. Shizuru opened her eyes again to look upon the beautiful face in front of her.

"It's okay to be weak sometimes, you know," Natsuki said quietly and it seemed to Shizuru she was speaking to herself as much as she was to the other woman. Then a smile pulled at her lips. "Just with me though, 'kay?"

Shizuru couldn't help but return the smile, more tears rolling down the sides of her face.  _How could I have been so wrong?_ All her fears and doubts had so easily been pushed aside by Natsuki's words. She'd allowed those doubts to twist what the other woman was offering her into something completely different. She'd almost lost everything over nothing. She'd have to work on that side of her, she decided. It made her happy to think she'd have someone there who would help her.

Natsuki leaned forwards and wrapped her arms around Shizuru's shoulders, holding her tightly. The Kyoto woman gladly accepted the embrace and slipped her own arms around Natsuki's waist. The heat of her body comforted Shizuru and she inhaled deeply, taking in the other woman's scent. "No more running from me, okay?" Shizuru wasn't sure if Natsuki was referring to the physical or emotional running she'd done. "It doesn't suit you. Shizuru Fujino does  _not_  run."

She couldn't help the laugh that escaped her throat. It was a laugh of relief and it felt almost cathartic. She could feel her worries slipping away now and she let her senses focus completely on the woman holding onto her. The tickle of long, dark strands against her face made her smile widen and reached up to touch her fingertips to the ends of them. It felt as though they had been parted for months even though it had only been hours.

Natsuki pulled back a little to look at her, the fondness still in her eyes. There seemed to be a lot of things the younger woman wanted to say but Shizuru could read so much in that one look. Now Natsuki had clarified her own feelings and Shizuru had gotten past the obstacle of her doubts, it seemed too obvious to her. Why hadn't she been able to see it in her eyes before? Was she stopping herself? The movement of Natsuki's hands against her shoulders chased her thoughts away.

She watched as Natsuki's gaze flickered lower and Shizuru realised the front of her yukata had opened to reveal a sliver of pale flesh. She could see the change in those green eyes; they shifted from affectionate to yearning in an instant. A heat prickled under Shizuru's skin and she wondered if Natsuki had seen anything similar in her own eyes. It was overwhelming to think Natsuki wanted her body just as she had dreamed of touching the other woman.

Natsuki's eyes were on hers again in the next moment and there was an intensity in them that took Shizuru by surprise. Slender fingers toyed with the collar on Shizuru's yukata, sometimes brushing against the sensitive skin of her neck. "I belong to you, right?" Natsuki murmured, her voice dropping lower than it usually did.

Distracting as her actions were, Natsuki's words caught Shizuru's full attention. They echoed of the things Shizuru had said during The Carnival. Yet, they didn't feel menacing or unwanted in the slightest. It was a genuine question. "Yes," she confirmed.  _You are mine._

The tip of Natsuki's tongue darted out to relieve her dry lips. "Show me," she breathed.

A surge of primal need swirled in Shizuru's gut and her body obeyed Natsuki's command instantly. Using the strength she had gained through years of training with the naginata, she took a hold of the front of Natsuki's jacket and twisted her own body. The sudden action took the younger woman by surprise and Shizuru easily maneuvered her to the floor, pinning the body beneath her with her own weight. The arousal colouring Natsuki's skin and burning in her eyes showed she certainly hadn't disliked the aggressive move.

As much as Shizuru wanted to bask in the image of the other woman beneath her, she needed to feel more of Natsuki and so she ducked her head down, closing the distance between them. The raw desire building up in her and Natsuki's earlier command amalgamated into a fiery kiss, her lips crushing against the younger woman's. The movement of Natsuki's mouth was just as needy as hers, pushing her to deepen the kiss and force her tongue between the biker's lips.

It seemed Natsuki wasn't going to be submissive, however, and her hands soon found their way under the collar of Shizuru's yukata. The warmth of her hands against welcoming flesh caused the older woman to shudder and she whimpered into Natsuki's mouth. Their tongues slid against each other's, fighting for dominance.

Clearly not having access to enough of Shizuru's skin, Natsuki grasped the front of the yukata like she had earlier. This time she yanked the fabric apart, the material struggling against the obi wrapped around Shizuru's waist. The cooler air of the room met her heated skin and a slight shiver passed through her. The yukata slipped off of Shizuru's shoulders but she ignored it, instead pressing her body down onto Natsuki's. The assault on her attire ceased at that contact and a low moan rumbled against her lips. Encouraged by the sounds coming from Natsuki, she snaked a hand under the hooded sweater the younger woman always wore with her uniform.

Natsuki shuddered as fingers brushed across the skin of her stomach and Shizuru could sense her arousal heightening. She shifted slightly, feeling the purple cotton around her legs part so she could slip a leg over one of Natsuki's. Taking advantage of this, the younger woman brought her knee up, her thigh coming into contact with the heat burning between Shizuru's legs. She let out a sharp moan, instantly breaking the kiss. She held herself above the other woman, peering down at her with heavily lidded eyes, her hair hanging around Natsuki's face.

Emerald had darkened considerably and Natsuki's gaze roamed Shizuru's form hungrily. Removing the hand from under the younger woman's shirt, she brought it up to grip Natsuki's chin and turned her head to one side. Shizuru descended on the exposed flesh of the other woman's neck, her lips leaving a searing trail of kisses up towards her ear. Natsuki squirmed beneath her, grasping hands still travelling over her skin. Nails grazed across her shoulders and down her back now, causing Shizuru to arch her back. Natsuki's leg continued to press firmly against her groin and she decided she'd have to do something about that soon or she'd never be able to concentrate on her own task.

Settling on the adage, 'the best defence is a good offence', Shizuru bit down gently on the curve of Natsuki's neck. This did, indeed, stop the movement of her legs and the younger woman let out a sharp gasp as Shizuru lapped at the patch of skin she'd just nipped. Continuing her attack, the Kyoto woman hooked her thumb under the hem of her lover's shirt once more and yanked it upwards. Quickly placing her palm flat against the smooth skin that had been revealed, Shizuru murmured contentedly against Natsuki's neck. As she'd been doing that, the other woman's hands had evidently figured out how to unwrap the obi since Shizuru now felt the material at her waist loosening.

Those hands travelled back up to the yukata that restricted Shizuru's arm movements. At Natsuki's behest, the Kyoto woman let the fabric slip off her arms, exposing her torso to the younger woman. Not that Natsuki could take advantage of the view, since Shizuru's ministrations on her neck kept her gaze firmly rooted in the opposite direction. That didn't stop her hands exploring where her eyes could not go, however, and Shizuru's skin tingled as fingertips brushed across her sternum. She took Natsuki's earlobe between her teeth and flicked the tip of her tongue across it repeatedly, receiving a satisfying whimper in response.

The assault on her ear didn't prevent Natsuki from exploring Shizuru's body though and she brought a hand down between their bodies and cupped one of the Kyoto woman's breasts. The sudden pressure caused Shizuru to falter and she pulled away suddenly to let out a gasp. This allowed her lover to turn her head and take in the view of Shizuru naked from the waist up. Natsuki nibbled lightly on her bottom lip as her emerald gaze mapped every curve she could see.

Shizuru could feel heat rise to her cheeks at that smouldering gaze and she felt as though she might melt under it. Continuing to tantalisingly hold her lip between her teeth, Natsuki's eyes settled on where her thumb was now tracing circles around a hardening nipple. Sitting up and straightening, Shizuru closed her eyes and tilted her head back before pressing her breast more firmly against the other woman's hand. Tender wasn't what she needed right at that moment. She wanted to be taken just as much as she needed to mark Natsuki as her own.

Seeming to sense this, the younger woman covered both of Shizuru's breasts with her hands and kneaded them. Natsuki lifted herself up so she could wrap her arms around the other woman's waist and press her lips to the valley between her breasts. Shizuru let out a satisfied sigh and buried her fingers in her lover's silky tresses. The younger woman left light kisses across the curve of Shizuru's breasts, interspersing them with little nips and licks, driving her into a deeper haze of frustration and need. As she did this, Natsuki clutched at the crumpled yukata, attempting to free the rest of her lover's body from its hold.

The rest of the garment soon fell away from Shizuru's hips and it didn't take Natsuki's hands long to roam over the exposed skin. Her impatience growing, the older woman gripped the sides of her lover's face, causing Natsuki to pause and look up at her. Without warning, Shizuru ducked her head down to steal another kiss, finding eager lips and a probing tongue. As teeth grazed lips and tongues stroked each other, Natsuki dragged her nails down across Shizuru's thighs, causing the other woman to tremble under her touch.

Shizuru felt her lover hook her fingers under the fabric of her last remaining item of clothing. Feeling a sudden need rise up within her, the Kyoto woman dropped her hands to cover Natsuki's lightly. Breaking the kiss, the other woman peered up at her with uncertainty. Shizuru smiled at her reassuringly before pulling Natsuki's hands away and bringing one to her lips. She pressed her lips to the back of it before nibbling on the first knuckle.

"Shizuru?" came Natsuki's raspy voice. The way it had dropped made Shizuru's stomach flip.

Flicking her tongue out across the skin her teeth had just given their attention to, Shizuru gave her lover meaningful look. "I need to feel you," she murmured against Natsuki's skin and pulled purposefully on the orange jacket with her free hand.

Natsuki's eyes widened momentarily with realisation but the embarrassment passed quickly and she retrieved her hand before slipping the outer layer of her uniform off. As soon as it was off, Shizuru's hands moved to pull up the sweater and Natsuki lifted her arms to make the task easier. She paused once she'd tossed the garment aside, her gaze travelling over the milky skin of Natsuki's chest and the black bra that hid her breasts from Shizuru.  _That won't do at all._

Going to work instantly on the offending article of clothing, she could sense her lover's amusement at how focused she was. She easily unclasped the bra and removed it, freeing her prize from their prison. Shizuru eyed the soft mounds hungrily, her hands moving to them instantly. Cupping one and squeezing, she allowed her free hand to explore the other breast more leisurely. She caressed the sensitive skin with her fingertips, allowing them to flutter across the pink bud at the peak of Natsuki's breast from time to time.

Her lover's hands were on her thighs now, nails digging lightly into the flesh there in reaction to Shizuru's teasing caresses. Taking the nipple between her fingers, she applied enough pressure to cause Natsuki to gasp out but not enough to hurt her. She then took to flicking her thumb across the hardened nub as she watched the delightful reactions on Natsuki's face. The collecting storm of desire in the pit of her stomach told her she needed more, however, and she pressed her palm against the other woman's chest, pushing her onto her back once more.

Not allowing Natsuki time to react, Shizuru tugged on her lover's skirt, easily slipping it down past her legs. After discarding it, she decided to relieve the younger woman of her shoes and socks as well, which Natsuki let her do. Pleased with her task, she allowed her gaze to travel the full length of her lover's body, taking in each curve and bend of her breathtaking form. Barely touching Natsuki, she trailed her fingertips along her legs as she made her way back up her body. The other woman shifted under the touch, her brow furrowing with frustration.

Her hand hovered over the black fabric of Natsuki's underwear, tracing circles over the top of them from one hip to the other. She could feel her lover's gaze burning into her but she focused on the unseen patterns her fingers were making across the cotton. Smirking at the low growl that drifted to her ears, Shizuru finally looked up at her lover's face. Natsuki's eyes were narrowed at her, the darkened irises barely visible. She reached down to the older woman's hand and gripped it tightly.

"Dammit, Shizuru, I said show me," she growled out the words, the frustration evident in her voice.

This only widened Shizuru's smirk but she wasn't about to turn Natsuki down now. She needed it just as much as the young biker did. Without answering, the Kyoto woman gripped the thin fabric between her fingers and tugged the underwear down the same journey the skirt had made. The scent of Natsuki's arousal instantly filled her nose and a surge of desire shot down to her gut, clouding her mind. Having removed her lover's remaining garment, she did the same with her own, too impatient to have Natsuki fumble over it, as endearing as that might have been.

She could see her own hunger mirrored in Natsuki's eyes now. Shizuru lowered her body onto her lover's, the overwhelming desire to have that contact making her act without conscious thought. The sensation of both their bodies pressed together without any barriers was indescribable. She had often fantasised about this but she could never have imagined how amazing it would feel. Her pulse quickened as strong arms encircled her waist, the heat from Natsuki's body sending her mind into a maddening haze. She held some of her weight off her lover by propping herself up on her forearms.

As she peered down at the other woman, she felt skin slide against skin and one of Natsuki's legs slipped in between her. She whimpered as bared flesh pressed against her pubic bone, her pulse quickening. Relaxing into the position with her lover, she let her own leg settle against the collection of dark hairs at Natsuki's groin. She felt a dampness against her thigh and she let out a low murmur at the knowledge of what she'd done to the younger girl.

Shizuru began to rock against Natsuki, encouraged by how she let out short, sharp breaths as she pressed against her each time. As a side effect, however, she was fanning her own desires by lowering herself onto Natsuki's thigh repeatedly. Soon, they fell into a heated rhythm, their bodies allied with a common goal. She lowered her lips to her lover's, her tongue dipping into her mouth, tasting the sweetness there. Tangling her fingers in the black strands that were splayed out across the floor beneath them, Shizuru continued to rock, her hips bucking at the apex of her movement.

The muscles in her stomach tightened as she ground herself against her lover's thigh and a little voice at the back of her mind was warning her she'd lose control soon, but the overpowering sensations stemming from her groin drowned the thought out. She found she didn't care, this was too important. Natsuki's hands slid down her back and came to rest on her behind, urging her lover to rock with more force, encouraging the pace to quicken.

Shizuru didn't disappoint the other woman and moved against her with increased fervour, their breasts sliding against each other's and adding to the myriad of intoxicating sensations she was feeling. She could feel perspiration collecting on her skin now and it tickled the curve of her back as she arched with each push against her lover. Concentrating on watching Natsuki's face as various expressions of pleasure flickered across it was becoming increasingly difficult. Her heart was hammering in her chest and the pulse of need in her gut was threatening to tip her over into bliss but she refused to go without the other woman.

She clenched her jaw as she focused on retaining control, her eyes rooted to the enchanting vision of Natsuki's skin flushing an increasingly reddening colour. The mingling scents of their wetness reached her as she slipped against Natsuki's leg, her own arousal easing the process. She found herself biting down on her bottom lip as she neared a precipice she wasn't yet ready to tumble over. Natsuki's quiet moans weren't helping either.

As if that wasn't making things hard enough, she noticed too late that Natsuki had forced a hand between their bodies and curled her fingers around to press against her clit. She almost lost her strength completely at the shock of pleasure, only just managing to stop herself from falling onto her lover. Her rocking faltered then and she tried to steady herself but Natsuki's fingers gave her no chance. The continual assault on her clit forced small whimpers from her throat and she could feel the tension building to a crescendo in the pit of her stomach.

"Nn..." She attempted to object to her lover taking control, to tell her that she wanted them to climax together, but her body refused to cooperate. At that moment, it was only listening to her lover. The garbled sound caused Natsuki to pause for a few seconds, which gave Shizuru the time to renew her own efforts with added vigour. She brought her leg up against the other woman with extra force, causing Natsuki to squeeze her eyes shuts and let out a short cry. Her brow furrowed as Shizuru rocked against her again.

Yet, that didn't cease Natsuki's ministrations and she pressed the tip of her forefinger against Shizuru, causing her to flinch from the sensitivity of the small bundle of nerves nestled there. Without giving the older woman a break, Natsuki slid her hand down and slipped two fingers into her. Shizuru shuddered against her lover, her muscles clamping down instantly on those fingers before adjusting to their presence. She almost lost control completely then but biting down more firmly on her lip allowed her to retain at least a little.

Now her rocking was causing Shizuru to ride Natsuki's fingers as well, which she knew couldn't last much longer, no matter how much she tried to fight it. But it felt so good and she didn't want it to end. Just knowing Natsuki was inside her was enough to make her heart stutter dangerously and her breathing to catch in her throat. The sensation of her slender fingers slipping in and out of her, brushing against her front wall, coming into contact with her most sensitive area occasionally, was the single more intensive and perfect feeling she had ever felt.

With her free hand, Natsuki gripped the back of Shizuru's neck and pulled her down, breaking the positioning she'd barely been able to sustain. She flopped onto her lover but they still moved against one another. Breath tickling her ear told her Natsuki's mouth was close.

"Let go," she whispered, her voice raspy and almost unrecognisable.

With her hand pumping into Shizuru and Natsuki's sultry words, that was enough to tip the older woman over. She felt as though a building tidal wave suddenly came crashing down on top of her and she heard a high pitched buzzing in her ears as her entire body tensed. She could feel her muscles grip Natsuki's fingers and pulse around them. Every one of her nerves tingled with the overwhelming euphoria she felt. As she trembled against her lover, she felt a sting at her shoulder and she was vaguely aware of Natsuki's teeth against her skin there.

The younger woman's body was echoing her own now and she realised her body's movements had sparked Natsuki's own orgasm. She could feel her lover's fingers twitch unintentionally inside her, drawing out the aftershocks of her climax. She let out a shuddering breath as her body went limp, soon followed by Natsuki's. They lay there, gasping for breath and basking in the aura of contentment that surrounded them. A smile pulled unbidden on Shizuru's lips and she snuggled her face into the crook of Natsuki's neck, breathing in her scent.

She mouthed three words against the skin there, a habit from the days when she'd had to keep her feelings deeply hidden. She felt Natsuki's hand slip up from her neck and stroke her hair. They stayed like that for a few moments, allowing their minds to emerge from the haze of cloud they had been enveloped in.

"Me too," Natsuki whispered.

Shizuru blinked several times, her heart skipping a beat. She didn't miss the meaning in those words. Natsuki had somehow known exactly what her silent declaration had been, even in her distracted state. Perhaps she could feel the words. Shizuru couldn't miss the power of what Natsuki had said, even if she hadn't spoken the exact phrase. She realised she didn't have to hear it from her lover, it was enough to know she meant it.

A warmth swelled in her chest and she wiggled off of Natsuki, letting her body slip off to one side but leaving one leg draped across her hips. She noticed the other woman made no attempt to remove her fingers from their current location. She tried to ignore the sensations the slightest movement of those fingers caused and, instead, focused on the face of the woman she loved.

She could feel the beaming smile on her own face and Natsuki couldn't help but return it. It was good to see Natsuki smiling like that but it was better to know she was the reason for it. She felt almost lighter now, freer. She knew that even if they both had problems they would have to work at, they'd be able to manage together. Even though Shizuru's fears hadn't disappeared, they didn't feel so terrible with Natsuki at her side and she had some genuine hope for the future. Their future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was the entirety of Giving In. I think it's important to note that there was a gap of around three years between the third and fourth chapters. No one's noticed any inconsistencies because of that time but I think it's fair to point out there may have been some since I was away from the fandom for so long. If so, I do apologise.
> 
> Giving In became quite the epic for me. I found myself very wrapped up in the emotions the pair were feeling and, at times, it was a little difficult to write. I do so enjoy writing tension between a pairing though, so that kept me going. Even after the three year break. I hope you enjoyed reading it. :)


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